Saturday, February 28, 2015

as I suck coffee down...

It's Saturday - I should be doing a million other things, like packing up for the 1.5 hour drive we're making later today to visit friends in their new house (any suggestions for a housewarming gift if we've already sent Omaha Steaks??)

I should be packing up Button's clothes, diapers, toys, PNP, etc...

I would like to be hitting the salon to get my eyebrows waxed (yikes!) and I'd like to be hitting our local thrift store during their winter clearance sale: $0.99 for all adult clothing and $0.49 for kid clothing!!


Instead - I am wrapping up a great February 2015 ICLW! =)


I got to read some great blogs this week, and received great comments from a number of great bloggers - each time I participate in ICLW (however hesitant I was to join at first) I am always glad, come day 7 of commenting, that I did it...


SO - any regular readers that haven't participated in this before, go check out the Great Stirrup Queens and all the fabulousness there: resources, Mel's personal blog, and awesome community link-ups such as ICLW!  March's list opened this morning - go check it out, get your blog on the list, and discover more of a great community!

Thursday, February 26, 2015

Some Fart Talk

Recent musings while chatting with a friend about her single-ness and it's (in my mind) bitter-sweetness:
(oh the agony of wondering if he is The One, and why hasn't he called?! I thought the date went SO WELL! but oh the excitement of seeing him call, and getting a text for the next date! IS HE GONNA KISS ME?! aaaaah!)


So while you've lost the excitement of dating in marriage, there's also the plus side of KNOWING your partner loves you and so you no longer have to be on your "Best Behavior"...

Like, we still don't fart in front of each other, but now we acknowledge that we fart!  Case in point: E was recently telling me how he farted while holding Button, who then pointed towards E's butt, then to his own, and then grunted and squeezed out a fart of his own.
Father+Son bonding time at it's best...


And speaking of farts, here's a little ThatAkwardMoment:
I was in hot yoga last night (score 1 for the BuggyList!), and felt a little one slip out (silently...) but - well, pretty deadly...

And then I realized the best part: in yoga, no one will ever know who really released the stinker!
I mean, I just did the LookAround of "Ew what is that smell?! what crawled up that person's butt and died?"



Also - BuggyList news: I have a dentist appointment next Wednesday to get going on the root canal (x-rays, yay!)
I also have an appointment to get my tattoo!!!! OMG guys I designed the coolest one ever while waiting to discuss with an artist yesterday... I can't wait to show you!

ALSO - WHATWOULDYOUDO?!
so, I originally booked the tat appointment for this coming Tuesday (CD12 - preO) but during work hours (1pm-4pm) and I'm not sure I can swing that time off given the dentist appt that Wednesday at 3:30...
The only other appointment that could work in the next few weeks is the NEXT Tuesday (which will be CD20 - which could be around 4DPO if I O on my average day, or could be even less daysPO...) and that appointment is 7pm-10pm so I could bring E with me and not have to leave work...

What say you about getting inked at that point in a cycle?!

Monday, February 23, 2015

Mucho Makin'...

Another one of my "regular" (HA if there is such a thing for me...) series, is Makin' Things Monday! (Best alliteration I could come up with for my craftiness... deal with it.)

During the first installation, I showed off Button's "artwork" (a.k.a. the daycare teacher's artwork...)
(I have more artwork I'll have to rotate through as the seasons change - you know, the footprint scarecrows and hearts each have an appropriate season! And the first time he came home with some green paint under one of his toenails I thought, EWW FOOT FUNGUS?!?!)


During the next installation, I got half-way through refurb-ing a shelf that I brought with me from my parents' in Texas (who knows if it was any special shelf or just some junk sitting in their garage they thought they'd get rid of and I wanted it... LOL just ask E how I am with "family heirlooms" - we just rearranged the nursery the other day, and I packed away (an honestly UGLY) little ceramic night light - it's stained and chipped! - but it got packed away because my mom bought in 1982 when my older brother was born!)
Anway - so the shelf is "halfway" because, while it's painted the bright fun colors for the playroom (where Button's "artwork" gallery is located), it apparently doesn't have the right hanging hardware, according to E and so it sits and waits for him to re-fit it with hardware... (I have a feeling I'll end up doing it myself out of impatience this weekend... I AM WOMAN hear me DRILL!)




In the third of the series came my first P!nterest creation - The Birthday Calendar REMINDER!

