Winning

So this morning (just now in fact) I discovered I put on my underwear inside out.

Last night.

Winning.

TGIF. That's all.

I'm so glad it's Friday... it's been a wild past two days!

I was at a seminar for work yesterday (hence blog silence in the recent post-a-day-madness!)...

So baby had been quiet the past few days (which is just LOVELY for PgAL brain...) and Wednesday night during a trip to the movies (Olympus has Fallen - excellent movie.  Gerard Butler? *SWOON*) I noticed some BH and tried to note the times of them...

The tightening would go away very quickly and was sometimes only in one little inch square spot, so I'm wondering if some of the "BH" weren't just baby rolling around sticking out his butt or noggin...

But I wanted to keep an eye on the frequency in case I got more than 1-2 an hour...(*I know the rule of thumb is to call when you get between 4-6/hour, but hey - try to rationalize with a PgALer...)
I didn't say anything to E yet, so as not to panic him - I didn't really see the need for EITHER of us to worry, yet... They never got more frequent than 2 per hour, and basically stopped when we got home and I downed a glass of water before bed (yes, I stay very hydrated throughout the day - had to leave the movie twice for potty breaks!)

So yesterday morning I got up and got out the door (late of course) for the seminar.  The drive over had me SO FREAKING LOST in my own county - I'm sure it was like this:

So I finally walk in (10 minutes late) and grab a seat in the back and proceed to (I'm sure) annoy my neighbors by crunching on my bag of dry cereal, enjoying my banana and guzzling my water bottle.  (I also had yogurt but felt like I needed a picnic blanket or something at that point...)

I had decided the night before, if the regular BHs continued, I'd be that patient and call up the doctor... Well they happened on the hour, every hour from 8-11am during the seminar. And then came every 30-45 minutes.  I decided I'd (obviously) rather be "Safe than Sorry" in case this was PTL or anything that could POSSIBLY go wrong and called the nurse, who said no problem - we'll fit you in at 1pm.

Soooo I played hookey from the seminar's second half and took off at the lunch break... met E for a quick bite (and to let him know of Dr appt) and got to doctor's office to have weight taken, BP taken (which got an "all good" from the nurse), a urine sample (which was clear of whatever they test it for) and the barrage of questions: Any headache? Any faintness or dizziness? Any cramping? Any bleeding? Any blah blah blah

They have me undress from the waist down - and then I proceed to sit and, for lack of better description, wet the paper-covered table (not really PEE-wet, just... you know, pregnancy-discharge-wet... its awesome) while waiting 20 minutes for the doctor...

He finally comes in and, lo and behold, I get what I think's a BH and I'm like, great! here, feel! (*Because usually, you know - you go to the doctor complaining of XYZ symptoms, and you get there and the symptoms are gone...)

So he nods, and confirms my description of RLP (something different than the BH but still a pain in the ass pubic bone) and he physically checks my cervix (which was, yea - uncomfortable - what was he digging for, gold?!)

But it's all good: "very thick, long and closed" with a physical indication:

(Not my doctor... just to clarify)

Ok, PgAL brain at ease after, I'll confess, two mornings in a row of checking in on baby with the doppler...


In the meantime, my brother (who lives in Washington state with his wife of 3.5 years) has been bugging me since Sunday to Skype - because they were dying to see "the belly."

And then it hit me, as we were on the way home from the movies with a planned Skype date that night - this is how WE acted when WE had big news to announce in person - bugging and bugging them to Skype! "I bet she's pregnant!" I blurted out to E and explained my reasoning...

Why yes, yes indeed they're due September 30th - they just had a great NT scan and shared pics and videos with us!!!

And what the %**# is wrong with me that, way deep down - so far underneath the happiness I felt for them - I still feel pangs of ... jealousy? fear? envy? upset? Hello Kate - don't you REMEMBER you're 23weeks pregnant yourself?!

