Another Turning Point, a Fork stuck in the road...

i've found myself all of a sudden in a new frame of mind, as if I threw away the road map and decided to just drive - and found the world's most delectable little hidden treasure of a town with old-fashioned drive-in theaters and malt shops and laden antique stores with just that perfect chair you've been looking for. 

and i think it happened during yoga on the beach this past weekend.  yup.  yoga on the beach with the sun rising over the ocean.  not to get all existential, but it was so incredible to open your eyes, after the first few breathes that came up from your diaphragm and flowed all the way out the top of your head, and see the gleaming waves crashing over an empty beach.

this new hide-away i've found is carefree.  it's like keywest where you can carry your beer down the street in the open.  it's like the shorehouse in seaside where every clock we put in, new batteries be damned, stops working in less than a week.  (true story.) 

and about this whole TTC thing - its not that i just dont care any more...  its more that i came to the decision that i believe there's a storyline already written for us all, the pages have just yet to be turned.  whether its page 2 or page 200 where the dragon is slain - it's already set it motion.  the ink is dried on the hidden pages, you just have to get there. 

your first reaction is to start skim-reading, and skipping past unimportant chapters...  but there's your mistake, your big downfall.

if you read too fast, if you skim past the small parts - if you drive past those hidden treasure towns - you're gonna miss the most important parts.

you're gonna miss life.

but don't stop following the story - there's still going to be interesting parts: high temps, positive OPKs, and 2wws.  there's going to be life : beach days, martinis with the girls and bachelorette parties, hot yoga, camping with friends.

if you're always looking too far forward, if you're always trying to rush through to get THERE, you're gonna miss NOW.

hell yea, the next chapter is gonna be big.  it's gonna be epic and it's gonna be life-changing in that things will NEVER be the same.  you and your husband will never be just the two of you again... or the two of you plus doggie...

and god, yes,  i'm anxious for it to be three of us, plus doggie.  i AM wanting to lick and dampen my thumb to start flipping madly through the pages until i get to the "good part."

but my sunday-morning beach-yoga breathe-in-the-goodness epiphany:
THIS IS the good part.  it's ALL the good part.