Mantras

So I recently came across these PGAL Mantras and I need them a lot right now (and probably for the new few weeks!!)

Today I am pregnant and I love my baby.

I am pregnant until someone tells me otherwise.

My past does not dictate my future. A previous m/c does not mean I will have another m/c.

Just because something sad is happening to another poster, does not mean it will happen to you. We all know m/c and complications are not contagious!

Hope does not make bad things happen" You cannot jinx your pregnancy by creating a ticker, getting excited, or telling someone. Live in the positive!

(actually, I AM TOTALLY MAKING THAT A HOMEPAGE TAB!)

With that said, I am so so so so grateful for the positivity from E right now...

Let me back  up first and tell you how the "cute tell" I had somewhat planned fell apart...

E had a dentist appointment yesterday at 5pm, so I headed to MIL's house to pick up Button.  Got there around 5:30, she tells me he ate dinner (THREE bowls of pasta!) and invites me to sit and eat. 
I think, CRAP - there goes getting home before E so I can pee on those digi's I just bought today!

But I sit down, eat some pasta, and watch E's adopted sisters play with Button in the backyard.  Around 6pm, we finally get in the car to head home - and I see a text from E that he is still in the chair waiting for the dentist to finish some "bullshit conversation in the hallway."

SWEET! I'll still get home before him! like, way before him! Now let's see.... what can I do to tell him in a "cute way"...

I get home, and I have a million bags to get in the house, Button is insisting on carrying in a Mickey doll and a toy car from my car, and there's Zoey (our min-pin who comes to work with me every Thursday to visit the residents!)

In other words,  utter chaos trying to get in the house... And then a text from E that he's on his way home, ETA 30 minutes...

I run upstairs (carrying Button basically over my shoulder) to PIAC - dip a Wondfo and a digi, and set the timers (5min and 3min respectively...)

Watch the "Pregnant" pop up on the digi (SQUEEEEEE!) and check for a second line (decent shade, considering it's late evening) on the Wondfo.

Then I decide to haul Button back downstairs (two flights!) to his playroom, to try and crack open a new paint set so he can make Daddy a picture that I'll try to "hide" somewhere the writing "Big Brother!"  Panic ensues because I couldn't get the damn paint open (seriously?!) and nearly spilled the red all over the carpet once I did get it open... faintly write "BigBrother" in blue crayon on the BACK of the picture and set it on the highchair in the kitchen - envisioning E picking it up and flipping it over (for some reason) and seeing the words...

Then I take a picture of the digi test (what's plainer than that gray-scale word!) to send him via text about a minute after he walks in the door, in case he skips over the painting...

Got bases covered, right?


WRONG

He arrives, my heart starts pounding with excitement, and nothing happens the first few minutes.  I HEAR my text come through on his phone, but he's too occupied with saying hi to and playing with Button... (COME ON! Be a bad dad once and check your phone!!!)

I point out the "painting" - which he does look at the back, but assumed his sisters helped Button paint and, well - he (E) is their "Big Brother" - FACE PALM!!!

Then he FINALLY picks up his phone, only to glance at it (probably sees it's just a text from me) and then plugs it in without another glance.

 SERIOUSLY?!?!?

At this point I'm about to collapse with anxiety/nerves/excitement... I am trying to be nonchalant, wandering around the house, wiping the stove, putting a dish in the dishwasher, waiting for him to discover SOMETHING...

I finally decided to just go upstairs (get a full laundry basket of dirty clothes) and bring him the actual damn digi test... and said, "Since you didn't quite get the message on the picture, and won't check your phone, HERE!!!!" (but not in a really mean way. lol)


And - aw man, he was so excited =)

and tossed Button and shouted, "You're gonna be a big brother!!!! Do you want a baby?!" (to which Button replied, "Yea!" meltsmyheart)

All this to say - E is so excited, and so positive about it - and I need the positivity, because my mind still can't help but add on the caveat "If everything works out ok..."

And he tells me, he doesn't "want to do the secrecy thing this time, because it's the second one" and I am totally on board with that because, (I CANT HELP IT DAMMIT)
 "if shit hits the fan" - I want people - family, my bestie Dee, etc - to know what was, and what happened...

Of course, I still want to wait until after the first doctor appointment (more importantly the first u/s to see/hear a hb!) which I'm hoping I can schedule the week before Mother's Day and we can tell the Grandmas the great news on their day!



Big Breath:         Today I am pregnant and I love my baby.