It's like I can't shrug off the AL me, the one that was stung by every pregnancy announcement - even through my own first 13weeks - because things could still go wrong and then you'd have daily reminders by women that aren't even as far along as YOU SHOULD BE...

Or is it that I am still jealous of couples that appear to get pregnant so easily/quickly?  Do I think that no one deserves to "get it right the first go-around?"

My brother is a private person so we only knew that SIL was off BCP when she mentioned it to my mom 2 years (or so) ago, but they also carried the tag line "We don't want kids for at least a few years..."

I know I pulled out passive statements similar to this when we were TTC - so in case it took longer than we expected, no one would really know...

I have no idea the path my brother and SIL took to get where they are at 13w.  I don't know of the journey they have taken, any roadblocks they might have encountered along the way...
I just need to remind myself (still!) that everyone's stories are different, their struggles are individual and I have no right to know them all. 

So (even though they don't read this) A HUGE CONGRATS to my big brother on his first child, I can't wait for Baby Boy to have a cousin basically his age to play with!!

(ok, thanks for following the epicness of this post... Here's some Reward Hotties - I was going to do one, but I couldn't chose!)

RDJr...	Jeremy Renner	Chris Evans	Mark Ruffalo (dont know WHAT it is - I find him SO sexy)

umm... can you tell I watched The Avengers last night?!



Happy Easter weekend y'all!!

(p.s. worked on Easter Project #2 last night - the papermache nests... after 24 hrs drying, I'll check them out tonight and will let you know how they came out!)

It never gets easier...

I hate to be the bearer of bad news to any new PgAL ladies - but this 'ish never gets easier...

PgAL brain is no joke, and I really can't say its better even now at almost 23 weeks when baby boy likes to be all Pele one day, and then quiet the next...

*Not actually Pele, but its the best "soccer kicking" GIF I could find...

The Stages of PgAL Brain
Stage I: Before the pee dries on the first HPT, you're yanking out three more - ALL DIFFERENT BRANDS - to double check...

Stage II: If you charted, you keep temping for a few days - analyzing every miniscule rise or drop - until other PgALers demand that you:

Stage III: You keep peeing on things every morning for days WEEKS to see if the second line's getting darker...

Stage IV: You check the TP (and your underwear) every. SINGLE. TIME. you're in the bathroom... (and in my case, freakthefuck out when you see red - and realize its a fuzzy from the afghan in in the living room... how the HELL did that get in there?!)

Stage V:  If you have a doppler, you begin using it around 9 weeks and try not to use it more than twice ok ONCE a day...

Stage VI: This is the REAL fun one (and where I am now) - you start to SNIFF the TP (and possibly your underwear) every. SINGLE. TIME you're in the bathroom to check for leaking amniotic fluid - you've only HEARD that it smells very distinctly sweet, but you'll be checking every trip!

HaveYOU ever fallen onto this scale?  If you've discovered a stage past VI - let me know and I'll add it!

How Egg-citing!!

(egg-citing = exciting ... cheesy. I know... I had to do it, Easter's coming!)

So one of two Easter crafts is done and crossed off the list!

E's adopted sisters (15 and 16 years old) stayed over Saturday night and we went to town!

First, blowing the eggs: I took drill bits (thanks E for the idea!) and starting with the smallest one, "drilled" by hand a hole in each end of the egg, using a progressively bigger bit for the "exit" hole...

Then it was time to "blow" - E's sisters refused to take action shots, but here's an egg draining in between "blows"...

We hurried and drained an egg to mix with our pancake batter Sunday morning, and then saved the rest of the eggs for omlettes later on... waste not, want not!

Once all 11 eggs were drilled, blown and drained, we washed them out and let them dry in the sun.

We dyed the eggs (just food coloring+boiling water+vinegar, and we followed the instructions on the food coloring box for some cool colors like Orange Sunset and Dusty Rose) and even though we had hot-glued the drill holes shut, the boiling water from the dye (DUH) melted it off, and the eggs filled with water - so we had to be careful to drain them all after the timed dip-dye...

