From the other side...

...of Christmas! I finished my shopping just SUNDAY, and finished wrapping on CHRISTMAS DAY.
I rocked this year...

And speaking of rocking, I was on a roll...
I did \/ THIS \/ to my phone while at a dealership on Saturday looking for a car-seat- and snow-friendly vehicle...

After 3 years of dropping this sucker right and left - from down low and up high, on brick, tile, hardwood and asphalt - it finally shattered...

And good timing - even though I basically refrained from peeking into E's amazon shopping cart the other day, I was sure I had seen a white Samsun phone of some sort...

So I was slightly confused when he saw what happened and suggested we go immediately to Verizon to get my new phone... hmmm so maybe I DIDN'T see Samsung...

but I had the "white" part correct for his shopping cart - hubby got me a new (white) Glow-Lite Nook!!

My old nook, the original just-black-and-white for-reading-only version, basically came with me EVERYWHERE... to work for lunch time, to the beach, on vacations, to bed - it even got packed in my hospital bag back in July.  And that thing never got turned off - I probably used it at least twice a day.  Until Benjamin was born... and then about 2 weeks or so after we got home from the hospital, I discovered my Nook wouldn't turn on... I was Sad Panda.

so hubby replacing it was AWESOME - and the glowlite is AWESOME because now the entire outlet on my side of the bed is used for cell phone charger and baby monitor, which means my pretty bed-side lamp is just that - a pretty decoration...

Anyways - after a late Christmas Eve at NJGrandma's house full of cousins and food and games and loud family (the latter being caused by the previous...) where Ben wore his new hat made by TexasGrandma -

 Christmas Day got a slow start while we all lounged in bed: 

This was followed by us opening Ben's presents for him (the ones we JUST wrapped the night before... now I'm not a bah-humbug, but really??  A waste of wrapping when all he wanted to do was EAT the paper, not see what was underneath it...)

While he was napping, we made our annual Apple Pie (a favorite that is always requested by E's dad) and a new recipe: Zuccini and cheese squares (came out really good! will maybe post recipe if anyone's interested!)

Of course, I'm at work today (and all of tomorrow - booooooo) and all my good Christmas-Day pictures of Ben eating wrapping paper at his NJGrandma's house are all on my camera, and I will hopefully get them posted soon (as well as his 5-month pictures that I just realized are overdue... maybe by 6 months I'll get them up. ha)

And a not-at-the-time-but-now-kinda-funny story when we got home after midnight Christmas Eve:

I was changing Ben's diaper before putting him back to bed, and that kid squirted himself (peed) right in the face... And then, after slapping a diaper/wipe/whatever was handy over his little fountain, just when I thought it was safe to finish his Desitin (damn diaper rash) and get a new diaper for him, he squired AGAIN - this time soaking his sleeper and onesie from belly button to chin - MERRY CHRISTMAS MOMMY!

And this, it makes me want to quit my job, this is Daddy Day-Care this week while E brags that he's off stays home with Ben:

Farewell

An Ode to MyMedela:

You've been my constant companion for the past few months, always there for me no matter what time of day (actually, literally around the clock... I think you made yourself TOO availble, note for future relationships!)

I can't tell you how many late nights were spent here, cruising F.acebook together...
No matter where I was, there you were right beside me (whether I wanted you or not! - another note, don't be so clingy next time!)

You were there for Dee's wedding (yes, you were fancy too - tucked into a nice black bag...)

You came along to Seattle (ok, you didn't see Post Alley, but you were there in spirit! And you and I got together just mere hours after this!  Possibly in the car on the way home, now that I think about it...)

 

You were even there on Thanksgiving to see all the family!

You came along on date nights, for a quick feel-up during the carrides home...
You came along to Ben's baptism, and to my office (and my administrator's office, and the asst director's office...)
You came along on weekend jaunts to Seaside Heights...
You came along on a long drive to Massachusetts, and a day in NYC (including Central Park - I did make it back to Muffin's apt before you and I had our "Date"...)
You even got to go where no male has gone before - Girls' Night! (That was special.  Sitting in the kitchen with three of my girlfriends, sucking down wine while you sucked down milk...)

Then just a few days ago, it was time to pack up and part ways:

I think it was healthiest for you to move on...

After a trip to the local pharmacy, where we first met all those 5 months ago, there's a  hole where you used to be...

I willlll

Re-meeeeeember

Youuuuuuuuuu

I won't tell you that you've already been replaced by Ben's new Oscar the Owl humidifier...
and I won't tell you how FREE I feel now that you're gone!
I had also forgotten about all the non-nursing bras I own - GREY with LACE! Light Pink! Black Lace! Polka Dots! (Note to future self - don't wear that last one under a white shirt... To work...)

