Thursday, September 3, 2015

(late) 23weeks

I started notes for this post on Monday... I know. it's now Thursday...

E and I also had a fight over the weekend about viability (when I told him we're 23 weeks, one more until viability and explained what that meant)

He basically said, "no. NO hospital would refuse life-saving treatment on a baby just because they didn't meet 'viability' " and said that people would be rioting at hospitals if they didn't try to save a baby born at 22 weeks, just because they weren't at viability.

I couldn't even attack that with him, I gave up (as I've discovered myself doing in the last few weeks) saying, "you know what? you're right.  You're totally right."
(could he sense my sarcasm?)

Because, fucking really?!? Would you like, DH, to speak with moms who did lose their babies born prematurely? Because hospitals do have "policies" (for lack of better term) regarding when they are required to perform life-saving measures and when they're not... and that shit does happen in real life - women go into labor early, and no - doctors may not be able to do anything to save the baby!!!! 

Would you like to ask those moms, DH, why they did not "riot and picket at their hospital" because the hospital only performed comfort care????

I just really couldn't even with him that day... 
((It's really become apparent to me that we both like to fight - and I can't keep doing it, it's exhausting.  Hence the recent trend of just "giving up."  Is that bad? that I'm choosing not to fight anymore? I want to, it's just almost always a losing situation, and then we both walk away steamed and pissed at the other person. (and I can hold onto that for hours)))


So a late 23week check-in (at 23w4d):

23 Weeks!
  • She's forming little nipples (yeah, really!)
  • Her face is fully formed now — she just needs a little extra fat to fill it out.
  • She's listening to your voice and your heartbeat — and even to loud sounds like cars honking and dogs barking. (sorry baby for all the road-rage outbursts... I can't stand NJ drivers!!!)
  • Swollen ankles and feet (it's totally normal, but call your doc if it's extreme or sudden!) actually no swelling here... so far!
  • Braxton Hicks contractions. Be sure to drink plenty of water and change positions frequently to stay comfortable. no noticeable BH... trying to stay hydrated!
  • Aching back -- sorry, but this will likely linger for a while. off & on - I can actually feel pelvic/coccyx shifting with each step I take down the stairs! blugh
  • Bleeding and/or swollen gums, common because of (you guessed it) pregnancy hormones. yup yup yup - every time I floss I bleed now... (also totally need to get to the dentist before 2nd tri is over...)
Best Moments This Week: Lost of kicks from baby girl, and in fact - Button got to feel baby sister give a few hi-yah's the other night! (at 23w1d)

Total Weight Gain: eh I'm gonna guess between 12 and 14 lbs... kind of just barely loosely keeping track now... Mostly trying to not go crazy-food-binge-ing and trying to get out walking at least a few times a week...

Maternity Clothes: totally in (except for maxi skirts.  regular (even flowy) tanks don't quite reach now!)

Symptoms: lots of kicks (and mood swings)

Sleep: Each night now I'm waking up at least once per night. not necessarily to pee, but just - waking up... thankfully I get back to sleep relatively quickly (after a few pillow adjustents)

Food Cravings: nothing really crazy - it can change hour to hour...

Anything making you queasy or sick:  No

Movement: Lots still!

Stretch Marks: Still just ones I had on my hips from highschool...

Gender: Baby Girl!!

Labour Signs: none yet. (though at my OB appt yesterday, I mentioned the difficulty I'd been having trying to discern what's regular for discharge, odors (if any), color, itching, etc. and of course, she "took a peek" only to discover I have a "slight Y.I." but we'll wait until the culture results come back tomorrow to be sure before starting any treatment... UGH fun.  first ever diagnosed Y.I...

Belly Button In or Out?: In (never turned out last time either)

Wedding Rings on or off?: On

Happy or Moody?: omg so moody... it doesn't help that, during a very calm normal discussion about date night and sitters for Ben and if there's time to do dinner and a movie, E pulls the "I'm not discussing this while you're in a mood."
um.  what fucking mood? ok, NOW I'm in a mood because of that stupid comment! (guys should be forced to move out during a pregnancy...)

Purchases for baby: I don't think I've made any recently... trying to hold off on purchases, as I've heard lots of friends (especially all my boy moms!) talk about how excited they are to shop for a little girl... =)

Purchases for Momma: None recently... I am getting excited for the fall weather - it'll feel like I bought a new wardrobe when I can bring out my maternity corduroys and sweaters that I have!

Miss Anything?: to be honest? drinking... there have been so many work days lately (today included so far) where I really want a nice martini at the end of the day (or like today, where I wonder how socially acceptable it would have been to go home at lunch and get a drink...)
ohmygod I sound like an alcoholic... lol

Looking forward to: this December, really! I can't wait to meet baby girl!!

Also - how do you know a purse belongs to a pregnant toddler-mom?

you find extra underwear right next to a toy police car...

(I also otally meant to do a weekend re-cap of our recent play-dates but with the viability argument, this post got too long... maybe a picture-heavy post later...)


  1. Urg, that viability argument would have me frustrated too. I'd ask him "would they have a 12 week fetus? Or would they know that it's not viable at that point?" I agree that they have to draw the line somewhere. In the future we may have the technology to save more premature infants, but watching what my old roommate's baby is going through after being born at 24 weeks I know that he was extremely lucky to be here. He still has a breathing tube, in and out of the hospital for respiratory infections, is now finally on the regular scale for comparison instead of premie - he's at 4% for weight for kids his age.

    People don't riot hospitals because doctors can't physically perform these life saving procedures. The baby is just simply too small at before 24 weeks. It's a huge deal to make it to V-Day.

    I sympathize with you! I hate it when arguments like this happen.

  2. Not that I advocate fighting (and trust me, I know what you're talking about when you say you'd rather just give in sometimes), but you can tell your husband that my sons were born at 22 weeks and the hospital gave us a choice in whether to try to save them or not, but most hospitals would NOT give us that choice. We just happened to be in one of the best hospitals in the state. And I was surprised that they gave us that choice. They told us they respected our decision - our boys had less than a 1% chance of survival (and if they did survive, would have a lifetime of profound disabilities and issues). So, anyways, you're totally right. No one was required to do anything for them.


    Anyways, hope you dont have a y.i.!!! I had them during pregnancy and omg. What a pain in the ass.