Tuesday, October 3, 2017

I'm Learning "I'm Sorry..."

I'm learning (veeeeeh-ry slowly...) to say I'm sorry - and because it's easier (than with my husband - maybe I'll grow to that in a few MORE YEARS), I've started with my four-year-old.

I mean, how many times a week do I try to instill manners and kindness?

"What do you say?? (thank you)"

"I just WATCHED you smack your sister on the head! Tell her you're sorry!"

"I know it was an accident you spilled your entire cup of milk... just say, sorry mom and help me clean it up..."

Yet yesterday morning, when it was one of those days - you know, the kind where at daycare drop off the kids possibly still have puffy eyes from their crying jags because they didn't want that jacket, and you might have puffy eyes because you couldn't find your car keys (or the spare car keys...) and you just roll your eyes at the other moms and say, "we're having a rough morning..." and the other moms chuckle because they've been there, we've all been there - the kids can be assholes.

Except I was the asshole yesterday.

 Probably thanks to a weekend that burned too much of a battery that didn't get enough of a recharge Sunday night - I was RAGEY.

Didn't care that Button didn't want that red jacket hanging on the rack, he wanted the other red jacket (WHICH WAS NOWHERE TO BE FOUND).

Didn't care that Ms. Mack can't physically put her own socks on yet, still got pissed that I had to do it for them both.

Didn't care that it wasn't anyone's fault but MINE that I couldn't find my car keys, still let out a banshee wail while upstairs... came down the stairs to two silent kids just staring at me...

I was a bit hoarse by the time I told Button to just PUT ON THAT JACKET and if the RIGHT red jacket was in my car, we'd switch before getting to daycare. (Also my allergies were making me sneeze ten times a minute and my eyes itch, and I was trying so hard not to rub off/smear eye makeup before work... so I was also hoarse from that.   But also. because I yelled.)

And we rode silently to daycare (for all of the 90 seconds it takes).

And as I was unstrapping Button from his car seat, I slowed down from my MondayMorningHustle leaned in and gave him a quick kiss on his head, told him I loved him, and then gulped.

"I'm sorry I yelled today..."

He nodded and said, "ok, Mom."

And that was it.

I held his hand and carried Ms. Mack and we made our way into daycare, where I didn't roll my eyes at the latest toddler hysterics or little kid antics.

Yesterday was also mine and hubby's 7th wedding anniversary... Maybe there'll be growth for me and I'll learn the I'm Sorry with him in the next seven years.........

Friday, September 29, 2017

I'll just do it all....

So when I have work, and hubby has work, I bring the kids to daycare.
(When I have work, I need to leave the house by 8:35 to drop kids at daycare and be at work by 9am. Hubby has to leave house by approx 7:12am to get to work by 9:30...)
Hubby catches a train (thanks to a recent move to Jersey City for his job. UGH) so he is more tied to a time table than I am.
(sign one that his 'on-time-ness' is more important than me being on time for MY job... -_- )

So when I am off of work (whether a very rare sick day, or playing hookie, or scheduled for xyz appointment) and hubby has work, I bring the kids to daycare.

Which entails getting myself up and presentably dressed even if I didn't have any obligations until later in the day...

So, on days like today - when I have work, and hubby is off (or 'working from home' which means he sits around and has coffee and breakfast and finally signs onto his computer a little after 9:30...) I still bring the kids to daycare.

In the past I've thought, Am I just crazy for not attempting to ask if he would mind bringing the kids - especially on days when we're running late and him bringing the kids means I can get to work ON TIME?!

Well I tried that this morning... hubby works from home today, didn't set an alarm. I must have missed mine, because I wake to hubby telling me, "It's eight-o-clock...." 

So then I mentioned, would he be able to bring Ms. Mack to daycare? (Button spent last night at Nana's house).

he hesitated before finally saying, I guess.

You guess?

I said, "well either that or get her ready and fed in the next TEN MINUTES that I need to leave!

He apparently would rather get her dressed (except he sat so long staring at little girl clothes, apparently befuddled. I mean - PANTS! SHIRT! SHOES AND SOCKS! that I finally had to step in and grab stuff.....) and then pack a breakfast (which I still had to adjust...) and then I was still walking out of the house five minutes late.....



Tuesday, September 26, 2017


I went to play Spotify in the car yesterday on the way home from work...

like, I wanted the soundtracks to Little Mermaid, and Lion King, and Aladdin... going Nostalgic on Monday!

But then I searched for "Old School Disney" and do you know what I found?

playlists with HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL and CAMP ROCK...


I just looked up when HSM came out.... ELEVEN YEARS AGO, you guys...

I guess if I wanted the soundtracks to movies that came out over twenty years ago, I should just accept it and look for:


Wednesday, August 30, 2017

Reasons why I "Selfie"

Yes, I just made "Selfie" a verb...

