Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Hump Hump

nothing much going on - chugging along (falling asleep most nights real early... BLUGH it's like First-Tri fatigue again...)

waiting for E to send me a bunch of pictures from the weekend (we spent it down the shore - beach, boardwalk, crabbing at the bay...)

this weekend E's going on his annual canoe trip and we're scheduling play dates, splash pads, and breakfasts...

For now, Happy Hump Day!

And Bump day!

Friday, August 21, 2015

String-Bean Button

We finally had Button's 2-year appointment last night (I love our ped office - late nights once a week for working parents! although I've never hesitated to take off work if Button needs to get to the doctor...)

It was fun to see them now that #2 is on the way, and before Button's appointment, they first entered info for their "new upcoming patient" and her EDD as well as that I'll be scheduling the RCS soon...

I had been excited to see what percentile Button was for length - you know, a more official measurement than his little giraffe/monkey growth chart on the wall of his room...

So we got him down to his skivvies and stood him, like a big boy, on a scale... off came the wet diaper (which weighed like, 4oz!) and Button's official 2-year weight was recorded as 29lbs6oz - almost dead center between 50th and 75th percentile, around the 62th percentile
(I'm trying to find all of Button's previous weights to log his growth, because the first few months he was barely on the chart - but alas, to get access to the patient portal you have to pay an annual like, $50 subscription (which is relatively cheap) but ours lapsed... )

And then we layed him on the exam table where the nurse marks his length with a pen and allows him to get up off the table and she then measures the marks she made at his head and feet... I registered the 36 and 3/4" length, curiously wondering exactly what that meant - tall for his age? short? average?

The nurse finished her stuff, and in came the doctor with her "fun" stethoscope and ear-scope, which he totally eyed up distrustfully, but was totally awesome sitting in Daddy's lap for his whole exam!
(INCLUDING the finger stick at the end, followed by SQUEEZING and SQUEEZING of his finger tip to get blood for hemoglobin and lead levels - all fantastic and/or "below normal" - which means, even if we did have lead paint in our house, Button's certainly not eating the paint chips!)
Ben holding his post-finger-stick gauze on like a trooper!

And as the doctor's confirming things like, he drinks enough milk, gets enough fruit & veggies (and so is pooping accordingly), sleeps 11 hours a night, sleeps in a toddler bed, doesn't use bottles or pacifiers anymore (HEAR THAT SIL?! how does your doc not tell you to stop?!) she throws out his weight percentile and then his height - I nearly choked (but not really) because, at 36.75" this boy is in the 97th percentile!!
       (this chart seems to register just under 95th %-tile... Meh - let's say between 95th and 97th...)

Like E pointed out, that means if there is 100 kids in the room his age, only THREE (to five lol) will be taller than Button!

Three stickers later (Elmo, dinosaur and truck - Elmo won for the coveted shirt spot!) and we headed out to pick up dinner at our local (and my favored) Noodles & Company, shaking our heads and laughing, muttering to ourselves, "97th percentile?!"

*all statistics according to the CDC Birth to 36 Months: Boys Growth Chart

Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Humpitty Bumpitty...

Happy HumpDayBumpDay!

Also- since it's Wednesday, let's do a Reading Challenge update!

Last total book count: 49 books read, 39 books from the Challenge List
New total book count: 58 books read, 43 books from the Challenge List

(Holy moly - only 7 books left to read!!)

Jumping right to where we left off:

#50. Finders Keepers by Sean Costello     N/A category    (fin 8/6/15)
One of those books I was sitting at lunch, bored, and began reading via my phone app - and actually pretty good! It chases a lottery ticket ($10million winner!) around and around as murder and mayhem are committed by those wanting the ticket for themselves... a light read, but well written!

#51. Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer    #19/50: A book based on a true story    (fin 8/6/15)
This is a movie I actually saw first, starring Emile Hirsch.  An article was first written for Outside Magazine by Krakauer shortly after the body of Christopher McCandless was discovered in a bus in the Alaskan wilderness, and the article developed into this book.  It leads us all into the wilderness with McCandless, as he traveled through the U.S. on his journey, meeting a number of people along the way (interviews with them are included in the book!)  A great read!