In the most recent blurb (because really, they'd become little tags at the end of a larger post about travel, or engagement parties attended, or play dates we'd gone to) I continued the P!nterest kick:
 My chargers and my paper tree!


Most recently (ok in the last month or so...) I ambitiously decided to make a hat for Button! (This after mom re-taught me how to crochet during Christmas in Texas (and that after she had first tried to teach me just a few days after Button was born - yea, that brain wadn't absorbing JackShit...))

After a slight rough start (actually, a few rough restarts) I got the hang of it, and then decided the pattern I'd found and was following would be too small.
And so, accidentally created a hat for a grown adult (you're welcome E!)

Version 2.0 of Button's hat came much better (and gave me good practice!)
He loves to wear it doesn't pull it off!



And with that good hat practice, I've begun making these:

My Lent addition (instead of giving something up - although I guess it could be considered giving up my free evenings? lol that's a reach...) is crocheting baby hats - preemie & newborn size - for both our church's donations they're collecting this month, as well as for donations to our local hospitals (hopefully I can find a day during the week to get them delivered...)

I've made the two above (after a false start and loss of one hat - it's horrible, I'm not even going to show you...) and one more not pictured (yellow with green brim strip) and I've got probably 4-5lbs of yarn to make more!
(weird that yarn is measured in lbs - but I mean these suckers... I've gotten three hats out of the blue so far, and barely used half of it!)


How about you?

Making anything (even if it's just dinner!) this Monday?

Saturday, February 21, 2015

late ICLW intro and an apology...

(No ICLWers, as much as I feel contrite for posting a late intro, the apology is not necessarily for you! More on that later...)


Hi ICLWers!

Long (kind of) story much shorter - a (relatively) long 18 months after going off birth control, I got my "sticky" positive pregnancy test, and 9 months later met Button.


TTC #2 has officially begun as of this month with cycle#1 resulting in a tattoo and dentist appointment... (see here for why!)  ((and just so you know, they are not all the same appointment, the tattoo and dentist work... lol))

As for the apology - I'm sorry, Wondfos, for basically calling you liars... alas, you were right, not pregnant this time... "I'll get you next time!" *Shakes fists*


(and while the dentist appointment to begin the long-dreaded root canal (new x-rays needed since it's been so long) is set for 1.5 weeks from now, the tattoo is waiting for this current snow storm in the NJ area to end so I can meet with an artist to get the design started!  
(Last time I spontaneously got a tattoo, E (thankfully!) convinced me to switch from my desired "615 BITCHES" tattoo (to support his engine number (615) and the other firefighter wives) to a much nicer "La Vie Est Belle"... nice, right?  I've learned from this experience that I need to take a little bit more time for tattoo consideration...)



Anyways - welcome to The Buggy List!

Thursday, February 19, 2015

update: bullet-point style

  • I didn't test this morning
  • no sign of AF.  At All.
  • still seeing/imaging/making-up symptoms (headache, the nauseous* hunger (*BTW - I STILL can't spell that word, blogger corrects me every time...) the fatigue...
  • officially one of the longest LPs I've had (since tracking / in the last few years of TTC)

Did I O even? I mean - pretty decent fertile signs about 12-13 days ago: highish cervix, some WHOA-that's-STRETCHY! CM/discharge - all this followed by the closing-of-shop: cervix dropped  (in fact, so low - *shudders at what I'm about to type* it was barely even half a knuckle "up there") and shut up tight.
I even kept checking for a few days after to make sure it wasn't a fluke...  

 My Ovulation Chart (in case chart doesn't link)
(oh also - ignore the +OPK... I only put it in to trigger a DPO count... )




(SIGH)
 I think I'll be breaking out that FRER tomorrow morning...

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Listen..

Listen - just let me indulge my craziness for a bit, eh? Cold hard reality will set in eventually...

Tested again last night (I know, no first morning urine again...)
BFN.

another one this morning, with FMU for a change...

And as of this morning, there was no sign of AF at 12DPO (which is a "long" LP for me - AF usually shows exactly ON 12DPO...)

I was still (imagining/having?) symptoms - headache, nauseous-hunger... had to restrain myself from looking up bad batches of wondfos...
 I've got a FR (not sure if it's an FRER) that I was tempted to use this morning - but that meant I was basically calling the Wondfos liars... (unless - BAD BATCH?!)





But as of lunch today - (TMI warning? nawwww - no such thing on a TTC blog...) a CP check (not sure why I did one, lol) brought about some light brown, so it seems the crimson tide is creeping closer to shore...


