a Punch to this Old Gut...

And my morning started out oh so well...

I had to run out for work errands and returned to find a DD coffee on my desk that a coworker had picked up - the true way to this girl's heart. (E does not feel threatened.) lol

And then it all went to hell...

A coworker stopped by to say hi and says she feels old - her 10 year High School reunion is this fall.   I said mine is sometime this year too - and if she's old, then I'm old!  And then E's REALLY old - his was 2 years ago!  

Then my stupid little assistant - you know, the one who told everyone and their goldfish that she was pregnant at 4 weeks? yea that one - she says her 10 year reunion will be next March-ish.  But, "oh woe is me - I won't be able to go - I'm due in February so I'll be a new mommy with my cute cuddly little newborn that you don't get to have, K.  Squeeeeee and rainbows and unicorns and lots of glitter!"

Ok - no she didn't actually say "Squeeee" but everything else is accurate.  Somewhat.

For some reason this girl's pregnancy bugs the HELL out of me.  I think I'm just so annoyed because I did it all the "right" way - was on prenatals for months before getting pregnant, cautiously only told our family after a heartbeat was confirmed, revealed the news to a few more friends after another appointment revealed appropriate growth and heartbeat again.  We followed the "12week rule" - you all know what I mean by that.  And still it all went to hell in a handbasket.

And it WILL be this girl, who posted pictures of her positive HPT on F.acebook an hour after she took it, that will have everything go smoothly, even though she's an insulin-dependant diabetic.  She told anyone who would listen at work the very next morning that she was pregnant.  She even told those who wouldn't listen (mostly me.)  And she sits and complains about the fact that she'll have multiple check ups due to her poor health. 

I'm still trying to decide if I want to scream at her that I miscarried and she needs to STFU about anything and everything.   Now, I can only HOPE that if she knew, she wouldn't say the stupid shit she has in the past few weeks.  But what if she still does?  You know, says the stupid shit after KNOWING...

That's when I think it would be better to keep quiet and just turn up Pandora a little louder and keep on keeping on until 5'o'clock arrives.  (Although lately that's been a little more like 6'o'clock. ugh)

I'm looking forward to this work day's end for sure - all of The Cousins are getting together for dinner tonight.  The Cousins would be E and I, my SIL and her husband, the couple who just had Baby G's christening (and I hope they bring him tonight! Although they probably won't for want of adult time and adult beverages without bottles of the baby variety getting in the way, who can blame them) and E's younger cousin - 9 years younger, because her mother struggled with fertility and had only her daughter later in life. 

So come OOOON FIVE O CLOCK! I've got family, friends, fantastic food and drinks* waiting!

*I'm normally a drink-til-it's-pink kind of gal - of course it's a reprise showing of Women who Stare at Charts recently.  "Is that an implantation dip??  Is that the CM I saw during our BFP cycle at 6DPO??  Am I an uber bitch lately because pregnancy hormones are raging??  Oh- no, that's just typical bitchy me."

I am trying not to create phantom symptoms because I will avoid heartbreak and a BFN at all costs.  I am going to temp all the way through til AF (or BFP).  So if temp drops? 

SOOO - on that note:

On this Friday - FRIDAY THE 13TH - I will be about 11DPO.  And E will be out of town starting Saturday morning (I would so love to be able to keep a BFP a surprise for a big birthday gift at the end of July - yea, I know - horse before the cart... and we'll cross that bridge when we get there.  With our horse-drawn cart.)

*gulp*

Do I test if temps are still up??  (I only consider it an option because on our BFP cycle - I got a clear positive at just 12DPO - and it might have been a little earlier than that as 1st and 2nd u/s measured me a few days later.)

"I'll take a one-way ticket on the TTC Crazy Train please?"

P365

Amalfi Coast, Italy

the peace I need to find again from our honeymoon