#52. The Christmas Train by David Baldacci    #45/50: A book set during Christmas     (fin 8/10/15)
I've read David Baldacci before and liked his style of writing, so this book won out over guaranteed-to-be-cheesy Debbie Macomber and other Christmas books... A man, after a lifetime of dangerous combat-zone reporting, is set to take The Capital Limited from D.C. to Chicago, followed by The Southview Chief on into L.A. (He had recently been banned from airline travel for two years after an interesting altercation with security at LaGuardia Airport!)
It set up like a Woody Allen comedy, but there was still romance, and mystery (a thief on board!) and danger (record-breaking snow-storm to be traveled through)
I enjoyed reading!

#53. Pretty Baby by Mary Kubrica    #20/50: A book at the bottom of your to-read list   (fin 8/11/15)
I went literal with this category (I had first interpreted it as a book you totally didn't want to read, which didn't really make sense) so I instead pulled the most recently added book from my to-read list (at the literal bottom!)
(This was also a book I read a review for on this blog and literally the same day began reading it!)
I will put out a *TriggerWarning* as the main character, a woman who takes in a homeless girl and her infant, is still basically suffering from PTSD from an abortion she had years prior after a cervical/uterine cancer diagnosis, in order to save her own life... A very interesting read, if you're able to handle the trigger - I'd definitely recommend!

(#54 - 57) The Last Survivor Series by Susan Beth Pfeffer   #32/50: A trilogy
      #54. Life As We Knew It   (fin 8/13/15)
          Book Number One (in a four-part series - so not a trilogy, but close... lol) follows a teenage girl, diary-style, as the world undergoes radical natural changes: an asteroid strikes the moon, knocking it closer to the earth and setting off changes in the tidal cycle that wreak havoc on the world (tsunamis, flooding, volcanic eruptions, ash clouds, temperature changes)
     #55. The Dead and Gone   (fin 8/14/15)
          Book Number Two finds the readers going through the asteroid strike and whole world-ending thing again, but this time from the perspective of a highschool junior boy living in N.Y.C. We get to see a bit more of the global impacts and happenings, as he navigates the new world with his two younger sisters.
     #56. This World We Live In   (fin 8/16/15)
          Book Number Three catches up with the teenage girl from Book One, but approximately one year after The Event, as she (and family members) have adjusted (somewhat) to the new normal in their PA neighborhood.
     #57. Shade of the Moon   (fin 8/17/15)
          Book Number Four follows all of the characters, as they are now four years past The Event, and are living in a new "enclave" - a secure caste-based community rigidly monitored and maintained.
As you can see, I read through these books pretty quickly - not because they were quick reads, but because I couldn't put them down (I did not get as much work done as I should those days, instead choosing to read lol)
I think it's a really interesting post-apocalyptic story because it's a story not quite hit on yet - we've all (hopefully!) seen Armageddon, or we jump to The Hunger Games and see what the world's like decades after whatever happened.  This is a refreshing non-zombie/plague/virus-related tale! Highly recommended!

#58. Remember When #2 by T. Torrest    N/A category   (fin 8/15/15)
This series was one I loved when I read the first book (reviewed here) and became sad when I couldn't find the (ahem free) book anywhere to download... I finally bit the bullet and paid for the 2nd book (another day I was probably dying to read something and only had my phone on me)
A fun read, great steamy sex scenes (that aren't actually cheesy at all...) (and now I'm in the middle of reading the final Remember When #3!)

I'm also currently reading (when not at my desk for Remember When #3) a book called The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood - I'll have to be careful, I began it when very distracted last night and it's a book that needs full attention (but seems very good so far!)

Monday, August 17, 2015

a love letter to Blogger...

Dear Blogger:

I can still remember, two years and three months ago, sitting down at the computer - one week post-MMC + D&C - trying to find an outlet for the thoughts I used to so regularly pen into an old-fashioned notebook (mostly in highschool - boy are those fun to look back and re-read! I was so boy crazy!!!)

