Friday, July 22, 2016

for now...

I've got a few posts half started in my brain (and half started on blogger) with every intention of writing them.

Next week...

(but probably not, because my parents are flying in Sunday night for a week long visit!)

Starting with Button's 3-year check up today (AGH!) then we've got a birthday BBQ/pool party tomorrow, a wedding on Sunday - and then my parents fly in that night...

for now, I'm heading out of work - thanks to some nice GI issues... but hey - I'm no longer "just one stomach bug away from my ideal weight!"  (and will look FABULOUS in my fancy dress at the wedding! ha....)

Tuesday, July 12, 2016

Holiday Dumpage...

Plus a little bit of brain-vomit...

A few weeks ago, I had to get new phone when my old one suddenly stopped taking charge... E had told me multiple times recently that he was just waiting for my nod to go phone shopping.  Well that day, i messaged him "Verizon store. meet me there straight after work, I'll get kids!"
I watched my battery percent go lower and lower (and didn't even think/worry about getting all my pictures off until I hit 2% in the Verizon store and it died!)
((thankfully, somehow E was able to charge it when we got home later that night... now I just have to offload the pics some day...))

But the good thing (silver lining?) is my new phone has an AWESOME new camera (1000x better than old one - hence the picture-vomit to follow)

So- our recent holiday weekend:
On Saturday morning I was steaming and blending more food for Ms. Mack, when I noticed the Disney movie going on out our back door/on our back porch:
How many animals can YOU count in this picture?
There's FOUR blue-jays and a finch ... at one point we had the four blue-jays, two finches, a squirrel AND a chipmunk. all at once.

After stealthily slipping out of the kitchen to call the boys from the basement to come see (didn't want to scare them off!) Button then wanted ME to come see - he can write* his name!

*E first writes the shadow of letters with his finger, then Button traces... 

but he IS able to free-hand a smiley-face!! =)

Then, because of the impending influx of estrogen and breastmilk (my BF Tribe came over for lunch with their littles!) E took off "to stroll some stores, like Home Depot. maybe Lowe's..."

That night we headed to friends' condo for dinner and Button's first firework show!!! (I considered him still too little last summer to stay up so late - agh summer sun doesn't set until like, 8:45 and firework shows start so late!)

(also - lovely hostess made yogurt/fruit icepops for the kids!)
(It also ended up working out well - Ms. Mack napped late on the way to friends' place so both kiddos were good to stay up a little late!)

Our Sunday morning looked like this:
I absolutely adore her halo of bedhair... <3 <3

While E took off to go fishing with Mr. Friend from the previous night, I made plans with Ms. Friend (their wedding is next weekend!!) to meet at diner for breakfast... We made it out unscathed (and tantrum-free!) and then came home and went for walk before it got too hot...
I squeezed Ms. Mack into her Best Little Sister onesie (it's 3M... we had to wear it one last time!) and we goofed off waiting for Daddy to come back from fishing...

They both went down for naps (YESSSSS!)
 (ok, so it's not like I got a lot done during HER nap... lol)

We killed some time until Button woke up:

And we then went to my in-laws to BBQ/hang out before they left for DTS

(they wanted to see the kids before they started their week vacation)


Boy did I love having that three-day weekend...
Fourth of July dawned BEAUTIFUL, and we spent the morning at a nearby reservoir (where, in fact, E went fishing the day before!)

Button got to fish with Daddy (they didn't catch anything but someone else's lure!)

 We spent the rest of the Fourth in our backyard, testing out the baby pool before Button's big Splash-Bash birthday party this Saturday! 

Yup - you saw that, right? Button's THIRD BIRTHDAY PARTY is this Saturday! Agh (better go order a cake, huh?)

We met new neighbors who moved in two weeks ago with a little boy who is 3.5 - perfect for a new friend! We've invited them to the party this weekend, hope they make it!

(oh yea - can't forget Ms Mack's driving lessons!)