And that's ok.

This is totally so different than TTC #1 (especially TTCAL - when we reached almost 18 months from the date I stopped birth control...)

That was pure desperation.  Utter knee-knocking fear when the timer went off at 5 minutes, indicating it was time to go check for those two pink lines.

Heart-pounding seconds as eyes focused in on the "test" line area on the pee stick...


Desperation.



This time, the 3-4 BFNs (but who's counting...) this week brought my shoulders a little lower, and drew a quick sigh of disappointment (but seriously?! I expected to be KTFU on the first cycle?!)

 But today, I think I'll start hydrating hardcore for my hot yoga class tonight (after which, I'll quickly shower and hopefully get to the liquor store before they close.  And if I don't make it, I believe there's a little Tennessee Jack Daniel's Honey in the freezer with my name on it...)


And tomorrow?


Buying some pom juice (can't hurt right? lol oh to quickly fall back into old TTC habits)
Buying some OPKs
Making dentist appointment (awful root canal NEEDS to get done!)
Making tattoo appointment to get a design drawn this weekend!!


Basically, some more Buggy List.




(Also - a quick Wardrobe Wednesday! (I almost totally forgot about this series... LOL))
SO these leggings, I loved them when I saw them in a funky boutique store in TX... and then they sat in a drawer for months maybe a year with me clueless how to rock them...
enter a men's dress shirt layered under a gray sweater, some riding boots and cuffs - and voila!




An actual (gratuitous) work-bathroom shot!

(Because, seriously - you try to find the right words to google
to find an image of THOSE pants!)



Also?

I made those boot-cuffs... now taking orders! =)

Monday, February 16, 2015

Dpo

So yesterday (Sunday) - coffee tasted like utter crap...

the second I took the first sip, what usually is like a little bit of heaven - that first hot sip - was definitely not good.

Did I not put enough sugar? ooooooooor pregnant symptom?!
So then I added more sugar, and then it tasted like utter too-sweet crap...

And that stupid 7dpo BFN.
I tried to dig it out of the bathroom trash Saturday night night... but it had fallen, like those teeny tiny wondfos will do, far past where I was willing to dumpster-dive...
(Note to self : use first morning urine next time, and then destroy the evidence.. HPT bonfire?)



This morning?
I felt so fucking moody at home, pissed at E because I woke up early, jumped in the shower and got myself ready and he slept in (makes no sense right?)
and then I got pissed at him for leaving an entire cup of Button's milk out overnight (are we both at fault and that's why I didn't rub E's nose in it this morning?)
and I thought, Ugh this is fucking PMS
And then I got even more bitchy because I'm pretty sure I'm PMS-ing, which means AF is on her way.
I didn't dare test..


The battles in my brain:


I am able to wake up with ease even at 7am (I usually snooze my alarm for 30-40 minutes, and I had noticed myself waking up bright-eyed and bushy-tailed during 1st Tri with Button...)
but
I'm PMSing like a pro

I'm not waking up for MOTN pee's
but
I've had that slight not-painful-but-mostly-annoying headache that I had the last few days before testing with Button...

I get the shaky haven't-eaten-yet feeling when i get to work, even though I had a bowl of cereal at home...

my regular DD coffee: french vanilla, skim milk + 2 sugars - still tastes funny...
it used to taste like heaven (even more than at-home-brewed coffee!) at the first sip...

I had horribly dry eyes all day friday at the computer - like, unprecedented dry eyes... (oh that's a pregnancy symptom! Ignore the website that says it usually starts around the end of the first trimester...)

This morning I got all road-ragey (I honestly don't even remember why, because I was barely off our street when I started cursing)
and then I cursed (silently) again, thinking I'm a horrible mother, because Button is sitting in the backseat listening...

And now - second time needing to pee in an hour. oooo!
Most likely because the coffee I just finished is a diuretic. duh.

**and let's not miss what just happened at lunch: I thought a coworker was setting down a plate of steak being served so I grabbed a piece. 
I accidentally ate off of his personal plate.. 
and my brain has been on-and-off since this morning when I almost got into the wrong black SUV after dropping off Button..


I've already decided - if this cycle is BFN, I'm making two phone calls on CD1:
1. dentist (yes, the root canal I was supposed to begin/continue as soon as Button was born? *hangs head...*
still not done...

2. Tattoo shop.  
=)

Back to The Buggy List!!

