Thursday, August 21, 2014

BigTop Birthday (Part II)

ok, enough of this commenting and fun stuff about where I bought what, or how drunk I got making that...
Without further ado, Benjamin's Bigtop Bash:

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

CarRide Chronicles

I was jamming along to Mirrors by JT (aka the BoyBand king) the other day.

I waited to make the left turn en route to daycare drop off, when I was waved through by some random hunky guy in a sedan, probably in his later 30's.

And then I realized that if I'd passed the same guy, same age but 10 years ago, younger-me would have thought that he's TOO OLD.

Attractive, but too old. (like, silver fox old.)

Then I remembered being young and having crushes on older celebrities (Cher's adorable older brother! the creepy but still-so-sexy stalker! the heroic astronaut!)and thinking, no way in real life (real life?! seriously lol) would he want someone as young as me!

Of course, a few years' difference in your teens makes a MUCH bigger difference than in your twenties, even LESS in your thirties... and by your forties - what age gap?!

Anyways - then the song changed and I started serenading Ben with "Oooooh Oh OOOOOh! You don't know you're beau-ti-fuuuuul!"

And I realized that One Direction is my Nsync - older women were like, aw they're cute! but too young!

And now I'm one of those women going, "Harry Styles? He's cute, just a leeeeee-ttle too YOUNG though!"

**10 minutes later (of avoiding-work at work...)
It's even worse.

Pierce Brosnan has a son. (as do a number of other actors - well duh K, lots of people have sons - I mean, actors that are delish and so are their sons... their OLD-to-young-K sons...)


While I have slight issues (as he of Mrs. Doubtfire fame used to be a SilverFox Crush!) I will gladly switch my admirations to his son!


Tuesday, August 19, 2014


Welp - it happened.

The first communicable disease at Ben's daycare.

We got the email Saturday morning: two kids had COXSACKIE.  (aka HandFoot&Mouth Disease)

My SIL was over that morning as we were getting ready to take Ben shopping and to lunch - and E begins a nuclear-level-meltdown:

"god DAMMIT.  SHIT.  I wonder who it is!!"

(proceeded to respond to the daycare provider's email - under my email! - demanding asking to know if either of them were in Ben's class...)

We quickly got a response that Yes, one of the kids was from Ben's class.  (I also felt I had to apologize and make clear that E had sent the borderline nasty email when the owner kept saying how bad she felt...)

When I began to hypothesize out loud that it was siblings at the daycare (one of Ben's classmates has an older brother) the nuclear meltdown went even higher:

"OH GOD DAMMIT - Ms. [Teacher] showed me a video of [Timmy] feeding Ben by hand! OH DAMMIT!"

I mean - the guy acted like Ben had been exposed to Ebola...

So, we watched him all weekend - nary a symptom sprouted.

Except then, today I got a call at work.  (First of all, I am just glad that the first line out of their mouths when they call me at work is, "Ben is ok!")

But his eyes were oozing.

He had a slight eye booger problem and just seemed "off."  She wondered if maybe it was pink-eye developing? And was that a symptom of coxsackie??


So after a quick pow-wow with E, we arranged that I would pick up and bring infectious baby Ben to the doctor, and he would take off of work tomorrow to stay home with him.

Ben and I sat in the waiting room (on the quarantined "sick visit" side) and I admonished him, DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING! you'll give everyone coxsackie!!

(if you're wondering how the hell to pronounce that, it's "cock-sackie."  But say it fast, so no one can quite tell exactly what you're saying... or just call it "HandFoot&Mouth Disease" and make it easier on everyone...)

Well quick visit (but long wait) later, Ben does not have coxsackie.

He has a double ear infection...

Monday, August 18, 2014

The Birthday Post

I think that a photographic narrative of the day would best suffice Mr. Benjamin's BigTop Birthday Bash...

Beginning with the fabulous invitations...

by tinyprints
45 invites
(included tax + S&H)

And you will all remember the tedious planning and crafting that went into it...
picture picture
cleaned-out beer bottles (free after I bought and drank the beer!)
wrapped in striped paper (from Michaels - $0.25/sheet)

 (just a SNAPSHOT of what went on in the MONTHS leading up to the big day...)

used baby-food jars (free after Ben ate the food!) wrapped in burlap stuff (? lol) and curled ribbon

They became center pieces:

(homemade pinwheels, again from Michael's paper)

Photobooth props from felt and card stock and baking stick thingies from Michaels.

Wooden plates from Michaels (oh, say $1 each, $10 for the large heavy BigTop arrow) painted with
Acrylic paint (again Michaels - I basically made weekly trips...) maybe $8
Felt sheets from Michaels ($0.40 each) 

And I sat, while probably watching some trashy reality TV, and proceeded to TRACE AND CUT AND HOT GLUE all them bitches. 


By the day before his party, my dining room table (heck the whole entire room) was covered in birthday paraphernalia.*

(*wow, spelled that correctly on the first go!!)

There was even a mini crisis when I noticed a few ants on the bags and bags (and bags) of candy for the next day's candy bar!!

None made it inSIDE the candy wrappers, and my adopted SIL's were great assistants helping me de-Ant...

All that was left the night before was to bake cupcakes and his smash cake*:
(I got the idea for his smash cake (sprinkles around a "1") from Parenting magazine...
The popcorn cupcakes pretty much came from here.)