Thursday, July 7, 2016

Just F*cking Doing It

I know I know - boring lately, just posting other articles I've read. real original thoughts, right?

can I help it if what I'm thinking is so much more eloquently worded by someone else? ; )

especially when my language and self-expression, when inspired, gets filled with expletives every other word...

Like last night - which went like this:
    ~5:10    headed to daycare from work
    ~5:40    hit the grocery store with both kids - we needed fruits and veggies to blend for Ms. Mack's food

    ~6:15    get home, wrangle kids and groceries inside - leave the frozen stuff on the counter while I get the dogs out to go potty (all the while Button, who ripped his shoes and socks off first thing, is scrambling to get them back on because he "WANTS TO GO WITH [me] OUTSIDE!!!"   

    ~6:45    E rolls in from work as I'm defrosting shrimp and starting to cut up pears (for Ms. Mack's purees) and of course, he spends 20 minutes playing with the kids... isn't that nice? to walk in from work and play with your kids?

    ~7:15   we're sitting down to dinner, I'm feeding Ms. Mack (and in between her screams for more food, feeding myself) the pears are on pause...

    ~7:45   Ms. Mack is fussy (she last woke from a nap at daycare at 3pm...) I head upstairs with her to nurse and put her to bed... (hoping for a fuss-free bedtime, she should be tired enough!)

    ~8:10   Come downstairs, E is out on the front step with Button eating ice pops.  As I'm in the kitchen cutting up the third pear to boil, I hear him ask if I can take Button to bed tonight...      ....... I literally asked, "are you serious? or just saying that for his sake/to get him in line?" (Remember tantrums? because he wants daddy to take him to bed?)  No, he's serious...

    ~8:20  I put the pears on to boil, ask E to watch them, and take Button up to bed - teeth get brushed, we go potty one last time (been rocking undies to bed!) and read three ("just one more!") four books and sing songs (as I whisper-yell at Button to be quiet, for fear of waking up the baby in the same room...)

    ~8:40  back downstairs, continue working on the purees - while the pears boil, I peel and chop carrots.  While the carrots boil, I drain, blend and jar the pears... while I drained, blended and jarred the carrots, the green beans and spinach were boiling...

     ~10:20ish   finally closed the last jar of applesauce, got the kitchen cleaned up - oh wait, I need to make bottles for daycare tomorrow... (which entails defrosting a bag of milk since she drank all 3 bottles that day and I only pumped 2...)

     ~10:21ish    oh but wait - Ms. Mack ended up on her stomach and is fussing, so I need to go rock her back to sleep, after the "shushing" didn't work...

     ~10:50    Ms. Mack back to sleep, I finished bottles for daycare and got my pump bag packed. 

oh look it's time to go to bed...
and then E will occasionally have the nerve to complain that he never has time to do his stuff (like his side projects for which he makes money!!)

All that to segue to:
   I have friends that ask "how is it having two kids versus one?"
And I mostly answer, not that much different...

You've already gone through the wholly-life-changing "omfg-what-did-I-do" event of having your first baby... just mix in a few more sleepless nights, more caffeine, and more craziness and you've gone from one kid to two!

what about the people that are all, "man I don't know how you do it! Working full time and all the other magnificent things you do like laundry, and house work, and feeding the kids..."  (sorry - got carried away with what I'd like to be hearing... lol)

but really, how do I do it?

I just fucking do it - because as a mom, I have to!

queue link to another great article I recently read, nodding my head at almost every part, going "uh HUH! YUP - OMG SO TRUE!"

            The "Just Fucking Doing It" Club

because as moms, we just fucking do it...

"And you know what – it is fucking impressive but also – it is what it is.
We are the Just Fucking Doing It Club.
Nobody gets shit done like mothers do."

I'll be over here, getting shit done... 