Saturday, February 14, 2015

Big Reading Catch-up : Part II

So - where were we?

Oh yea -

Book #5 (of 7 that I've read) was:
Rebecca by Daphne Du Maurier (A mystery or thriller, #10 of 50) - finished on 1/27/15
I was a little hesitant on choosing this book, as it was written in the 1930's.  I had recently read The Great Gatsby (1925) and the style, of even this short novel, was dry and hard to stay interested in what was written. (scandalous, right? not liking the great F. Scott??)

This book might as well have been written in the last 10 years (outside the cultural things like a big English mansion with butlers and housekeepers...) 


When I began reading the novel (and was journaling about it at its conclusion) I couldn't remember if it was a "love story" or "mystery" category from my list... and to be honest-  it had a bit of a love story in it...

The narrator (I couldn't even think of her name after just finishing the book!) fancied herself so deeply in love with her new husband that she discovered herself willing to help him, regardless of if he was guilty of murdering his previous wife or not (she had mysteriously disappeared a few months before the narrator married him!)  Once the mystery concluded, she rejoiced at last, having previously resigned herself to run forever second string to a man's first love, tragically lost - when she learned a crucial truth of his love for her.

I love/hate the sudden ending, and in fact re-read the first many pages, a flashback from "present-time" - again in a timeless style, the reader doesn't know if it's days, months or years after the book's final events...
and did they have a happy ending, the narrator and her new husband? Did they deserve one after we learn the truth of them both??

Good mystery, never guessed the ending - doesn't quite deserve a "highly recommended" but it's definitely up there!





And since we're here:
Book #6 (of 7 that I've read) was:
Still Alice by Lisa Genova (A book that became a movie, #3 of 50) - finished on 1/29/15


So - while I could name a million books I've read that became a movie (twilight, divergent, hunger games, a bunch of james patterson books [kiss the girls, along came a spider], a bunch of nicholas sparks books [the notebook, the lucky one, dear john] and jodi picoult's my sister's keeper ((*sorry english majors and grammar nazi's, I butchered any proper listing of authors or book titles...)) ) I chose this book for this category, and now I cannot wait to watch the movie (especially after reading fabulous reviews of Julianne Moore in the adaptation).

This book, about a women diagnosed with early onset Alzheimers (which, just one word - tragic) was beautifully written.  Instinct was to say it was written from the "patient's" point of view, but this book easily accomplished something - humanizing an atrocious and merciless disease, bringing a person and a face to it... we met the family and support groups ("caregivers") behind those faces.
It also magnified the cruelty of the disease by bringing someone so far down below where they started - a Harvard PhD in, ironically, language, of all subjects.  She was rendered nearly worldless by the end - unable to name family members and objects.

The book was even written in a style that me questioning my mind, thinking at some parts, Didn't I just read this exact paragraph a few pages back?!
It so efficiently provided you even just a snippet, a quick glance into Alice and what she is/was going through.

I guess I have something with abrupt endings, as this one was as well - and when I realized ****SPOILER ALERT**** that her husband had left her in Boston and was residing in NYC, working selfishly on his own research, burdening his two daughters with caring for their mother, it made me sad - and revealed another tragedy about this disease: the ones left behind aren't always strong enough to handle it...

**Excellent book, this one IS highly recommended - can't wait to see the movie!


"Heartbreakingly real... So real, in fact, that it kept me from sleeping for several nights. I couldn't put it down...  
Still Alice is a story that must be told."                
            - Brunonia Barry, New York Times Best-selling author of The Lace Reader
 

I lied (the big Reading CatchUp Post)

(I lied the other day when I said I'd post that night - here it is Saturday and I'm getting to it...)

Also - I tested (BFN) around noon today.

Don't ask me why, I have never tested before 11DPO.  Ask me why the F*%CK I tested today at 7(ish)DPO.    

SIGH




ANYWAYS - 
BOOKS

I've read 7 books of the list of 50:
     #1 - The People of Sparks, by Jeanne DuPrau (A book set in the future, #35 of 50)
     #2 - Lone Wolf by Jodi Picoult (A book from an author you love but haven't read yet, #16 of 50)
     #3 - Leaving Time by Jodi Picoult (*decided category: a book that made you cry, #38 of 50)

and then so-far-un-reviewed:
     #4 - Big Girl Small by Rachel DeWoskin (a book by an author you've never read, #41 of 50)
                
             from Amazon.com:
                 "Judy Lohden is your above-average sixteen-year-old, with a voice that can shake an  
                 auditorium. She should be the star of Darcy Arts Academy, so why is she hiding in a seedy 
                motel room? Perhaps it has something to do with a devastating scandal---and the fact that 
                Judy is three feet nine inches tall. Big Girl Small is a scathingly funny book about dreams 
                and reality, at once light on its feet and profound."
       