I was recently pouring through the gazillion pictures I have of Ms. Mack and I (from snapchat, mostly... I mean, when she sees my SIL - the QUEEN of shapchat - Ms. Mack says, "Titi - sno-Chot!")

My husband has made fun of me before, and voices his disgust (yes, it's that strong) that his daughter already has a "selfie complex."   ...  -_-

But - the funny thing is, I don't really post them anywhere!! They're not plastered all over FBook, or even Insta - I maybe post stuff like, once every 8-9 days!

So why take all those photos and selfies (pictures AND videos) if not to SHOW OFF TO THE WORLD?!  (/endSarcasm)

There's some scientific thing going on with our brains that prevents us from remembering every.thing.
According to this site, 'memory is a "lossy" form (think jpeg) where certain features we believe are key are noted, and details are filled in as needed...'

In other words, a certain event (say, the pediatric orthopedic appointment when Ms. Mack got her permanent cast put on after BREAKING HER ARM FRIDAY NIGHT) gets logged with the most important details: the fact that we picked a pink cast with purple glitter, and the fact that yes, both the radius and the ulna were broken, and despite that - the fact that the cast only needed to stay on for 2.5 weeks (was he sure?! can we leave it on for an extra week just to be safe?!)

The rest of the details, upon trying to recall the day in five or ten years, would be just filled in at the moment - maybe we'd 'remember' that E played with a MinnieMouse doll to keep Ms. Mack entertained (when it was in fact an Elmo doll) or we'd 'remember' that we had to wait 30 minutes in the waiting room (when really it was over 45 minutes... partly our fault because we showed up 20 minutes early to the appointment....)

So that's Reason #1 for the pictures (selfies, or otherwise)
I mean, without these important photos, we might have eventually 'remembered' that we got a PURPLE cast with PINK glitter...
(good thing we got that straightened out for memory's sake...)

The scientific community also believes it's just basically damn near IMPOSSIBLE for a brain to remember evertyhing... the Quora site again states: If we did remember everything, we would likely drown in a sea of detail and be less effective.
Also (and Reason #2) sometimes the videos or pictures from a certain moment bring you so fully back to the emotions of that second...
hello, sweet napping baby-even-though-you're-starting-toddler-room-at-daycare-WAAAAAAH!

or the feelings you had during those few minutes:
fun park day, Button learned the game of TAG!

And this way with these memories recorded, you don't need your brain to remember on its own the small details that would overflow and overwhelm your system - you just gaze at those pictures, or watch that video (over and over and over and over....)

(well, maybe not that video you made with Mom and Grandma while in the backseat of a van, where - ahem - there may have been mobile-drinking, which definitely led to crazy cranking of volume to rock out to Jimmy Buffet's Fruitcakes in preparation for a talent show at the family reunion in Southern California... AHEM)

In other words, I take too many pictures to ever catch up and post here, so you're welcome for not inundating you with them; and in other news - Ms. Mack broke her arm Friday night, which E actually photographically documented because, alas - I was at home with Button while E and MIL took Ms. Mack to the urgent care clinic where they splinted her arm until her pediatric orthopedist appointment that we had Monday where the pink glitter cast made its debut (THAT appointment has absolutely zero pictures. IRONY!)

 (also. in more absolutely random news, I just noticed my work computer tower still had the protective plastic layer... love when that happens, you peel it off and it's BRAND NEW AGAIN!)

Thursday, August 17, 2017


so.... I've done it again....

Another idea, another project, but a new business!!!

It all started with LuLa(roe!) and eventually, it just got overpriced - $35 for a plain tunic top??

So - a new boutique was created:

Business page HERE: https://www.facebook.com/KateAndCoterie/

Facebook group HERE: https://www.facebook.com/groups/KateAndCoterie/

I would love if you joined our group and shared with your friends!!

(giveaway going on!)

Wednesday, August 9, 2017

Here it comes.... VOMIT OF THE BRAIN!

Monday was my birthday...

I took Tuesday off, got my hair cut (first in 9 months) and colored (first in 5+ years...) I really appreciate that I don't have any grays (YET) to worry about, but sometimes a gal just needs some freshening up... I'm now a california bleach-blond surfer-girl.


I've gone "over to the dark side," as my co-worker puts it: I got Botox.

Those damn 11's...

another day or two until the effects will be visible, and meanwhile I'm just scrunching up and frowning into the mirror to check for results...

The summer's been busy, and I'm usually glad I just work year-round because then I don't have any back-to-work-panic come now (August); and I had two week-long vacations, but I could have used some more days off!