Wednesday, July 6, 2016

answer anger with... LOVENESS

Being the mom of a threenager  a moody toddler an active and accident-prone but well-intentioned little boy (he throws his empty dishes into the sink blindly... love that he cleans up after himself, but I'm surprised he hasn't yet broken any glass that was in the sink! **He has broken a glass in the living room...) there have totally been times where I feel myself losing my cool at the 10th tantrum in three hours...

but I recently came across this article, which was really a share of this fabulous post by mommy Kathleen Fleming, author of the blog Majestic Unicorn (helluva blog name, right?!)

and this post - oh man, all the feels...

this here is how I want to be able to react... to tantrums because he wants Daddy, to accidentally shattered glasses, to thrown toys, to anything that really isn't that big of a deal in the grand scheme of life...

Broken Things

This was my hallway last Wednesday.  

Broken.  Sharp.  Treacherous.

This was my hallway.

It was my son who did this.

Sometimes, often really, things break - irreparably.  And it takes your breath away ... straight away.

It took my breath away when my son stormed into the bathroom, frustrated, angry, fed-up for his very own, very significant to him, reasons.  And when he chose to SLAM the bathroom door, causing the heavy mirror mounted to the front to slip out of the hardware holding it in place and crash onto the floor - a million, BROKEN pieces were left reflecting the afternoon light.

I was quiet.  I surveyed the damage and took a deep breath.  Put the dog outside so he wouldn't cut his feet, put the cat in the basement for the same reason.

I walked into the backyard and felt the hot tears streaming down my face.  It's amazing how alone you can feel as a single parent in moments like these.  I realized how scared and disappointed I felt.  Did this really just happen?  Yes.  This was real.

And as I stood and considered whether or not this was an indication of his developing character, I heard his tears through the window above me, coming from inside the bathroom.

His soul hurt.  This was not what he expected either.  Hello, Anger - I don't remember inviting you into my house.






Deep breath, #MamaWarrior.  Deep breath.  That small, fragile soul needs you right now.  He needs your very best.  Your biggest compassion.  Your most gentle and firm mama love and reassurance.  More deep breaths.  Go Mama.

Go.  Go now.  Go open the front door, tiptoe through the broken glass, hear him hearing you coming, watch the bathroom door crack open, see the face you love most in the world red with worry and wet with tears, his voice is suddenly so small: "Mama, I'll never do it again, I am SO sorry."  More tears.  More weeping.  Such uncertainty on his sweet face.

Go Mama.  Get him.  Go now.  Scoop him into your lap.  Yup, you're crying too.  Damn this was big.  Hold him tight.  Watch how he curls into a ball in your arms so quickly.  See how eager he is to be loved by you.  To be reassured by you.  See how small he still is.  See how fragile that spirit is.

I love you.

You are safe.

I am right here.

The worst part is over now.

I've got you.

I'm here.

 I love you.

Go Mama.  Tell him about Anger.  Tell him now.  Anger is a really powerful feeling.  You have a right to your Anger.  Anger burns hot.  It can purify.  It can also destroy.  He nods.  He feels it.  He's met Anger now.

There's a better way to show your big feelings.

We'll work on it together .... tomorrow.

I'm here to help you.

You are safe.

You are never alone in your anger.

 You are never alone in your fears.

I'm here.  We're here together.

Now we will clean together.

And we cleaned up the broken pieces.  We swept and we vacuumed.  It was quiet work.  It was careful work.  It was thoughtful work.

Sometimes things break.  Sometimes we break them.  It's not the breaking that matters, the how or why.  What matters is how we choose to respond to the broken-ness.  Does it kill us?  Does it throw us into a downward spiral of blame and punishment?


Does it help us remember how to love deepest?  Does it push us towards compassion and over the hurdle of "rightness" and "wrongness" into LOVENESS?


Go Mama.  Go now.  Get that baby of yours.  Teach that.  Show that.  Live that.  It's called LOVENESS.  Go.  Now.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~       ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

aaaand tears well up again as I copy, paste & skim....