And somehow, of all the blogging platforms and sites, I stumbled upon you, Blogger.  It must have been the clean format, the easy app available, and the fact that you connected to an existing Google account (oh modern technology! I used to pick journals/diaries based on how strong the lock was, or how pretty the cover!)

I've seen/read of bloggers who print and bind pages and pages of blog entries, so they can have a tangible journal to hold, to re-read and reminisce.  While I would definitely want to review and edit some entries before-hand (I don't think making fun of fBFF's fat elbow dimples warrants a page in the book - in case anyone else were to read!), it's definitely something I've considered doing - especially as I sometimes think, technology isn't fool-proof, what if something big happens and I lose two years and three months' worth of thoughts and emotions and happenings?!
 (and then sometimes I shake my head, like any Generation Z'er, and think, silly me - the internet is infallible!)

And Blogger, even in addition to providing me a place to write my heart out, you've also provided a community that I've discovered over the past few years - other bloggers!!! (even the ones that don't - gasp - use your platform!)

If I hadn't ever created a blog, I would never have found sites like TheStirrupQueens - an incredible resource for basically everything pregnancy- and loss- and infertility- and adoption- and surrogacy-related.  (And I mean everything - check out the left-hand sidebar on her page! DAMN IMPRESSIVE!)
She also hosts this fabulous thing called (for short) ICLW - which stands for IComLeaveWe - which even then stands for: International Comment Leaving Week, which (according to that first page describing it) began in 2008.  It's basically bloggers, reaching out to other bloggers in an intense comment-leaving-week... and it's where I've both discovered some great blogs, as well as been discovered by other great bloggers!
(***UPDATE! sadly - as I realized that the most recent month listed on mel's homepage was June 2015, I discovered that ICLW is being, at the moment, retired... I honestly wondered about its future when the June list was only 10 blogs, and in the past it averaged 25, and I always tried to make it in the first 10 (listed by date they signed up for ICLW) because I worried no one ever checked down at number 24 on the list... Thank you Mel, for hosting it as long as you did!)

Some great bloggers I discovered through community forums with that great little link in their signature, "my blog."  One of these is the blogger I call Wease (find her awesome blog here!)

Just a few days into my own blogging adventure, I discovered hers - and that she had experienced the same loss I had just gone through! It began with commenting on each other's blogs, continued on with emails and hours spent chatting online, and after an epic visit TWO years (TWO YEARS?!) ago, we became IRL besties!
(She is also totally my mid-west doppleganger!)
Unless vacations have us away from our work desks, there's rarely a day that goes by without us chatting - about our two-year-old boys (can you believe that?! born just three days apart!!), and about what's going on at our respective jobs, and about TTCAL the second round (TFAS) and about being PGAL again (yup!! we're both pregnant again together! due just 4 weeks apart!) There is nothing off-limits for us (or TMI!)

Another fabulous blogger-friend I've recently made is Krystal - mom of two angel boys and a brand new baby girl (well, um - 6-months-old brand new!)  And for people wondering about these "friendships" and "well, really - how well can you become friends/close with someone online?! What about like, The Craigslist Killer?!"
It's something that really is hard to explain, until you experience the drawing together of an online community in support of loss-moms, you may not understand it - but it is so real, and genuine...
we mail each other gifts - Krystal recently sent Baby Girl her first one!
An adorable sleeper (fox-feet! ZOMG!) 
a softer-than-soft sleep sack
and a more-precious-than-imaginable book...

About that book... Krystal's precious baby boys, Connor & Benjamin, were born on January 10th, 2014 - at only 22 1/2 weeks gestation - too early for survival - from an infection called chorioamnionitis
The book Snuggle Puppy is a book that Connor & Benjamin have - and it means so much to me that Krystal wanted Baby Girl to have a copy of this book - I'll definitely be thinking of Krystal's sweet boys each and every time we read this...

That's the closeness and friendship you get through online communities like the one Blogger has opened up to me...

