Wednesday, September 26, 2012

10 Reasons...

..why I DO NOT want to go to dinner tonight at (former) BFF's new "house" -

1.  FIRST AND FOREMOST - she is 27w pregnant (and HUGE)
2. she wasn't charting at all - and got pregnant - and wasn't taking PNVs before finding out... but everything's JUST FIIIINE now....
3. she is SMUG about her pregnancy: she emailed me at one point to make sure I "would be comfortable coming to dinner at their new house soon..."  I said, "pshaw - of course, why wouldn't I be? silly bitch..."
the real reason I WILL be uncomfortable is because we haven't spoken for months, not because she's pregnant, though she delightly decided to remind me of that, "Well I wasn't sure - you know, my hormones are all over the place lately."
4. one BFP and she's a pro on how to TTC: when she was pregnant the first time (a 2 day chemical P) we were at a baby shower together, and little did I know I was about to ovulate for MY BFP that weekend, but I had a glass of wine.  And smarmy pregnant BFF tells me, "You know, maybe you should try NOT drinking at all during your cycle!"   From the gal that was SHITFACED one week prior at her birthday party...
5. She got pregnant the very next cycle after her CP, which put her about 4 weeks behind my pregnancy - which means every time I hear how far along she is, I can easily calculate and remember where I SHOULD be.
6. After my mc, she pulled the "It's God's plans" card - even though she IS NOT IN ANY REMOTE WAY religious.  She also blurted out, "Well next spring is a better time to have a baby anyway - you didn't want to spend this summer all fat and pregnant..."
7. She believes (and by default, her husband also believes now) that what happened to them is basically the same thing as what happened to us.  I hope I'm not stirring up sh*t here, BUT - a c/p DOES NOT EQUAL a missed miscarriage at 11WEEKS!  I have conversations in my head where I can scream at her, Did you have to have YOUR uterus scraped clean of a dead fetus because your body wouldn't get rid of it on it's own??
8.  She tried to tell me after this, to "buck up - my mom just really wanted me to tell you that she went through the same thing at 12 weeks, and she ignored her doctor's advice, and got pregnant with me the VERY NEXT cycle!"

Even Michelle thinks she deserves the stink-eye for that!

9.  Ok non-pregnancy related, but it drives me crazy - She tries to convince our friends that renting a house is SO MUCH better than buying one... Sorry - let me know how you feel in 10 years from now when you've thrown $180K DOWN THE DRAIN, and we are pretty much over 1/2way to owning our home. 
I like to think that she's just trying to make herself feel better for being poor, having shitty credit, and never being able to borrow $ for a house...
10.  Did I mention she's 27w pregnant and SMUG?!

Ok Ok - Silver Lining time - 5 things I won't MIND about tonight...
1. I'm gonna be all hawt and skinny in my skinny jeans and stilettos.  and I'll be hawt.
2. She's NOT gonna be hawt!! She's seriously PACKED ON THE POUNDS and still has a loooong way to go... (Remember the elbow dimples?! Can't wait to update you all on how deep they got!)
3. with our new dog, at least there's something else that can be talked about besides her pregnancy, their new "house", her new mom vehicle -

ok who am I kidding...

tonight's gonna suck...

1 comment:

  1. I sincerely can not wait to see how bad the elbow dimples have gotten. I'm going to be sitting on pins and needles until you update us!!!