While I wish you all the best with future endeavors, I hope to never see your sucky-face again! (Get it? SUCKY?!  ... lol)

Nah Nah Nah Naaaaah

Nah Nah NAH NAAAAAH

HEEEE- EEEEY,

GOOD BYE!

P.S. - the friend Dee who was wedding-crashed by a pump? 

She's pregnant (squeeeeeeeee!) after a shitty past few years (ok, excluding  her wedding!)  

She just hit 5 years remission after a breast cancer diagnosis at 25, followed by chemo, radiation and a double mastectomy... So she's ready for a smooth pregnany - send some T&Ps for a great NT scan for her today!!

Welcome, welcome!

A quick welcome, as I wait in the car while hubby returns The Pump (more on that later, promise) to the ICLWers!

(UPDATED) Thanks for your patience - I have been running around all over the northern part of the state getting errands done today!

WELCOME to you ICLWers! I participated for a few months over a year ago, before conceiving. And then felt as if I shouldn't participate, being a PgAL blog. And then didn't feel comfortable participating as a SAL (success-after-loss) blog...

I hope the tags from the great Stirrup-Queen's list was clear enough that if you are here, you are comfortable reading a first-time-motherhood blog...

Anyways - as you can probably figure, I got pregnant almost 9 months after coming off BCP in May 2011, only to discover a missed miscarriage at what would have been 12 weeks in May of 2012...

We were so incredibly lucky to get pregnant again a few months later (5 months and 26 days, not that I was counting or anything. HA) and now have a five-month-old little boy named Benjamin!

(Ben at birth, and Ben last month on a flight to Seattle!)

So - welcome to the Buggy List -
what started as a place to tell of things I wanted to do during the enforced TTA (trying-to-avoid) time immediately following the MMC:
(hot yoga! lots of new martinis! Big scary rollercoasters! Paddleboarding! Basically, everything you can't do while pregnant...)
And then it became a list of things to do (while pregnant) before baby comes: taking an online photography class, taking care of my skin via a visit to the dermatologist (during which they found a mole that needed to be removed!), a big bathroom remodel (for which I still have yet to post the After pictures. It was done in July... aiy!)
Now it's just craziness - hopefully good humor (wait til you see my Ode to Pump later this week! hopefully it's as humorous as I'm building it up to be anyways...) and just life: entertaining and ever after!

Chrismas Tidings!

Somehow, I was more organized in getting Christmas cards out this year than Christmases before Ben arrived... I may be unknowingly walking around with spit-up down my arm (true story) but I got my Christmas cards out!

Now to just finish Christmas shopping... YES, I'm AWARE I have less than a week lol

Love, Mom and Dad?!

So, I usually have all of my Christmas shopping, and wrapping, done by now.

Ok, I usually have it done by Thanksgiving...

But this year - I'm not even halfway done! eeeeek!!

Amazon has become my new best friend...

I was wrapping gifts for Ben last night, and wrote on the tag:
Love, Mom & Dad

oh wow. It was so surreal to be signing that, even though I realized right after I did, that 1 - he can't read it and 2 - he won't even know really what he's opening, aside from the fact that it's colorful and noisy...
And I am almost on the Naughty List this year! E had left my laptop (weirdly enough) signed into his Amazon account... with 3 items in the cart...
And I may or may not have hovered over it thinking, hmmm - wonder what's in here!
And then, last minute, realized I did NOT want to ruin any surprises, and I quickly logged out of his account! (I may or may not have seen a glimpse of something from Samsung... lol)
So proud of myself...
And how about not proud of this confession - we had a winter storm here Saturday night, and we decided earlier on that day to head to IL's and stay the night... and one of the reasons I agreed to that was because then E couldn't bug/ask me for sex when we went to bed (you know, sleeping out in the living room on a pull-out couch... where he proceeded to hog the entire damn thing all night.)

This is a sheepish face-palm...

He and I are both hoping that with The Era of the Pump coming to a close, my libido correspondingly increases...

...of no sex

(speaking of Era of Pump ending - I forgot flanges when we went to ILs, and went 24+ hours without pumping.)
*well, I hand-expressed some during a hot bath that night...
1. IL's have a jacuzzi tub - awesome sauce
2. I was basically a cow - I got almost 2 oz just from, well, basically MILKING myself...

I pumped when we got home yesterday afternoon, and haven't pumped since. 

And am nowhere near engorged.