Monday, June 27, 2016


why is it people feel they can ask "are you breastfeeding?" as if it isn't a private question - like, whether you feed your baby from the boob or bottle should matter or be public knowledge...

at a glance, it's a benign question, with a simple answer... but the more I get asked, and the more I think about it, the more I want to answer - "what does it matter?? that is a personal decision made by the mom/parents, and what does it matter to you, stranger/parent-at-daycare/whoever-is-asking, if I'm breastfeeding?"
Maybe because I've been asked by a variety of people - men (my husband's friends) and women.  And interestingly enough, I never feel judged or like I have to explain anything when I answer a man - you get the succinct "oh ok, cool, my sister/wife/cousin did too..."
And then I get the moms who ask, and I get the sense they feel judged by my answer/choice... like when the fellow daycare mom asks, and I answer yes, she seemed to feel the need to defend why she's not BFing her baby  - "I tried with the twins, I had no milk, I had no milk this time either..." or another fellow daycare mom with an almost-1-year-old in Ms. Mack's room, when she saw me nursing one morning before running to work: "yea, I tried for a few weeks with him - my milk never came in..."

Not to sound harsh or unkind - but I didn't care! Not that I didn't care if they fed their babies, but I didn't care if they tried for 6 months, tried for 6 hours, didn't try and started immediately with formula - be a proud momma that you're taking care of your baby, yourself, AND working!!! That 'ISH IS HARD!

But thanks to a recent traffic-filled commute (hey, carride chronicles!), I think it's a personal choice, kind of like being asked, "do you use tampons or pads?"  ((neither, thanks for asking - still no PP period, wooooooot!))
(((and same thing - I don't care what you use, nobody else should either - as long as you do something to rein in that crimson wave... or - well, I guess you could "free bleed" ... technically...)))
wow I really got off-topic...

Moving on to the most important part...

Eating: still nursing when together (evenings/nights, mornings, weekends) and takes (on average) two 3.5-oz bottles at daycare.  (Still pumping at work, twice a day - averaging every 3 hours...)
Eats breakfast at daycare - 4oz of food (bananas, peaches, mangos, yogurt) and cereal (mixed with formula), and then will nurse when we get home and have dinner with everyone (around 6:30/7) which is 4oz of food (yellow squash, peas, carrots, sweet potatoes, butternut squash, spinach&apples)
I'm still making the food (saves mad money! one bag of carrots (will last a few days) is on average $1.00, while a single jar of babyfood is about the same - $1.00!) and will soon start some mixes: carrots&peas, apples&banana, peaches&banana, etc... This weekend we also tried Gerber's yogurt melts (broken into 3rds) and the all-famous multi-brand puffs... she makes the funniest face at the texture...

Sleep: OMG you guys I think we turned a corner... (or maybe her 5th WonderWeek Leap ended!) but the night of her doctor's appt (Wednesday night) she slept ELEVEN STRAIGHT HOURS! And did it again the next night... "PRAISE JEEBUS please don't be residual effects from vaccines!"
Well we were down the shore this weekend, and so had laaate bedtimes (around 10pm) but she slept straight through until 6am each night! And last night?!?!? 7pm-6am! WOOOOOOOT MOTHA-F*CKA!

Length:  at 26.75" this girl is now over the 80th percentile for length... just as I was "worried" she was going to take after my petite Italian in-laws...LOL  ((I'm all, "Dr are you sure you measured her right?!"))
Weight: drum roll please.. at 14lbs12oz, we jumped up percentiles!!! ((conflicting info from different growth charts, lol but we definitely jumped up!))
I won't lie and say I wasn't nervous at all as we waited for the scale to register her weight, but I definitely felt more confident than past appointments - that girl got some nice thigh rolls! And I still don't quite believe I did it - we made it BFing!!!
Wearing: still size 2 diapers. no more size 3 clothes (the leggings/pants, sure they fit, but are snug on the belly and are total high-waters...)
6M sleepers (and I wager we won't make it very much longer until 9M sleepers!)
Some 9M hand-me-downs, mostly 6M onesies and pants...
0-3M shoes (lol still petite feet! like her mommy!)
It's not summer without a good pair of jellies!

Hates: still doesn't like getting her face/boogies wiped (which sucks, she has teeny-tiny nostrils and constantly has boogies!)
She also doesn't like avocado, after two tries... (WAH!) we'll still keep trying, as I think it's the texture of it, being a semi-solid...