       (The following is (almost) verbatim from my "book journal" - words I wrote as soon as I finished 
       the book, so SPOILER ALERTS - and alot of it may not make sense unless you've read the book)
       This book was narrated by Judy, a "little person," and for some reason, as I read, I kept picturing, not
       just a midget (like from "Little Women of LA" - crazy weird show) but The World's Smallest Women:
(who, by the way, is only 23 inches... alot shorter than the 3ft9inches in the book...)

       But this imagery made it hard to imagine certain scenes, like the "scandal" that was alluded to in the synopsis - she loses her virginity to a classmate, in a very anti-climatic manner (no pun intended!)  He seems to be using her and the scandal (that I was able to somewhat guess) erupted. This scandal (trying to avoid spoilers now actually) drove Judy to run away and hole up in a dingy hotel.
       I could palpably feel her despair, that full dread as she walked into her house the day the scandal broke, and could tell with one glance that her parents knew, and with one glance could tell that her favorite teacher knew: "The first time I felt I disappointed her..." as Judy says.
       We all strive for approval and acceptance from people - some of which we think, at the time especially, are the most important in the world.  In Big Girl Small, Judy could only see at the end, but was able to see - that the world is a much bigger place than her highschool - people are very abosrbed in their own worlds the second after they read of other people's scandals/drama.  Having experienced similar situations as Judy during my teenage-dom, and being in possesion of distance from the original situations, I can look back and brush things off, having learned that the world - even my eventual immediate world - was going to be so much bigger than whatever "small thing" had happened.
       So I was glad to read that Judy was able to recognize that her world would survive beyond this scandal, especially so soon after the scandal died down...



Outside of the book journal "review" - overall a well written book, it felt a little YA - but was a good, relatively quick read.


(and for the sake of blog entry lengths, books #5, #6 and #7 will [be continued!]

Friday, February 13, 2015

V-Day Gifts

that awkward moment when your older*, Filipino* co-worker tells you her husband gave her her Valentine's Day gift early (last night) under her pillow... What was it?
(*I specify these because she most likely (I hope!) does not know of the pop-culture reference she made...)


Her husband got her a pearl necklace....




but which kind?! 



(and if you don't understand anything but this kind of pearl necklace, god bless you...)

Thursday, February 12, 2015

First official 2ww of TFAS

BLAGH
damn those acronyms

Symptom Spotting 2015 Season has begun...

A constant slight headache that comes and goes randomly
(although that could be - is in fact most likely - from dehydration after hot yoga last night)

Frequent peeing - woke up last night! Haven't woken up to pee since 1st trimester with Button!
(but also could be from drinking water before bed with my prenatals..)

That slightly-nauseous-hunger around 12:30... and 3pm... (and craving cinamon buns two nights ago so much that I made a whole batch...)

but seriously who am I kidding - I'm (pretty sure I'm) only 6DPO. (although at the same time, "already" 6dpo? with a "typical/usual" LP of about 12 days, I'm halfway through The Wait?!)
 Feel free to stalk and analyze with me when the hell I O'd...

But this is just ridonkulous:
ZOMG I feel slightly nauseous - I totally think I'm pregnant!!! 

and then,
wow I was totally bitchy tonight to E - probably because I'm PMS'ing, as always the week before AF shows... *SIGH*

I wanna slap myself in the face...


I forgot how much I disliked this part of TTC...




**Will get a large update to you about the 2015 Reading List later tonight - I've started keeping a book journal by the bed (which is where I usually am when I finish a book!) so I can immediately jot down thoughts and reviews instead of waiting a few days (or *ahem* weeks...) and trying to remember the book and my fresh reactions to it so I can blog...

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Weading Wednesday - which category?!

I know - two posts one day! But you see, Holy mother of everything that is holy.... 

I just finished one of the best books I've ever read, and I raced over to my laptop and just HAD to do my "Weading Wednesday" entry.  Now.

Because - 

Best.
Book.

EVER.

Seriously.

 My eyes are still swollen and tear-streaked, my brain is still reeling from the ending, and I'm mourning the fact that reading this book for The First Time is officially over and can never be re-done...

