Battles

Sometimes you just have to pick your battles...

Battle of the Bulge...




Battle of the Bumps...

Battle of the Bees...

First, my good friend Dee and I never made it to the bridal store for White Dress shopping.
 (she gets a little anxious when we call it Bridal Gown shopping...)

We were all prepped and ready with a little celebratory champagne when we arrived and found out that the first store closed an hour before we got there - D'OH!
At the second store, Dee realized an attendant had to help us and she said, "I didn't realize this would be such a big deal, I can't do this yet!"

Soooo - we just went to dinner and proceeded to drink half their menu.

*Begin Battle of the Bulge*

And I have to admit, I've been slacking on hot yoga lately... why bother when its already 100degrees out?!
One night I figured I'd at least get out walking - only to look out the window and see torrential downpour. 

And I was secretly relieved because then I could curl up with my latest Nook novel and a glass of wine and further put off procrastinating on working out.

*Enter Battle of the Bump*

I had started to think lately that I was far enough healed to be capable of hearing about BFF and her successful pregnancy. 

EEERRRHH!!!!!      

WRONG!

E started to tell me how she had been having some pain in her leg because the baby was pressing on her lower back, and all I could think - over and over - was how lucky she was to be at the stage where her baby's big enough to be pushing around stuff in there.  She's starting to feel him/her move around.  And oh god - she's a week or so from finding out the sex.  And it's a downward spiral - I know I can't handle being around that yet.  Just being told by someone else nearly brought me to tears.  

I know I'm only handling the pregnant assistant by ignoring the whole situation.  That system tends to fail when she comes in at noon every other week from a check up appointment (remember her diabeetus??)

Speaking of diaBEEtus (because I have no better segue), E got stung a few nights ago while mowing the lawn.  We think it was a yellow jacket (vs a regular ole honey bee) because his ankle has swollen to grotesque proportions (he calls it his EleFoot) and there's now a rash that looks like bruising and poison ivy blisters.  (Don't worry - no P365 pictures of this!)

When I saw last night that what looked like bruising had spread down his foot, I put MY foot down (ha - pun intended) and said "You're having a doctor look at that NOW."

Off to the ER we went.  I have to say I married a complete clown, and he matches me perfectly.  We passed the time making off-color jokes...

("Why don't you see what kind of candy they have in that candy box on the wall?")

And eavesdropping on the patient across the 4-bed unit we were in.  Oh lawds. 

From what I could gather, she was in for some abdominal pain? Like, period cramping. 

The doctor was telling her she should go to a gynecologist for further testing - she was all, "where do I find a office thats got one of them?" 

And she sat and hollered at nurses to take out her IV - "Hey mami - hey hunnie, come help me wit dis!  I been havin' to piss since beFO I got 'dis in!"

You know when you get a picture in your head of who is speaking and then you see the person and you're like, "NO WAY!"

That's what this was like - she was maybe twenty-something, well dressed, looked clean and hygenic... we just kind of laughed as she strolled out of there.

A tetanus shot and Rx for antibiotics later, we finally got back home to the DELICIOUS pad thai that I made FROM SCRATCH that sat on the stove for 2 hours.  (Ok, so it was a sauce packet that I mixed with coconut milk - but otherwise from scratch!)

Still looks good 2 hours later, right??

I'm just glad E recognized it -

"The first night in a MONTH that my wife cooks dinner and it's sitting at home while we are in an ER..."

*Continuing Battle of the Bulge...