Loves: bananas! (had bananas, mango & yogurt at a recent breakfast, and each time eating bananas she would grunt and squeal for more!)
loves summer weather (the sun, the sea-wind, the warm pools!)

Milestones: is completely sitting independently (sat the entire doctor appointment! MD was like, ummm... DAYUM GIRL!)

Ms. Mack is also pretty strong on her legs - if we prop her, she'll stand for at least a few minutes!
big brother helps her stand up!                                     Daddy helped her stand on our recent trip to Woodloch...


  1. you can recognize a bowl and spoon, know that it's time (or time soon) to eat, and you get so excited and start to grunt!
  2. You're ahead of your curve big girl! You've mastered sitting up, and in fact get upset when you have to lay down, trying to raise your head in a semi-sit-up/crunch position for awhile...
  3. When you sleep - you love to curl up on your side, fetal position like an adult... I swoon...
 4.  For some reason, Pops (FIL) scares the ba-jeesus out of you! each time you see him, or he pops up in front of you, your frowny-pout begins, and it's just seconds until you start crying for momma...
 5.  you've become enamored with my necklaces while you nurse... (you broke one yesterday!) and each time you're nursing, I can't resist - I start to sing, "Ma-de-line" and you grin, nip still in your mouth...
 6.  you still light up every time you see your big brother... I cannot wait to see how this adoration/affection develops!
(He's not a big fan of you playing with his toys, and frequently says, "Don't let Mad-oh-line put it in her mouth!!"


Button's adjusted well to being a big brother - he loves his little sister, and frequently will run a toy over to her to play with...

He is definitely a three-nager now, with the first crying fit sometimes hitting before his feet have even come out of bed...

He loves the summer weather, and had a blast on the beach with his auntie when we went down the shore this past weekend!

(Except when he threw sand all over his nursing sister... I.  WAS.   MAD)

Invitations just went out last Friday for his THIRD birthday party... (GAH!)

Can't wait to throw this little boy his Splash-Bash!

Wednesday, June 22, 2016

a little bit of rambling...

(This is going to be kind of a rambling post, to get some stuff blogged about before I write up Ms. Mack's 6 MONTH UPDATE!)

It wasn't until I became a STM - but somehow a switch was thrown, time started going faster and faster...

I mean, I'd already seen first hand how fast time flies...

Even looking at the past three years, I absolutely cannot believe how fast the past six months have flown by...

Funny pump story - I recently had to use sterile sample cups at work to store pumped milk after failing to bring enough bottles (good problem to have! - I brought 3 bottles for 2 pump sessions - but I pumped so much that morning that combined it wouldn't fit in one 5oz medela bottle!)
 (Yes, still BF/pumping and going strong!) I've dropped to two pumps a day (11:30am and 2:30pm) and so far, so good! With the "go ahead" for more food - I am tentatively excited and sure we'll make it to the WCM switch in three months!
Such a big difference from this post, where I hung up the flanges and packed up the pump - OH SO HAPPY to see it go, after pumping round the clock, mechanically, for months!

A recent weekend I went to a "baby food class" at a local Pottery Barn Kids, where a "baby chef" came and talked about purees, best vegetables/foods to make, apparently how a baby's ready for solids at THREE MONTHS (poor preggo FTM asked, and was told by this "baby chef" that babies could start solids then... DAFUQ???!?!?!)
I didn't learn anything new (good thing it was a free course!) but it was fun to have the cute "live taste-tester" to feed peas and mangos to!

That night I also got to have a Mom's Night Out with moms from the weekly BF support group I used to go to... my BF/BFF tribe!
While drinking about $90 worth of martinis (per girl!) we chatted about our babies (all within about 45 days of each other!) and our cool "tricks" (um, hello to shooting streams of breast milk! somehow we all discovered that the husbands just don't get it... "no, I do not want to see something cool...")

