Listen..

Listen - just let me indulge my craziness for a bit, eh? Cold hard reality will set in eventually...

Tested again last night (I know, no first morning urine again...)
BFN.

another one this morning, with FMU for a change...

And as of this morning, there was no sign of AF at 12DPO (which is a "long" LP for me - AF usually shows exactly ON 12DPO...)

I was still (imagining/having?) symptoms - headache, nauseous-hunger... had to restrain myself from looking up bad batches of wondfos...
 I've got a FR (not sure if it's an FRER) that I was tempted to use this morning - but that meant I was basically calling the Wondfos liars... (unless - BAD BATCH?!)





But as of lunch today - (TMI warning? nawwww - no such thing on a TTC blog...) a CP check (not sure why I did one, lol) brought about some light brown, so it seems the crimson tide is creeping closer to shore...


And that's ok.

This is totally so different than TTC #1 (especially TTCAL - when we reached almost 18 months from the date I stopped birth control...)

That was pure desperation.  Utter knee-knocking fear when the timer went off at 5 minutes, indicating it was time to go check for those two pink lines.

Heart-pounding seconds as eyes focused in on the "test" line area on the pee stick...


Desperation.



This time, the 3-4 BFNs (but who's counting...) this week brought my shoulders a little lower, and drew a quick sigh of disappointment (but seriously?! I expected to be KTFU on the first cycle?!)

 But today, I think I'll start hydrating hardcore for my hot yoga class tonight (after which, I'll quickly shower and hopefully get to the liquor store before they close.  And if I don't make it, I believe there's a little Tennessee Jack Daniel's Honey in the freezer with my name on it...)


And tomorrow?


Buying some pom juice (can't hurt right? lol oh to quickly fall back into old TTC habits)
Buying some OPKs
Making dentist appointment (awful root canal NEEDS to get done!)
Making tattoo appointment to get a design drawn this weekend!!


Basically, some more Buggy List.

(Also - a quick Wardrobe Wednesday! (I almost totally forgot about this series... LOL))
SO these leggings, I loved them when I saw them in a funky boutique store in TX... and then they sat in a drawer for months maybe a year with me clueless how to rock them...
enter a men's dress shirt layered under a gray sweater, some riding boots and cuffs - and voila!

An actual (gratuitous) work-bathroom shot!

(Because, seriously - you try to find the right words to google
to find an image of THOSE pants!)



Also?

I made those boot-cuffs... now taking orders! =)