So, in addition to a big thank you to Krystal for the great gifts! - a big thank you, and "I LOVE YOU!" to Blogger - without you, I (we) wouldn't be here today and that definitely seems like a lonely place to be!


an adoring fan/blogger/blog-reader

Friday, August 14, 2015

( EX ) BIL update - because...

Well I completely forgot I'd "told" you guys about the saga/drama with BIL asking for a divorce, but I did tell you - and there's an update due, which is important to share because then I have to "tell you" about the really weird dream I had with him in it the other night...

But first thing's first, the update:
I think the last word was that he had asked for a divorce, had just moved out of their apartment, and had SIL thinking she caused it - that she hadn't responded well enough when he said "I'm not happy" (I'm not sure he ever actually said that to her) and that she just wasn't able to provide the level of support and love and affection he apparently needed.

Well - that's all complete and utter bullshit.  How do I know, you ask?

Because a week after he walked out, lo and behold (through a friend of a friend of a cousin) it was discovered that he'd been seeing another woman.

Had been seeing her for at least a few weeks before he ever walked out...

And had moved in with her nearly immediately, had already been on an Italian vacation with her (days after leaving SIL), etc.

The douche-baggery just kept coming - SIL won't go after alimony (she'd be entitled to about $1,700/month for 2 years) because she doesn't want to "drag everything [personal life and details] through the courts" so he got off lucky on that count.  But the car he'd purchased while they were married was paid for ($8,000 deposit) from their joint account, and so - something like - he owed her $4,000 for the vehicle in the division of assets.

He (apparently) bitched about the cost of switching the title to just his name ("I had to spend like, $4K to [do that] and now I gotta pay you [SIL] $4K - it's not really fair, I don't have the family you do to support me!")


Whose fucking fault is that?!??!?!?
(***That he voluntarily walked away from a "built-in" family, not that he had no living family relatives...)

anyways - so, level 9 douche bag.  Has been spotted out and about with new girl, traveling with her, hearts out their asses, etc.

And then I had a dream with him in it earlier this week - I mean, a dream with him in it - we were "together" somehow, and had sex in the dream...
(a little backstory - he's a decently attractive guy, but his personality - or what we thought we knew of his personality - made him more attractive, overall - so I guess it's not crazy that it was him in the dream, but - he was is such an asshole!!!!!)

From what I remember, it was pretty good sex too (it's been a few days...)


Monday, August 10, 2015

Another "Half-Baked" post!!!

About 2 years and 5 months ago, we were half-baked with Big Boy Button...

And yesterday we were half-baked with his baby sister!!

  • Gulps down several ounces of amniotic fluid every day, both for nutrition and to practice swallowing and digesting
  • She's got working taste buds!
  • (and yet Baby Girl is still just "Baby Girl" - still working on a name!)
  • Mommy:
  • Increased blood flow is making the pelvic area extra-sensitive
  • The weight gain has just barely begun
  • The libido is resurging (oh really?! I've yet to see that! lol)
  • Shortness of breath. As your uterus expands, it pushes against your lungs.
  • Vaginal discharge. You can expect this to keep increasing until delivery. (great. more changing underwear midday and thinking I've "leaked")


Best Moments This Week: Seeing baby girl again this morning!!!

 (profile pic makes me wonder/nervous if she's got the [Family] nose from Eric's grandfather's side.... eeek!)

(And she is 100% confirmed, yes a girl!)


Total Weight Gain: Just over 10 lbs, and baby girl measures 13oz as of this morning's anatomy scan!

Maternity Clothes: totally in (well, not quite totally - maxi skirts are still a go, as well as a few regular flowy tanks...)

Symptoms: none really, except kicks! =)

Sleep: a night here and there randomly I'll crash early on the couch, otherwise getting decent sleep (around rolling side to side and readjusting my pillow...)

Food Cravings: nothing really crazy - it can change hour to hour...

Anything making you queasy or sick:  No

Movement: Lots!! It was so fun to watch her kick and jump and pop on the ultrasound screen this morning and feel it at the same time!