Lately, Button has been on a "car goes by itself" kick - I have a remote start on my car, and when he was playing with my keychain once, I said "be careful, if you push the wrong button, the car starts/goes by itself!" and he hasn't dropped it since...
Well we passed someone out jogging on our drive home from daycare, and Button asks, "Why is that lady running? Because her car go by itself??"

SIL and I recently tried SUP yoga...
 and wouldn't you know - after falling into the lake once (and accidentally pulling SIL in with me - our boards were tethered to the same anchor lol) I totally rocked the pose pictured middle above (not our actual picture)
I held that wheel pose better than I ever have in the studio!! (hot yoga tonight - hopefully I can give a repeat performance!)

And one last random blurb - last week we spent three days (two nights - and not enough time!) at Woodloch Pines Resort, an all-inclusive family resort in the Poconos... we opted to stay in one of the guest "homes" (versus the hotel-style rooms at the main lodge) located a mile or so from the lake at Woodloch Springs... two bedrooms and two bathrooms (plus fireplace, kitchen and dining room!) were perfect for our family - and cheaper due to a June-mid-week-sale!!!
We had an awesome time at their indoor/outdoor splashpad/pool area - the outdoor was heated, and had a max depth of 15" or so (was even still attended by a lifeguard) so it was perfect for Button to play in while we sat and soaked up some sun in the lounge chairs...
And with SO MUCH to do, the two full days we had were nowhere NEAR enough time to hit it all (next time on our hope-to-be-annual vacation: bumper boats and zip-lining for sure!)

So here we are, the second official day of summer, and celebrating Ms. Mack's 6 month "half-birthday!" (ack, yes. time... FLYING...)

Tuesday, May 31, 2016

SHOPPERS come in! =P

you guys - reading another blog this morning, I re-discovered the coolest thing in consignment shopping since, well - consignment shopping!

thredUP has got kids, baby, maternity and adults!    clothing!!     accessories!!

And now that summer has (finally) and officially hit with Memorial Day Weekend passed, I'm ready for some new clothes for a body that has definitely changed more after baby#2 than it did after baby#1... (must have something to do with Ms Mack's positioning (head down!) versus Button's breech the entire time - I'm all, "Wide Load coming through!" lol)

Check out what I got this morning!!!

Of course - I don't shop anymore without stopping for something fun for at least one of the kiddos...
I've been on the hunt for a cute long-sleeve guard for Ms. Mack, and this was the first thing I found during my shopping spree foray on thredUP this morning!

And those belts, how could you not for those prices??

And to go with the belts, first of all, the pants...
I "usually" (i.e. used to before kids...) wear typically size 6 pants... those are definitely a bit snug on the thighs/hips area now (oh THAT was fun, trying on all of my old work/dress pants from storage recently... WAAAH!)

So I am really excited to get these and try them all on!

And I'm always looking for new styles/fashions to wear to work (I change things up so often, I probably don't repeat outfits but just a few times a year...) so I jumped at these"tops" finds:
  Do you guys see those prices?! (I can't wait to wear the peach cowl neck sweater with some dark denim jeans, a white long-sleeve shirt underneath and some brown riding boots!!) - wait, we wanted SUMMER and I'm already jonesing for boots?! lol

speaking of summer - nothing says it more than some nice sundresses!
(I had removed the middle one from my cart at first, but then pictured it again - off the shoulders, my large floppy hat and cute sandals, sipping a margarita... (frozen, with salt please!)

Or even better, a sharp pair of shorts:
 how about for girl's night - a sparkly tank or tee, some long earrings, a bit of sushi and a pomegranate martini!

And what better tops off a girl's night style than this lovely azure lady...

YUP - that's a Kate Spade clutch, for just $32... And - with a promo code for 40% OFF - I actually got my Saturday Envelope clutch for UNDER TWENTY DOLLARS!!!

HOW can I get those bargains?! you may ask...

Well just head on over to thredUP and SHOP! 

(oh, you might want to use the code "KELLE40" and get your 40% off, courtesy of this fabulous blog!)