This is really happening....

Sometimes...

...I put my fingers, um - in my armpits, and then I smell them like THISSSSSSSSSSS"

oh sorry, wrong line...

true story - sometimes I shake my ta-tas:

(of course, I'm a girl... and I don't have this shirt.)

Unfortunately.

Anyways - sometimes I shake my ta-tas and sing:
           "maaaaaai MILKSHAKE brings all the boys to the yard!"

(Get it? My MILK-shake?!)
I crack myself up...

**Also, do NOT try to google Boob-Shaking GIFs.  Unless you're into that kinda thing...


But those milk-shake days are coming to a close, sadly...


So I think I really had PPA during the first few months - the nursing, the lack of weight gain, the switch to EPing, the panic over my supply and pumping enough, the fanatic approach to building a freezer stash (I caught myself nearly shorting a bottle for Ben once so I would have 1 oz to add to the freezer. SERIOUSLY?!)
But the day has come - I've been winding down my freezer stash over the last couple of days...
OH god I'm going to reveal how big of a nerd I am and admit that I figured out a mathematic formula to calculate how long the stash would last, and how many days I could spend at each "weaning stage" - like 3oz of BM per bottle, then 2.5oz, then 2oz and so on... (Yes. I really did sit down one night and figure out a formula.)

I can't tell you how strange it feels, after the weeks of stashing and stocking every 1/2 oz I could to build up the freezer stash, only to pull bag after bag lately and know that very soon, I will grab the very last bag of frozen breast milk.
And I will hook up to the pump for the very last time, and after washing them for the LAST TIME, I will pack up and store all the flanges, membranes, and extra battery packs.
I will bag them up and tuck them in a far, dark, deep corner of our cobwebby attic...

(Ok, I'll really be returning the Medela hospital grade pump to the pharmacy we rented it from, and return the Medela PISA to E's cousin, who I borrowed it from...)

but can I tell you how EXCITED I am to be done with pumping??

During the PPA days, and even to this day still - I was consumed with giving all BM to my baby... because I thought it the absolutely very best for my child?
because I thought formula was full of chemicals and came directly from Satan?

Try answer C:  MOMMY GUILT

You know what, you lucky bitches who had/have an easy time BFing and think to your nasty little Lanolin-loving-selves, man she just didn't try hard enough, and now poor baby has to be filled with chemicals - You know what?
***ETA*** this is only directed at the SMUG, holier-than-thou BF mamas, not just all successful BF mamas. Just to be clear.

I DONE GOOD.

Because you know? My son is fed.  And Happy.

 

AND GUESS WHAT  - this kid sleeps through the night like NOBODY'S business.

(Not rubbing it in faces - *ahem- Wease*)

but if you can't brag about being 100% Boob Juice, you sure can brag about a sleeping baby!

(And a gi-mongous vacation (enjoy Wease!))

Next time on The Buggy List:

Farewell, Pump!

Just a Dried Up Cow...

Yea... Dried up cow, that's me...

We're down to pumping twice a day, and this morning I only got 2oz...

(By the way - I tried finding pictures of "dried up" cows and when google wasn't producing, tried "skinny" cow - DUH forgot about that little brand with this little vixen - and she IS skinny and most likely not producing milk, so we're going with it!)

So Thanksgiving (yes, thanksgiving - I'm catching up and maybe by NewYears' will be current...)

Thanksgiving was great - at E's aunt's house where Ben enjoyed some apple puree:

  

He rocked his adorable turkey hat that SIL got him from Etsy:

Hung out with family (in between courses of stuffing our faces) like his Uncle C

 

and played with his Aunt K:

And stayed entertained by his Baby Einstein take-along-music-or-whatever-its-called (i.e. KeepsBabyQuietToy)

(Can you tell the holidays now revolve around baby?)

*~*~*~*~*

Had my company holiday party last night, which was just what I needed after a large audit at work that require I be in the office hours earlier than normal.  (But long work day + party = ugly black eye shadows this morning...)

we have been caught up in a whirlwind of time, and it's marching on - we have a big cousin dinner this Saturday (during which E's adopted 16 & 17 year old sisters will be babysitting solo for the first time!)

Another holiday party next Wednesday, training sessions at work every other day, car shopping somewhere in there (2-door coupe does not work well with 1 - a carseat, and 2 - the snow.... Remember the stupid snowy driveway?!) for a 4WD or AWD vehicle, as well as nanny-shopping! (I will be officially back in the office 5 days a week any minute - I'm holding out as long as possible! but one of my babysitters has passed her boards - for cytology, whatever the hell that is... and will be leaving us any day, boooooo!)