Stretch Marks: Still just ones I had on my hips from highschool...

Gender: Baby Girl!!

Labour Signs: Too early. (was worried I was leaking fluid the last week or so, but nope - just lovely pregnancy discharge (I hate that word) and amniotic fluid levels looked great this morning!

Belly Button In or Out?: In (never turned out last time either)

Wedding Rings on or off?: On

Happy or Moody?: Happy!! I kept thinking, "thank you God!" as each measurement came back "Beautiful" (according to doc) or healthy this morning - kidneys! stomach! bladder (that the tech could see slowly filled during the scan, so she's swallowing fluid great!) four-chambered heart! umbilical cord and flow (and connection at her and placenta) looked great!
and ten fingers and toes!

Purchases for baby: Yea, I think I mentioned the baby legging splurge I went on last Friday =)

Purchases for Momma: Nothing recently - got some great tanks from SIL on Friday for my birthday!

Miss Anything?: Still would love a cold frozen something... although maybe it's not as bad, I didn't even get anything virgin when we were out for my birthday dinner on Saturday night! The raspberry lemonade tasted fabulous as is!

Looking forward to: More regular kicks - I think the bigger she gets, the better E can feel them from the outside (right now she likes to get kicking when I lay down directly on my side... although she was a mover & shaker this morning!)

Until (of course) we tried to get a good facial 3D shot, and baby girl just decided to curl up on the placenta and get all cuddly & cozy!

Friday, August 7, 2015

T-minus 1.... ZERO!!!!

Thursday (T-minus 1...)
Yesterday I decided to somewhat "Treat" myself - and when I say that I mean I was supposed to go out to MIL's after work to pick up Button (E had a dentist appointment in a nearby town at 4:45) and then decided, E will probably be out of his appointment and by his mom's around the same time I would arrive after getting out of work and driving over there...
so I asked him if he'd mind grabbing Button while I went home and got some personal time in on the elliptical (and with some free weights).  Exciting, right?! =) (I did get to read my book while working out!)
Then E had a hockey game that he had to leave at 7:30 for, so it was Button and I for a video-chat session with Grandma and Grandpa (my parents) and they got to see him goof off and the lil' baby bump (apparently they recently video-chatted with SIL and she's huge already...) and then bathtime and bed.
So, the night before I turned 30 - I got to work out (and relished in it) and video chat with my parents!

Friday (THE BIG DAY!!!!!)

As of 7:30am this morning, I am now officially 30 (GAH! OMFG! NO MORE TWENTIES! EEEEEEK IT FEELS SO WEIRD SAYING THAT! (wait, how does this go? are all of those supposed to be hashtagged??))
(I think at 7:15 when our alarms started going off and E rolled over and said "Happy Birthday babe" I even said back to him, "I'm still 29 for another 15 minutes...")

He got up and made me a great breakfast - french toast, sausage, orange slices - and put a candle in the french toast.  Too bad (for once) Button had no interest in singing "Happy Birthday" and in fact "blew raspberries" at me (ok, I'll admit it - he spit - even he knows it's called spitting...) and then cried when I blew out my candle because he had wanted to help (but hadn't stopped spitting yet) - #assholeparent.

E is also working from home today (which means he better have the house cleaned up!) because his whole family is coming over tonight for dinner, cake & coffee (and presents!)

And tomorrow?

Our family celebration day - we'll go (the three - well, four of us) to South Street Seaport and cavort and have fun and eat dinner!

If only I didn't have pesky work today... (which was slightly unavoidable, with immediate supervisor being on vacation all next week and loose ends she and I needed to tie up before her vaca...)
((I also spent some birthday time this morning shopping for baby girl... Leggings... Lots of Leggings...))
(and notice the price? no, I did not spend $90 on leggings, I in fact spent $24.99... thanks to the spammy email offers of "5 FREE BABY LEGGINGS!" (which they were!) and then each additional pair was $2... and then S&H was $16. lol but still! $24.99 for NINE pairs of baby leggings..... SWOON!)