I did get an overnight trip in with some mom friends - we went down the shore on a gorgeous Saturday, got to beach it (uninterrupted - no "you need more sunblock, come here! Hey, STOP eating sand! Don't go running off to the water!!! DON'T EAT THAT CIGARETTE BUTT!!!")
Just nice calm beach reading and chatting.  And then we were basically too tired to party - a late dinner out on the boardwalk, a noble attempt at barhopping (one bar. one drink each.) and we headed back to the house for some mom-fun: vaping and coloring (LMAO)

We spent a Saturday with the family at a college graduation party up in Connecticut (kids did great on the 2-hour carride!)

We BBQ'd at the in-laws for Father's Day:

Ms. Mack had her 18-month appointment (is it awful? I don't remember her measurements... this is what I get for blogging about it so late....maybe 28lbs? maybe? but 50th for weight, and 50th for height! perfect girl!)

My (adopted) SIL graduated high-school (we only found out she'd be walking like, two days before ceremonies!! ugh)
(bee-tee-dubs: that jumper? was spotted with sweat so bad.... it was so warm that day... ugh)

We made it down the shore (finally!) as a family for the first time this summer:

I grew basil - quite successfully, in fact. (and from seed! ok - I'll admit, E did the in-doors germinating...)
My goal for my basil (and spearmint!) was to make delicious watermelon-basil and strawberry drinks like I've seen and tried from fancy drink menus.
My watermlon-basil aperitif was definitely refreshing and delish!

We spent a day at a lake, watching dark clouds get closer and closer until they broken open right over us, then quickly blew back out leaving sun for 10-15 minutes before returning with a vengeance, driving us to the movie theaters for the rest of the day...

which is when Button had his FIRST EVER MOVIE THEATER EXPERIENCE! (I mean, by default, Ms. Mack had hers too, but it's more exciting for Button - he was all, "I want to buy the ticket! I want to hand the ticket to the guy! I want to get popcorn!")
We saw Despicable Me 3 - he loved it, she only moved into my lap with 30 minutes left where she played with toys and ate graham crackers.

We rounded out the first half of July with watermelon and waterplay on warm sunny days:

Second Session:

And of course, let's not forget the day I had work, E was off, and the daycare was closed. So I get home, we're doing dinner (grilling burgers) and while Ms. is in my lap, I start noticing SHIT (figuratively) IN HER HAIR... I ask E - "what do you guys do today?!" and he's all, shrug - "McDonald's, the play place, a store..."

of course I'm all, "It's LICE!! WHAT DO WE DO?! WE HAVE TO FLEA-BOMB THE ENTIRE HOUSE!! BLEACH EVERYTHING!!!!!" and even started making rounds, stripping both kids' beds of sheets and their million stuffed animals, grabbing hats they'd worn that day, ANY AND ALL CLOTHING that was sitting out in their room!

And then E says - "OH! I forgot!! We went to the lake today.... and Button was throwing dirt at Ms. Mack...."

Tuesday, August 1, 2017


so this Mother's Day, after hearing me speak about finding this awesome FamilySearch.org website and tracking back GENERATIONS upon GENERATIONS to finally a birth (in the 1700's!) in somewhere other than the United States (Britain!)

Well - he thought he'd do a great gift-giving job and spend close to $70 on a kit from 23AndMe (can you hear my sarcasm?) because the "DNA testing" revealed basically what I found for free on this FamilySearch website: that I'm 58.8% British/Irish, 10% Scandanavian, and the rest a general mix of European....


So I've been working more on entering family tree information onto FamilySearch.org (after our great family reunion in California - 340+ people on the tree, more than HALF who showed up for the three-day get-together!)

I've been working off of a .pdf format of that GIANT family tree for entering information, and a little more than halfway through, wondered/realized - I hadn't seen any stillbirths or miscarriages marked - did family members just brush them aside and ignore them for the family tree?

As I wondered, I came across the first one:
             [JOHN JACOB JINGLEHEIM.] was born on 13 Oct 2001 in San Antonio, TX. He died on 13 Oct 2001 in San Antonio, TX.

That family's next baby? A little girl named [FirstName] FAITH [LastName], and was born 27 Aug 2002 - barely 10 months after their first baby boy...

Just two families later (out of 100's) - again a first born son:
        [JackSprat] was born on 11 Apr 2003 in Washington, D.C. He died on 04 May 2003.
Less than a month old... But another boy, and a girl that followed in 2 year increments..

AGAIN - just two or three families later:
      [JohnSmith] was born on 04 Aug 2002 in Reno, Nevada. He died on 04 Aug 2002.
And the parents - married in 2000, baby born - and died - in 2002, divorced by 2004...

Just numbers, dates and names - yet so much story in the facts....

I still am moved every time I read the little blurb anchored on the left side of this page, and the last family (I still have 3 more pages of the family tree....) made me think of it...
         Married: April 2000
         Baby Born, and Died: Aug 2002
         Love Story Ends:  Dec 2004