Then it was time to decorate!! I made a few like the ones I'd seen on pinterest, and the girls did the rest (and yes, I was - and most likely still am - the kid that will point out HER eggs to everyone on Easter, to make sure they know that I did not make the painted, flower-COVERED little-kid eggs... lol)

My eggs!

Our master pieces:

"I'm sorry?"

So I had a spectacular.... disagreement? let's call it that - with E recently, about food, and not eating utter crap and junk food when its two bodies I'm nourishing...

And it escalated because basically, I eat (pretty damn) healthy all the time- at work it is yogurt and/or oatmeal for a second breakfast, fruit cups or apple sauce or grapes for snacks, healthy lunches made by the kitchen here (great job perks are the free lunches that I know are prepared with all wheat and turkey and healthy stuff, thanks to the obsessive owner!)

And all E seems to see is when I veg out on the couch after work (after emptying dishwashers, running laundry, cleaning up the kitchen - i.e. I have EARNED the right to couch-surf) and I grab a bag of chili cheese fritos (omfg the best thing ever).
But then I end up eating just one tiny handful, and then passing out! So what looks like a nom-session is really just my eyes being much bigger than my stomach:

I bring /\this/\ with me to the couch, and all I eat is \/this\/

So the argument with E was basically this:
E - all you eat is JUNK, you're feeding the baby all these processed chemicals!
K - I am at work 45 hours a week, you don't see what I eat there - it's all seriously healthy!
E - just look at this MASS of junk food you bought last shopping trip
K - and just look - in TWO WEEKS since I bought this all:  both bags of BBQ goldfish are unopened, the small bag of fritos is only HALF GONE, the GirlScout cookies (damn them and their stands at the exits!) are unopened! (in other words - I've barely eaten ANY of it in the past TWO WEEKS)
E - blah blah blah
K - YOU DON'T KNOW ME!


Yea, I dunno - he laughed at that last one...

Anyways - as I stomped around up in our bedroom later (SLAM - does he HEAR how angry he made me?! CRASH!) I remembered my brother's wedding three and a half years ago...

We were sitting in church during the service and listening to the minister discuss marriage and the secrets to it... he said, the most important words to keep in mind - AND USE! - are "I'm sorry..."

He went on to say that its the key to a successful relationship - to be able to come to the other person and just say, "I'm sorry... I'm sorry we're fighting..."

And then E and I spent the rest of the trip giggling and saying "I'm sorry!" every two minutes...
But yes, the point of the message DID sink it - I know the concept, I understand it - but I CAN. NOT. bring myself to ever utter those words after we fight/argue/disagree...

Thanks mom for the stubborn German genes...

As I seethe and steam, I know in my head that the best way to move forward is an "I'm sorry..." I just can't seem to ever spit out the words... (hey and neither can he - we ARE both Leo zodiac signs - not that I quite believe in all that stuff, but in this case we both DEFINITELY have the stubborn streak!)

"You're an ass..."

"No, YOU'RE an ass!"

And god help us - baby boy will make three Leos... under one house...

I'm gonna get t-shirts made...


How do you and your spouse resolve fights? (If you do at all!)

step 1 ...

... in the big 2013 Easter Craft Attempt!

Will be heading to the mothers of all craft stores (Michaels and Joann Fabrics!) to get started on my next big endeavors! 

and these visits are slightly dangerous - I have a coupon for Michaels: 20% off your entire order (including sale items!)

and at Joann Fabrics, I'm going to try to pick out a fabric to base my nursery decor on (eek! It took me 3 months to dress the windows in our dining room because I couldn't make up my mind!)