The voraciousness with which I turned each page (or, flicked to the next page on my nook...) is unrivaled by nearly anything I've ever read before - certainly nothing that comes to immediate mind.


The synopsis on any bookstore/reading site will tell you that it begins with a teenager named Jenna, looking for her mother (Alice) who mysteriously disappeared 10 years prior, after a tragic accident at her elephant sanctuary...

An intriguing plot summary, to say the least.  Having loved Jodi Picoult as an author for awhile now, I didn't hesitate to add this to my must-read-list and figured I'd find some category on my 2015 Reading List to throw it into, some check box I could check once I finished it.

Reading list be damned...

Even before the most incredible ending you've ever come across in a Jodi Picoult book (and that's SAYING SOMETHING!) I was breathless at the words she used, the stories she aligned:
Between the mother's elephant research - how they grieve, the mother-daughter relationships, "all-mothering" and the training female elephants go through for years before becoming mothers themselves - and the mother-daughter relationship in absentia playing out between the main character (teenaged Jenna) who desperately searches for her mother... (although there isn't even really a typical "main" character - the chapters' narration bounces between Alice, Jenna, Serenity (a psychic who was introduced in Picoult's "Where There's Smoke" who has "lost her touch" but is helping Jenna) and Virgil (a long-retired detective who had handled the fatal accident years prior at the sanctuary).)

I teared up at an Africa elephant who, during the course of Alice's research, so preciously, tenderly and shamelessly mourned her stillborn calf - the heartbreak when the new mother realized the sad truth, and that Alice could tell alone "by the set of head, the sag of her mouth, the wilt of her ears.  [Everything about her] looked deflated..."
How familiar that feeling, how well I could empathize - recalling the soft, "I'm so sorry, I don't have good news for you..." and my own realization of the sad truth...

Another favorite quote/section of mine - so favored that I stopped reading to grab my phone and take snapshots, jotted the words down...

"If you are a mother, you must have someone to take care of. [...] If that someone is taken from you, whether it is a newborn or an individual old enough to have offspring of his own, can you still call yourself a mother?"
(and of course, my vigorous nodding - "Yes! YES YOU CALL YOURSELF A MOTHER!")


The last few chapters - thank god E was at the hockey game tonight (which was cute, I told Button Daddy was watching hockey - to which he responded, "Haw-Teeeee!")  because I bawled.  Like, ugly cried.

I threw up my hands and said, literally out loud - "WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING?!?!"

and uttered, "Oh...  Mai...  GAWD!!!!!"


and I bawled some more...



bottom line?

GO READ THIS BOOK.  



but do it alone, because you will cry your ever-loving face off..... 


((If you want an .epub version for any e-reader, let me know!))

Goalie = Pulled!

so the yummy Lundqvist, goalie-extraordinaire for the NY Rangers - will be sitting out tonight's game... ("Goalie pulled!")

 I mean - poor guy got hit with a slapshot to the THROAT during a game over the weekend!



But atually - I really meant "Goalie=Pulled" in the TTC-sense...

(not that there was a goalie since Button was born - I mean, yea I guess you have to actually have sex to get pregnant (or of course, facilitate someway for sperm to meet egg...)
and so in THAT sense, we'd "pulled the goalie"..... to be blunt, we weren't regularly gettin' in on.
Ok that's a lie - it was regular... once-a-month regular... lol)

but get this - we've "Done It" twice since last Thursday! (HUGE - if you see /\ above once-a-month! /\)

We're officially back on that horse (And I realized, technically TTCAL again...)

I'm starting to feel the flutters of nerves already - omg please be positive - what if it's not?! (SERIOUSLY, can I get any more demanding? wanting to be KTFU on the first cycle?!?!)

Anyways - I'm not temping, not testing on OPKs... just checking CM & CP (which doesn't really give cut-and-dried O dates, but at least gives me a time to know when to HumpItOut or at least settle for BDing EOD (oooooh yes.  those acronyms are back!! see glossary on side! lol)

And speaking of Rangers - E is going to a hockey game tonight with a friend, so I either force myself to stay up (fell asleep on the couch at 9:30 last night for some reason....) and wait for him to get home around midnight so we can BD, or pay attention to the fact that ye olde cervixe is LowFirm&Closed and be ok with hittin' that ass tomorrow night...

(my new challenge - as many euphemisms for, well - to be blunt again: "f*$#cking"...)