*Well, bake and hang yards and yards and yards of fabric in our garage circus tent! (don't kill me, I'm not sure where the pictures are of the fabulous garage-to-tent transformation, hopefully you can get the idea of it from other photos' backgrounds...)

We woke up bright and early on D-day, ready to finish setting up...

(Part II to follow, because HOLY PHOTO-OVERLOAD!)

Saturday, August 16, 2014

Just wanted you to know...

I sat last night, in the "playroom" still in progress (old futon and bookshelf to be junked, etc) and watched my son play.

I even thought that sentence to myself: "I'm watching my son play."

It was such a surreal moment, filled with awe at literally the miracle that he is, made of particles invisible to the naked eye... How with just a different sperm (I still giggle like a school-girl at that word...) someone totally different would have been sitting in front of me.  Or even might not have been there... A different sperm and egg met over two years ago for my first BFP - the wrong sperm, or the wrong egg.  And nature took its course...

And with my bestie Dee having just had her baby a month ago (HOLY SHIZ-NAT how is he a month old already?!) I am so happy that she is along for the motherhood ride now.

My blog posts broadly range from shallow, short and/or silly (don't forget Husbands couldn't care less about mucous plugs!) to the philosophical-waxing type (somehow facing jealousy of "easy" pregnancies and remembering what even led to this blog)

I think readers range too - there are those of you that I'm so excited and happy for you to be riding the motherhood train with me, all in various shades of parenting - newborns, twins, after a loss, after IF treatments...

There are those of you that are boarding the train - pregnant after a loss, pregnant after hard and heart-worn attempts, pregnant and full of fear after what you've been through; and for you all I remember my boarding, fraught with nerves and fears.  I pray along with you (to whoever you might pray to) for healthy pregnancies, healthy babies and healthy mothers.

And there are those of you, and even some blogs I follow that may not follow mine - and believe me, I am in no way offended or hurt - You protect yourselves, and it's because you may have faced BFN after BFN.  You may have experienced a loss, or heart-breaking multiple losses.
And for you all I pray the hardest.  I am a tear-stained broken heart with you at every bump in the road, every hiccup, every unseen obstacle (I had originally intended to go for (hopefully humorously-) obnoxious in the number of cliches but I seem to have run out...)

As I sat last night with Ben in his playroom, I wanted this for you all so bad, my heart hurt.

My blogged snapshots of life and thoughts are just that - snapshots.  They're superficial scenes of fashion, and house tours, and fun-filled trips.

But it's deeper than that: we connect through this community we've all somehow become a part of...  (I mean, hey - I've got an  IRL-bestie over on Easley Street!)
We rally with hugs, joy, concern, trepidation, SQUEEEE-ness at all the ups and downs we each have faced and may face in the future.

As light and airy as It, and I, may seem being in The After - in the SuccessAfterLoss category - not a day goes by that I don't check my Blogger feed and hope to hell that your IUI worked.
 Or that your NT scan came back with an "all perfect."
Or that you made it past a loss EDD, or a previous loss-milestone, sanity (somewhat) intact.
Or hope that, even though you're not blogging of it, that your IF treatments are happening, and are happening successfully at each stage...
Not a day goes by that I don't think of you all - new parents, new pregnancies, new heartache - and I just wanted you all to know that.

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Different this time, I Promise!

This time being - a new series! (I know, I know - the TourTuesdays didn't get done last night, but E has a hockey game Friday night so I'm ALL OVER THOSE!)

No, these will be short and sweet blurbs amidst the regular posting.


And the first happened a few weeks ago, when I realized the core difference between men and women:
E and I were talking about a local Panera Bread (zomg the yumminess...) and it's exact location, as I couldn't place where he was talking about.

"It's right next to the
 you know, behind the A.C.Moore?"

And then I finally remembered - 
"Oh yea, that Panera! 
Right behind 


Oh the difference between men and women...

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Not what was promised...

But at least a little something...

I've been meaning to get over here and get some events and pictures jotted down, and I keep putting it off, wincing at the fact that I STILL haven't done the Birthday Post...

And if I waited until I had all my shit together (*ahem - what TourTuesday series?!) it would be another week until I posted...

So, as long as I can commandeer the computer from E tonight at home, I will get together 1 - The Birthday Post and 2 - the Tour Tuesdays (which I can hopefully just finish at least 2 and pre-schedule-post them... (also brewing in the Post-Pot is big boy's first trip to Texas! (we just returned Monday afternoon))
(He was SO SO SO SO good on the plane rides - four in total!!!)

We saw my friend Dee's little Cameron again the other day:
SO stinkin' cute (literally stinky - he farts like a true champ!) and Ben adored him:
Which, if I'm being honest, made my ovaries tremble just a bit... I mean, I don't really think I want 2U2... but Ben was so gentle with the baby! 
I was eating pineapple the other day at lunch and couldn't help but flashback to the core-eating days...
While I'm not on any BC at the moment, except the P&P (*pull&pray*) method, I think we're somewhat TTA for now...

In a perfect world, I'd like #2 to be born late next fall. (which means TTC begins Christmas time!!)
But also, in a perfect world, BFP#1 wouldn't have ended so disastrously, but that means... Ben wouldn't be here. 
Grateful for this imperfect world...