(And yea, the natural progression of shopping goes from:)
 Joyce Leslie/Forever 21/insert tween store here*
to Ikea (because hey, cheap stuff for your first apartment!)
to HomeGoods and Home Depot and BedBath&Beyond
to Michaels and fabric stores....

oh the joys of growing up... lol


*And F21 fans, don't take offense to the "tween label" - I just bought a bag full of sale items there last weekend!

Housewivery - Easter Prep!

I started out college and pre-relationship living on ramen and mac'n'cheese...

Thank GOD E enjoys - or at least doesn't MIND cooking, otherwise we'd be a pretty lean couple!

I've recently started really digging into the "house-wivery" - I made a chicken and pasta dish the other night that rivals first class restaurants! (no pics, but it was a cream-based pink sauce with chicken and penne - it was so freaking yummy, it's on my favorite recipes list...)

and ok, so yes - I cheated JUST A LITTLE BIT.  I used one of these suckers...

But I still added the fresh chicken, and fresh tomatos and fresh cream!

Admit, it's a long way from Kraft mac'n'cheese! E was very proud!



So I'm embracing this house-wife stuff and getting ready to host the inlaws for Easter - it's going to be 11 people... *gulp*

I hosted last year, but had my mom visiting (from TX) to help prepare my first big meal of ham and all the fixings... Last year was also the announcement (at 6 weeks! oh the naivety) of our first pregnancy... So this year is different in a few ways...

So, I've added to my crammed-full ever-expanding list of pinterest/craft projects and have decided I WILL get these done this year for Easter!
(What usually happens is I get bored at work, flip through The Craft To-Do List and go - OH CRAP! I wanted to do that at Easter a month ago! dammit!)

Here's the plan:
I'm making blown-out (is that the term? like a hair blow out? lol) eggs this year for the table!
And then I'm making paper-mache nests for those awesome malt-ball robins' eggs!*

*Ok so to be realistic, we'll see on this paper mache... Easter is in about 9 days... But these will make good projects to work on while E is upstairs working on the bathroom!

Happy ICLW!

Welcome ICLWers!
I have enjoyed participating in ICLW in the past, but "dropped out" when I had my most recent BFP. I think I felt guilty, even though it's a PgAL (Pregnant After Loss) blog, because I remember how hard it was to see other women's success stories past my own loss.  So if its something you don't feel you're up to reading, please don't - step away, take care of and treat yourself well, first and foremost!

The not-that-long story even less-long:
I went off BCP in May of 2011 and after uncharted wonky cycles for 7 months (breakthrough bleeding every CD14??) I had a SIS (or Saline Infusion Sonogram) that showed a clear uterus and clear tubes. Two cycles later, a BFP (which was a year ago this past Tuesday...) that ended in a missed miscarriage at 11.5weeks (baby measured 8weeks).   After the recommended two cycle break, another three cycles brought us BFP #2 - which has led to today, where I hit 22 weeks with our baby boy, due in almost exactly four months.

I started this blog as a "Buggy List" - things to do during the TTA time that I couldn't do once pregnant (like a day of hooky and the biggest baddest coasters at Six Flags!) and things that would be nice to do before "baby comes" - like weekly cocktail hours with the girls and last minute hot-yoga groupons.

And now its become sort of a "Hurry up and get things done" list!

We're remodeling bathrooms... and repairing+repainting guest bedroom walls (results of bathroom remodel!)... and repairing+painting a nursery (results of bathroom remodel!)... and trying to fit in "pre-baby" family vacations (which we've discovered is nearly impossible with "I can't take off work!" and "I'm not flying there!" and "I'm not spending 3 hours in the car!" and "I don't WANT to go there during that month!")

I'm married to a firefighter, so life is never calm - add in two fur-babies who like to create havoc as well, and its a recipe for a near-disaster that somehow ISN'T a disaster...

Welcome to The Buggy List!

big brother - Rocco	The Baby - Zoey

Hanging on...

Its the work-week from hell...

Worked til 7 last night, will probably be here late today and tomorrow as well with two big deadlines tomorrow.... (That were sprung on me 10 days prior...)

I'm even drinking pomegranate juice and water from wine glasses, for the "omfg-what-a-day" mentality...

Tomorrow's 22weeks - just two more til Vday! And a bump shot for prosperity:

two days ago at 21w4d

Cant fool these babies!

(Just a quick laugh cuz its FRIDAY!)
Today I'm heading to Atlantic City straight from work for some much needed RELAXATION!

21 weeks!

How did we get to a point where there's more weeks behind us than there are before us?!
21weeks down, 19 to go...

He's definitely calmed down, movement wise - enough that I've dusted off the doppler in the last week!  (Baby, you better not start freaking out your momma this early in life! There's enough time for that later! KICK!)

I keep having to re-read and remind myself that this is perfectly normal, and that movement shouldn't really become consistant for another couple of weeks...

We're also (hopefully) about halfway done with our bathroom remodel!
(I think we're halfway done labor-wise, not over-all-time-line wise... now that the plumber's gone and done his repiping of things, E can work at his leisure - i.e. SLOWLY - to start rebuilding the bathroom...)

A "Before" shot of our closet bathroom

Notice the LOVELY plywood tank-cover on the back of the toilet...

That would be due to the wall-shelf unit crashing down one day - scaring THE BEJESUS out of me - about a week after I got my BFP - so some used Wondfo barely-there-liners may or may not have fallen in the toilet... lol

Before                -->                     After	Before                    -->                   After                           (minus the wall that WAS the nursery!)

The view from the other side of that wall!

This is looking in from the nursery

A wall will be put up at the edge of the carpet...


And then it's time for me to step in and paint (while well-ventilated)!

Busy at work!

Brought Zoey to work today for company because the plumber and his team are at the house (with E) doing all bathroom remodeling stuff -
and she would be underfoot all day...

She is a great help with the filing...

&*#@$ !!!!!

Today can go SUCK IT...

(it actually started last night when I discovered Zoey had peed - ON OUR BED - which soaked through the comforter (needs to be dry cleaned), both sheets, AND the mattress protector!)

1. it's a dark and dreary rainy day - so normal wakeup time feels like the ass-crack of dawn
2. E asks me to take the dogs out because he's running late to work (and he had been up until 2am working on bathroom demolition!)  So when out with the dogs, I spend 15 minutes waiting but Zoey won't poop - which makes me nervous considering her poop-in-crate history...
4. I step in dog sh*t while trying to get her to poop... LOVELY.
5. I decide to feed the dogs first, then re-attempt the pooping with Zoey (you know the theory - new food pushes out old?)
6. After spending another 15 minutes in the rain (poop-success, HALLELUJAH!) I am now 30 minutes behind schedule..
7. After a quick shower, I am thrilled to already have an outfit picked out - momma sent me a maternity shirt and three dresses yesterday in the mail! Except.... Zoey had peed all over them.
8. I realize half-way through the work day - as I'm starting to sweat at the copy machine (copying/scanning documents for that awesome lawsuit) that, oh YES - I forgot deodorant this morning...

ORIGINAL CATHY	Modern-day Interpretation, courtesy Andy Samberg and SNL

HANGOVERS still?? ...zzzzz...

I feel like such a zombie this morning - I think it's the combination of the time change and our crazy busy weekend...

For instance - Friday, as soon as I got home (very late) from a long work day, we ran out for dinner with my SIL and her husband...
Saturday morning we got up early to register (first time in person! meaning, I've only so far done crazy registering online when I'm supposed to be working) at Target for the Texas baby shower in less than a month...
From there we went to a warehouse to order the vanity and counter top for the master bathroom (some wicked before/progress shots to come!).

We grabbed a quick bite from Burger King (stayed healthy with their fruit smoothies!) and then trolled Home Depot for sink and shower faucets (oh my GAWD of course the ones we like would be $500 total....) and the new toilet.

AND THEN we ran home and started getting ready for a 10-year anniversary work party for E's company - cocktail fancy, and bar after-party... I'm proud to say I had the energy to stay and dance and be the DD for E only because I loaded up for a sugar high (3 sticks of cotton candy + high-piled platefuls at the dessert hour... yummmmm)

But then Sunday morning I felt HUNGOVER - complete with slight headache, dry mouth and queasiness!  I thought I got away from all that when the alcohol consumption stopped - boooo!! (It was probably all the sugar lol)

Anyways - tons of crap to do at work the next two weeks - the UGLY LAWSUIT has reared its head again, I've got two seminars and a cost report due a week from Friday... E is just as busy at home getting the bathroom demolition'ed for the plumber to come start his work...

Dare I say it - I can't wait for the baby to come so we can SLOW OUR LIVES DOWN!

Head Over Heels...

...In love with this face:

He's already got the position down for breast feeding!

And based on this morning's anatomy scan (during which we had no clue we'd get a peek at him in 4D!), he's already perfect... From his 10 tiny toes to the top of his "average size" head (I made sure to ask, saying to E "I am pushing him out of a hole this big - I get to ask these things!")
He is a perfect 14oz - "Almost a pound!" I said to E, after confirming with the nurse a whispered "16oz is a pound, right?!"

And then at the monthly doctor's appointment, the official results from the 2nd screening (the bloodwork they took at 16w that I have no recollection of... go pregnancy brain lol)
We are 1:10,000 for trisomy and DS - and those are the lowest odds "they" give, we were told! Mommy and Daddy are happy!*

*The morning DID start out pretty rough... we figured we'd allow 45 minutes to travel (in the snow) what normally takes 20, in two separate cars so we could head in opposite directions to work after the appointments.

Well first - (remember my uphill driveway?!) we battled to get my car to the street.  The battle left me tear-stained and frustrated, after I kept saying "E we dont have TIME to be screwing around with this!"  We could have (SHOULD HAVE!) just left my car in the nice warm garage, and gone in his 4WD truck.
Because after getting my car to the street, E said he didn't want me driving my car in the snow, even to work, so it's now sitting out on the street in the snow, where it HOPEFULLY (*knock on wood PUH-LEASE) won't get hit by a car sliding down the street!
And - we were 25 minutes late to the maternal fetal medicine office.  And I considered it all E's fault - so the ride over was a bit chilly...

Nothing like a cute little baby to warm it up though:

Half baked, half crazed!

IT has arrived.

140 days down, 140 days to go...

(Oh and do you see that? 1 day left until our anatomy scan1!)

I'm half baked.

/\ That's my "OMFG!" dance...

Here we are, 50% through the pregnancy.  I know I've used the word before, but everything just feels so surreal.  I feel my baby boy kick throughout the day... E has felt him from the outside (and is dying for more - if you're listening baby!)

We have baby clothes in the house!

THE cutest little leggings

a thrift store find - they're Carter's - and were only $0.49!!!

And we're slowly (like, at a snail's pace, slowly) getting the nursery started:

Our first official purchase for baby!

Our "drawing board" for designs so far:

*And yes, I made the above in Microsoft Paint... =P I'm leaning towards the darker turqoise swatch on the left!	(so far the only) bedding I really like

And step one toward having the nursery is done, is refurbishing our master closet bathroom!
That's step one because we'll be breaking a wall into the current nursery to expand the bathroom:

So only once the new wall is up can we start painting and moving furniture into the nursery... E keeps saying we have "so much time!" But I have a feeling the summer is going to be here before we know it...

And alot of the demolition and construction will be done by E, his dad and a buddy of his who is a contractor (to save a ton of moola, we're only hiring a plumber to move all the plumbing - toilet, shower, double sinks) so it's going to go according to our schedule - so we should be done, oh, by July!!

And one last pic in this image-heavy post:

19w6d

Bump-tastic!