Don't get me wrong, I'm so so grateful to be pregnant again.. but holy hell, this PGAL brain sucks BIG CAJONES.
The first day I try not POAS, I panic and think the sore nipples are no longer sore.. and this backache- impending miscarriage and doom? Or just from peeling and cutting 11 apples while bent over a garbage pail?
Waving the white flag, I watched with a sigh of relief as the wondfo showed me what I wanted..
And reminded myself that Tuesday's beta results were an awesome 1873, which gives me a doubling time of just about 34 hours..
But that appointment, two weeks from today, seems as far away as an oasis mirage to a parched man in the desert - it feels like it'll never be here.. and you know what sucks? A good appointment will appease a PGAL brain for only about 24 hours..
Because you know tragedy can strike within even minutes of seeing a reassuring heart flicker, and your next appointment, when you discover said tragedy, is weeks away.. so - would you rather find out the second "It" happens, or would you rather be able to "still be pregnant" for the last few weeks...
Today? I'm pregnant, and I love my baby. And I'm going to stuff my face in thanks for everything I have this year.