And there's some big holiday breathing down our necks as well... 

Speaking of - we received a mystery package the other day... from some company I'd never heard of, and upon opening it I discovered we were sent... a block of 5-year cheddar cheese.

That's it. 

No crackers, no sausage, just cheese... with no packing slip or who it was from...

Just a "Merry Christmas, we love you!"

umm.... love you too?!? 

and just cheese?!?!?!

Back and Back - Going a little sdawrdkcaB!

(That's Backwards... cheeky huh?)

Because I'm pretty sure I introduced my friend Dee to you all - we attempted, and then went bridal gown shopping for her last summer, and prepared for leaving Ben with IL's overnight for the first time during her wedding...

Well then she got married! (Ahem - almost three months ago.. WHAT?! I've been busy...)

(And I mooched off of her professional photographer's posing for the day...)


And we left baby overnight for the first time...
(ha - no picture here, but picture me nervously handing off baby and bottles and praying MIL doesn't decide to feed him whatever she decides is best, as opposed to what his mother requests!)

And after pampering, primping, and pumping, mommy got drunk for the first time in a year...

Some of the last shots of the night...

(And in case I didn't mention this before :

I woke up the next morning at the hotel at 7am HUGELY engorged, pumped 7-8 oz that, upon testing, were highly alcoholic and had to be dumped, boooooo....

We slept in a little longer, disposed of our hangovers at breakfast with greasy bacon and coffee, and headed home to relieve the babysitters - namely MIL.

Aaaaaand we walked into the house to Ben having his second bottle in just over 2 hours, after which, when MIL tried to burp him - he violently choked and threw up all over.  AWESOME.)

A little behind...

And no, I'm not saying my "behind" is little.. (quite the opposite actually...)

How about - I'm just now getting 4-month pictures and such posted, and he'll be FIVE months in just 9 days...

at Four Months, likes to sit in his bumbo and watch the doggies:

When pulling himself to sitting with Mommy or Daddy's thumbs, he began pulling all the way up to standing!

Loves Sofie! We received her as a Secret Santa gift and Ben lights up into smiles whenever he sees her!

At his four month doctor's appointment, he measured in the 75th percentile for length - we knew he was a tall boy!  He also rolled over on the table - his first time since he was two weeks old!

 Likes to visit Daddy at work:

Loves reading Curious George with Daddy...
Loves to laugh and babble when he first wakes up in the morning - Mommy likes to listen through the monitor from bed =)
 Loves baths with Mommy (and maybe that's better said "getting baths from mommy" - we don't bathe together... tub's not deep enough! lol)

I'm pretty sure 5 months holds for us Teething!

 Drool, finger-chewing and Tylenol, OH MY!

Nursing Pads: Still Needed!

True story - I woke up two mornings ago... I had decided the night before that I was not really getting engorged at all anymore (pumping sessions are slowly decreasing... and by slowly I mean - I went to three one day and basically two the next - and still am not getting but 3-4oz per pump.. boooooo)

So - wasn't getting engorged and thought I'd sleep sans bra or nursing pads (itty bitty t*tty club equals never needing to sleep in basically WEAR a bra... of course, pre-pregnancy and pre-nursing/pumping days...)

Aaaaaaaand woke up the next morning to a SOAKED T-shirt (like, all the way around to my back from sleeping on my side...) and soaked sheets.... yeesh!

Two weeks ago we visited my brother, wife and new baby in Seattle...

Ben was AMAZE-BALLS on the flights (6 hours!)

(The flight back was VERRRRY interesting, complete with two screaming toddler girls in the row in front of us, and an 8-year old boy who threw tantrums the entire flight and whose mother was very entertaining as she tried to control  dsicipline bribe him...

Cherry on top was him* (the boy, not Ben) throwing up into a ziploc bag upon landing, and when I tried to hand mom some baby wipes to clean up with, she turned to me and said,

"No, my son has to UR-IN-ATE!"


WHUCK?!
















Anyways - so Seattle:

We met my new niece!

 

We went to Pike's Market and saw the Gum Wall in Post Alley!

Not only did we SEE the gum wall, but prior to - we all lined up

in front of an old-fashioned gum-machine and chewed and prepared different 

colors to contribute once we got to the Wall!

Yummy name-sake cupcake:

 

We toured (and drank!) at the Red Hook Brewery:

 (Ben wasn't impressed...)

We wore those babies out in the four days we were there:

Back in the airport ready to fly home:

"Mom are we ready to board yet?"

And being goofy on the flight home: