3 Eighths...

That's what 15 weeks is - 3/8 of the way through a pregnancy.  In 5 weeks, I'll be half-baked...

*pant pant* ok, Squee-ing done...

So I finally scheduled the A/S and tried to get the perinatal office to do it around 18.5-19w (when I see a number of other girls getting their's) and I was informed absolutely not BEFORE 20w.  So it's scheduled for 20w1d, on March 8th.

Aaaaaand then I counted the 5 weeks between now and then... and subtly suggested an elective u/s to E, because - well - it's "only" $60!  (And by subtly, I think I said - I CANT WAIT UNTIL MARCH 8TH!!!)
...And he agreed...
(squeeing is NOT DONE)

So our elective u/s (to 1 - check in on baby, and 2 - get the GENDER!!) is set for 17weeks on, get this - Valentine's Day.  =)

We had already decided, for Vday, to both take off work and hit NYC for museums + dinner at our favorite restauraunt in Soho... now we get to do all that with the knowledge of whether our nursery will be pink or blue!
(ok - NOW I think squeeing is done with...)

Dear sweet 15week navel-orange-size baby - we're gonna see YOU in about two weeks!! *((any guesses on team boy vs team pink?!))



**Go pregnancy brain... I snuck my phone with me for the typical work-bathroom-bump-shot, and then forgot to post...

I gotta say, I like the little bootie I'm getting =P

(SO FAR... listen butt, don't get TOO big!)

Public: Out and Proud!

So it's actually been over a week since we made it OFFICIAL (and by official, I mean we went public with the pregnancy on FBook - NOTHING'S official until it's on there...)

If you've been following for awhile, you know I dabble in photography - well I wanted to personalize the announcement with my own pictures and tore through the house an entire night trying different lighting and different ideas, getting frustrated when one setup after another wasn't producing The Perfect Shot.

Until one finally did...

(Obviously the above picture had a clear last name on f.acebook... lol)*
*Also, thanks Weaslewam for the pregnancy brain catch - I forgot to blur the mirror reflection of the letters... ooof!

Is this what it's like?!

Just two snapshots of what's going on lately chez Buggy List...

Celebrating day 100 of this pregnancy...
 
And speaking of Remembering to Feed Baby - E and I fought (again) this morning about me eating enough... long story short, he tried to show me an app that calculated a 2nd tri pregnant woman my measurements needing about 2K calories a day, and I yelled that I told him last night, that after dinner my calorie count for the day was exactly 2000 calories! And he remembers me saying 1000... and hounded me this morning "What did you eat for breakfast?!" and got mad when I said, "TRUST me when I say I ate enough!"

fun times with the hormones...

So along with day 100 of this pregnancy came day 3 (in a row) of having to yet again bathe doggie #2, Zoey, and her crate after she either peed or pooped (or threw up - or better yet, THREW UP POOP) overnight...
 
We're hoping she doesn't have any bug (fingers crossed) as it's been over 12 hours(ish) since any abnormal bowel or regurgitate activity...

You call that a lunch??

Who the hell thought this would be a sufficient lunch for a pregnant lady?! I will be the one in the corner, gnawing on her arm in an hour..

"Dire Rear" of the brain...

In honor of Thursday ticker changes and reaching the 14week lemon today, here's a late HDBD/early BPF belly shot:

and yea, I think I'm still in the "Did-you-just-have-Thanksgiving-dinner?!" stage...

Speaking of eating a whole lot - my binging schedule is every 1.5-2 hours... like clock work.  My office is so loaded with snacks: 3 boxes of oatmeal, 2 boxes of breakfast bars, 1 box of Belvita cookies, 1 apple (more at home!), 1 string cheese (more at home!), cupcake goldfish, chocolate covered Acai/blueberries, a box of instant cream of wheat, sunflower seeds, cashews - I think that will last me til next Friday...
(And sincere thanks for all the support when it came to defending my eating enough to DH - he still likes to leave treasures for me to find in the morning though:

So I am so glad, what with it appearing to be midnight by the time I get home from work with the dark and cold winter nights, that we now own an elliptical.  We picked it up two nights ago, and I am already into the stage of "Oh, I'll just do it tomorrow night - tonight is the last night of sitting on my ass..." because then I fell asleep last night while trying to read at 8pm... Go me.  (TONIGHT I will get on the elliptical... I think... because first we have to go and pick out appliances for our master bathroom to be redone and you know, we'll get home late and I'll be tired... so, TOMORROW I will get on the elliptical...)

And I dont feel the urgent need to keep active now that I've got more options than the leaving-everything-unbottoned-under-a-long-shirt look which has cut down on the I-feel-like-a-stuffed-sausage-in-these-pants.. I got full-panel maternity slacks for work in black, and the grey ones I got are too long (what?!?! too long?! I have never ever in my life had this problem at 5'10"...) so they need to be returned for grey regular length pants... and then I'll have two pairs plus all my leggings and hopefully this freeze-the-insides-of-your-nose weather will transition nicely to spring and I can start rocking the millions of sundresses I have!


Also just a quick pregnancy brain story, because I have a feeling they're just going to get better and better...
This morning I am in the kitchen with a goal of feeding our dogs, whose food is above the fridge.  I find myself in the cabinet (across the kitchen) looking for a water glass... I redirect myself to the task at hand.  And realize I'm digging in the fridge.  For dry cereal.  (Dry cereal was not in the fridge in case you were wondering...) Silly me, I start pouring a bowl of Q.uaker Oat Squares and look down at my feet at 2 hungry dogs.... oops...

And it's begun...

Dear Baby -

I did it this past weekend... I started working on your nursery (wow it feels weird even TYPING that...)

When your daddy and I moved into our house, we knew we would one day be using your room as a nursery - but until then, just crammed in moving boxes we had no clue what to do with...

Well I went through them all.  And started organizing shelves and clearing out corners...

And laid out the blanket that your grandma (my mommy!) made for us - it's waiting patiently for you...

I set up the nightlight/lamp that lit the night for my sister's little girls, your cousins...

And while there's a really good chance all this will be moved to different final locations (what with clearing the room out to paint, and setting up furniture we haven't picked out yet), the little corner in an otherwise empty room makes this so real...

And after I worked for hours clearing out your nursery, I decided you and I deserved a TV-rest for the night:

You and me...

13w4d

a... Four-fecta?

(Anyone know what's a Trifecta, but +1?? lol)

So, 1 - 2nd Tri now.... officially, by all counting methods/apps (except the stupid WhattoExpect app which says 13w4d, but 1stTri still - maybe I'll just delete it... =P)

2 - To celebrate, I had my first prenatal massage yesterday - and it was a disappointing let-down... I had won a gift card for a free 55min massage (why not just an even hour?!)  so it was a place I'd never been to (one that had just opened and wanted to drum up business...)

It wasn't quite spa-atmosphere... I felt like a critic but I kept noticing things like the bed heater thingy not being turned on until after I was stripped down and laying between (the cold!) sheets... and the masseuse (who had slightly rough hands) did not warm the lotion up first every time... I'm picky I know, maybe because the spas I have been to have just been heavenly... (Even when tucked into the corners of mall department stores!)

And - AND, because it was a "prenatal massage" - they didn't let you lie face down! Eeeeven though I'm still able to do that! You had to lay on your side with some pillow showed between your knees, and that's how they got your back rubbed down... lame.  (Although I'm sure I would take it in a heartbeat in a few months...)

The massage place (since I don't quite feel like it deserves the name spa) was also running a promotion for joining their monthly well-ness plan ($60/month for one massage) and you got to keep the gift card from that day's appointment to regift, so the massage was "basically free" - wait, I used a gift card so the massage WAS free, regardless!   I decided it was most definitely not worth it...

Onto 3 - oh the dreams... I had my first loss dream Saturday night... I was on the toilet and looked down and saw just a single drop of blood fall into the water, followed by the peach-sized baby, gray and blood-free and still in the sac... I dove into the toilet with my hand, and the dream-world transforms baby physically into something like a doll, whose mouth and chest I can see breathing - so I decide to try to give baby heart compressions?! I wasn't scared or sad or anything when I woke up - I had just the relief of "this is real life, everything is ok still - holy shit wasn't that dream weird?!"

And then last night I dreamt that I was trying to find a private place to pee at a party (a frequent dream I have - any interpretations?!) and end up on a toilet with something like a shower curtain pulled around me, trying in vain for privacy.  And each time I wipe, there's miniscule amounts of blood - so pink, I guess it'd be the "tinged CM" variety... and it never got more, but it never got less...

oh the dreams...

And the Four-fecta - E is driving me up a freaking wall about eating enough... I'm sure he's going nuts because it's something he can't control, especially when he's gone from 2pm til 11pm yesterday for the NY Rangers game in NYC.  He walked in the house, and the first things out of his mouth were "What did you have for dinner?!"

I started ticking off broccoli cheddar soup, veggie chips, fruit cup, string cheese, bowl of L.ife cereal - amongst some other junky food that I fit in between courses... And he gets angry and says "YOU NEED TO EAT MORE!!!"

We are still in this battle - I am 100% fine with the fact that I'll be putting on weight VERY soon... But I see no reason to put on more weight than I need to - I will not be bingeing and using this pregnancy as an excuse to eat EVERY.THING.IN.SIGHT (as apparently he wants me to...)
I have a feeling that he thinks I'm afraid of the weight gain... that when I just make the mere observation, "Wow, I felt like I'd packed on a few already and according to the scale I haven't put on a single pound! That's good news!"  he interprets it as "OH THANK GOD I HAVEN'T GAINED WEIGHT YET!"

of course it doesn't work to point out "that other women throw up the entire first three months and LOSE weight - they still have healthy babies!" because then it's the whole, "but YOU weren't sick in your first trimester!"

I feel like it's usually the other way around - husbands are worried about you packing on the pounds, and you're like - FEED ME SEYMOUR!

Anyone else wish their DH would just be quiet already and trust that you're eating enough?!

Officially yet??

So depending on where you read, or who you listen to, or what app you're using - I cross(ed?) into 2nd tri sometime between last Thursday (12w) and this Sunday (13w3d).

Holy Bajeesus - 2nd trimester.  While it feels like forever ago that I dropped to my knees sobbing in the bathroom at the 2nd pink line, I can't believe I'm here, with a tiny second heart thumping away steadily on the doppler...

I'm out (and proud! lol) at work, and just one idea/photograph/photoshopdesign away from posting on F.acebook (lord knows nothing's official until it's posted on F.Book!)


And yes, I'm doing the whole Baby Diaries thing (the thing I usually skip over when reading other blogs because I find it slightly repetitive this early in a pregnancy) but now it's me, and it's my 3" little peach (HOLY SHIT the amount of love you can fit into three inches...)

How Big is Baby:  She's a peach, a blessed three whole inches - and E and I still hold a "he/she" battle nightly during doppler sessions that go something like:
E - oh I can't get the hb long enough to register, he must be moving around like crazy!
K - oh, SHE is just playing hard to get =)

Weight Gain: While I feel like I've gained a few pounds already, what with the lovely post-lunch-building-into-post-dinner-blump, my scale at home has only recently registered a lb or so... And when I mention this to E, as just a mere observation, he at first interpreted it as "OH GOD I'm already gaining weight!" cue freak out, and he proceeded to lecture me on the fact that yes, it's ok to gain weight now (no kidding! I'm using that excuse to eat much more than I normally would!)

Gender: See above he/she battle... MIL is set on going by old wives' tales so I've thrown her for a loop with the Its-a-Girl fast fetal hr, and then the Its-A-Boy no m/s at all...
Symptoms: Not much anymore - boobs are still nice and plump (as plump as they can be at still a small Bcup - grow suckers!) and while I thought I was heading into a more energetic three months, I fell asleep at 7:30 last night...

Sleep: (see above 12+ hr nights' sleep...)
Maternity Clothes: I've started to wear maternity clothes as they arrive (ordering more every week or so lol)
I haven't worn any of my previous work slacks for at least a week, and am anxious to hit the stores to shop for pants (I can nearly never shop online for pants, what wearing a 36" inseam, DEPENDING on the cut...)

Food Cravings: Not anything crazy, except when a coworker makes popcorn in a communal kitchen, and my nose picks it up from 1 whole floor up...
Food Aversions: Mushy bananas - natch, all mushy fruit - makes me gag - more of the texture I guess... lol

Stretchmarks: not yet...

What I'm Looking Forward To: The A/S (which is yet to scheduled at the perinatal office...) which will be less than 7 weeks away... I've known I'm pregnant for 11 weeks... crazy to think that soon we'll know the answer and can solve the he/she battle!
What I Miss: nothing.

Next Drs Appointment: February 6th - I'm assuming just b/w and a doppler check (if anything)
Best Moment of the Week: Telling people at work, and receiving the random huge grins and the "CONGRATS!" while walking down the hallway...

How Do You Know....

... when you have PGAL brain?

When you google the following, in all seriousness:

"Can I hurt the baby while straining during a bowel movement?!"




Yes, I googled that.  And no, you can't.  (hurt the baby while straining.)

*sigh*

a Doppler Dependency...

I don't think it's sunk in yet... being on the other side...

On the other side of the appointment that I never got to in May...

I prepared, starting last night:

I shaved my legs (cuz god knows when they were shaved last... WHAT?! it's winter!)
I shaved my armpits (those, I keep up with regardless of the season)
I shaved - well, elsewhere.

I painted my toenails (cuz again, god KNOWS when they were last done!  And while I feel it's slightly a waste in the middle of winter, nothing looks better than a fresh coat of Avon's plumberry* polish)
*I think I completely made up that name, so please don't go try to find it online anywhere...

And then this morning, since E was getting some time in at work before meeting me at the doctor's, I couldn't help but use the doppler - it had been 36 hours, and took about 3.6 seconds to find baby...

What a world of difference it was, approaching this NT scan... The first appointment before which I was able to confirm for myself (over and over) that yes, baby's still kicking in there - his/her heart is gallump-gallumping away still. 

So we confidently approached the ultrasound tech who globbed out enough gel to lube an elephant (sorry, graphic? image you didn't want stuck in your head? You're welcome. =)

and saw this:

Be still my beating heart...

And for the BPF record, 12w exactly:

                                      first thing in the morning       vs             late at night 

what a difference all that eating makes!

stupid Auto Restart...

After beginning my morning trying to order a 12-week celebratory decaf cup of Dunkin (which didn't go all that well - I noticed the server pour from a regular coffee carafe, when we ALL KNOW - or at least, having been a waitress for YEARS, at least I know - that decaf is kept in the orange-topped carafes!  I ain't messing around so I asked the guy, this is DECAF right? and he just looked at me - and I said, I absolutely cannot have caffeine, PLEASE. *sigh*)

Anyways - after that beginning, I get to work to find my computer had done me the courtesy of "installing updates and automatically restarting!"

...after I left open particular documents that I was working on yesterday.  (And mmmaybe a blog whose archives I had been in the middle of...) *shakes fist at Windows*

This loveliness happened, of course, after the receptionist in the front office nearly gagged me with her post-morning-cigarette stench.  Is it just pregnant-me or do the smokers REEK more than ever??


So here it is, afternoon,  where I'm struggling through the lunch-induced-coma, and I make a trip to the front office to drop off some outgoing mail.

And happened to stand a particular way, leaning against the island, that made above-mentioned stinky receptionist reach out and poke (well not poke, more like feel-with-the-back-of-her-hand) my stomach - apparently its starting to stick out noticeably? EEK!
I jumped up straight, and kind of laughed - and she laughed the same "Oh sorry to have assumed, it IS after lunch and you WERE standing a funny way!" chuckle and I hightailed it out of the office...

So apparently it won't be as big of a surprise to some people as I thought it would be when I spill the news after tomorrow's (OMFG TOMORROW?! The next 18 hours better FLY!) NT scan...

I Dreamed a Dream...

... of clothes gone byyyyyyyyy...
of skinny waists and no stretch panels....

I think I'm officially in maternity clothes....

Ok, I don't think, I AM.  

I start to pull them out, the maternity clothes, and think - but shit, I'm only 12 weeks tomorrow, this is ridiculous. 

And then I remember that even my undone slacks were TIGHT after lunch yesterday...

So now I'm rocking a paneled black pencil skirt today - and GAWD this bitch feels awesome!

Me at work now...

And speaking of dreams - HOLY COW, The Dreams!

Two nights ago, ALL IN ONE DREAM:
 - I had a baby that my dream-self had NO RECOLLECTION of the pregnancy past like, 8weeks...
 - I tried to breastfeed said baby
 - After difficulty with above, I tried to see if baby would latch onto E'S NIPPLES...
 - After baby latched to E, I tried to breastfeed our dog (?!?!??!!?) to see if the problem was me...

The whole dog-BF'ing thing? so gross...

I mean, what happened to the good sex dreams?

I've had James McAvoy

and (although a bit young for my regular taste) Josh Hutcherson - Peeta was yummy... 

but to go along with the weird dreams lately, last night was... (I hate to admit this!) Kris Humphries....

(ok ok - he normally looks like this:)

He DOES have height going for him, being the tallest of my dream paramours, which has points for this 5'10" gal...



Oh... did I mention - TWELVE WEEKS TOMORROW?! so excited to hit plum-stage!

P.S. - HAPPY BIRTHDAY (and Happy 14 weeks!) to Weaslewam!

Another Loss-Milestone...

It was at this exact point in May, 11w4d, that I heard the words from the sono-tech "I'm so sorry, I don't have good news for you..." after a panicked few days of brown spotting, back cramps, and zilch on the doppler at home.

And, though the day's not over yet, we've been succesfully finding baby's steady hb with the doppler for over a week now...

But I can't honestly say "I'm the most pregnant I've ever been" - because I passed that around 8.5 weeks (when growth stopped last time.)

And I can't honestly even say, "I'm the most pregnant I ever even thought I've been!" - because, while my brain (and E) kept insisting, everything's probably fine - I'm just overreacting, REALLY - the odds are in my favor - my heart couldn't ignore the regular non-pregnancy breasts and the disappearance of hunger pains, and the re-appearance of hair shedding like a yeti in the shower...

All of this is new territory - but at least, I guess, I can say my ticker's gone the furthest it's ever been! =P

Baby - you're measuring between a lime (1.6in) and a plum (2.5in), depending on which app I go by... And your fhr? Still nice and high at 172-178! Your mommy thought fatigue was getting a little better in the new year, but then was asleep, or at least napping, by 7:30 the last two nights!  Good news is you've moved up a bit in my tummy, and the urge to pee - 4 times a night! - is decreasing... (something that would have caused me to worry and panic, if I didn't have the calming "lub-dub" heart baeat when we peek in on you with the doppler...)

We are so so grateful for this technology, and just found out that your grandma used a stethoscope at home 30 years ago to check in on your daddy!

You've got a crew excited to meet you - cousins, grandparents, aunts, uncles and friends in places like Alaska! and California, and Texas, and Washington, and very much a special friend in Iowa also on his/her way!

So, I'll keep this oven cranked up if you keep on baking! (Speaking of bun and oven, we told Daddy's cousin - and my good friend! - about you last night with a Bun in the Oven candle - she didn't get it at first, which was pretty funny to watch, but is so excited to meet you!)

Da Dum... Du Dum...

**That would be the Funeral March - NOT here comes the bride...

As tonight, we are going to see fBFF and baby... E crammed his visit in the day she had the baby (and consequently the day before we flew out of town for 2 weeks) so it'll be my first visit...

I haven't seen her since her baby shower, and am just over-all dreading tonight...

I don't want her to know about me being pregnant - because I can just envision it now:

"SQUEEEE NOW we can be friends again!"

(Cuz you know, that was the whole reason we stopped being friends - she was pregnant and I was not.  *please tell me you could read the heavy sarcasm that was globbing and dripping between the lines...*)

I don't want her to be the smug "Oh just wait until [xyz] happens, it's the best/funniest/most amazing thing ever!" lady who's all, ha - been there and DONE THAT!


But, I'm pulling on my BigGirlPanties - and once again being the "bigger person."

And speaking of BigGirl things, maybe she'll offer her maternity clothes and I'll get the chance to say, "oh hunnie - your clothes would be WAY TOO BIG on me, even at 9 months!" (**remember the Elbow Dimples?!) 
"Thanks though, bless your heart!"

Diving in...

You know, baby, I have had moments where I wished I documented the first pregnancy, just to know what symptoms were happening when - what symptoms started disappearing when.

And then I am glad that I'm already blogging for this pregnancy - but here I am, without having recorded or documented the past few weeks... for fear of jinxing it all I guess...

But with the reassuring train-track-clopping of your heartbeat from the doppler (that I may or may not check oh, once a day...) I think I'm finally ready to start...

You see, baby, I'm 11 weeks pregnant with you today (even though I've measured 1 day behind and then 1 day ahead respectively at the last two doctor's appointments - we're sticking with a Thursday Ticker Change) I couldn't wait for you to move out of that prune stage - what an awful fruit for a baby!

You're already well-traveled and experienced at 11 weeks - you've made it through Hurricane S.andy! and been all over the state of Texas!  You've rung in a new year with live music!

Your daddy keeps asking when he'll be able to feel you, and I tell him not for a while - and I feel happy inside that I'll feel you first.  I'll be the one to feel you flip and flutter, but that also means that soon after you'll be kicking into your daddy's hand.  And I can't wait to see the look on his face when he feels that...

You're still my little secret at work - you and I will tell when we're damn well ready (but probably after next week's NT scan when we get to see you wave, because baby - you're getting hard to dress and hide!)

You haven't made me sick, just famished every few hours - and god bless you, there's no weight gain or stretch marks, YET! 

Baby, you seem to really like apples - daddy laughs and says he'd guess I've eaten more than he could count during the past 11 weeks.  Honey crisp, red delicious, granny smith (which are reaaally good dipped in peanut butter!) Even apple sauce!

You keep us guessing as to if you're a boy or girl - old wives' tales are no help either because some say boy (my skin hasn't really broken out) and some say girl (your FHR is 178, baby!)  And yes, the ultimate desire is a happy, healthy baby - but I am secretly (ok not to secretly, your daddy hears this daily) jonesing for you to be a girl... Your grandma (and GREAT grandma) make the best dresses, blankets, hair clips and headbands a girl could want! 

So, a slightly late official WELCOME, Baby - I hope you find everything you need in my uterus and placenta/amniotic sac (I'm still not sure which one is the permanent resident for you now...)

Enjoy the complimentary continental breakfasts, and we'll see you next week, Baby, at the NT!