After spending yesterday rolling my eyes at the (unintentionally) cruel FBook statuses of "You don't know true love until you're a mother!"** followed by - "I became a mother when I looked into my babies' eyes" and "Happy Mother's day to all my moms out there!" I've decided I'm still not sold on this day, another Hallmark payday...
**I see these throughout the year, they are the worst thing ever written and are complete and total bullshit and I will never, ever post anything as cruel as this. (If I do, slap me upside the head and ask, seriously?!)
You see, last year - Mother's Day was the last day I was blissfully unaware that my body no longer held two beating hearts. Literally the last day.
Monday morning I called out of work, and called into the doctor, freaked out by brown spotting and the drop of symptoms I finally found myself acknowledging.
24 hours after I sat and opened up a "Mother-to-be" card with family, I sat on a table with cold u/s gel running down my side, and warm tears running down my face.
This Wednesday will mark exactly one year...
So this Mother's Day, I was (and am) especially and acutely aware of fellow loss-moms: whether they have outside rainbow babies, or whether they're daring to dream for an EDD that's around the corner, or whether they're ticking down days until a big milestone - halfbaked, 2nd/3rd tri, or biggest yet - a previous loss milestone...
Or whether they're staring in shock (exuberance, hope, can't-breathe-ness) at two pink lines...
Or whether they're reading friends' Fbook statuses and cringing, crying and wondering WHEN THE HELL IS IT MY TURN?!
It's now - a mother is created not at a delivery, and not when she peers into her offspring's eyes - but the instant when she begins to love, even more than herself, another being- an idea, a dream.
When she sees two pink lines...
When she stays up late with a sick dog (here's to my fur-mommas!) and worries HERSELF sick...
When she loves and cares for someone else's children as if they were her own...
(I feel like this sounds like one of those Budlight commercials - "Here's to you, guy-who-changes-the-score-board, without you - we wouldn't know what the score was!")
But - here's to my mommas who know that, despite the stupid things people post, they already know true love.
Next up, after our son arrived in July 2013, were the items to cross off while baby was, well - a baby!
After a brief foray back on the TTCAL-train, we welcomed our daughter December 2015!
This is our BUGGY List story!
A-FREAKING-MEN. I think I did a good job blocking those biotches from my feed this last year with those self-righteous statements. As cute/sweet as it is, I still hate that this mother's day was celebrated by calling me a "future" mom (sorry DH, but yeah...) and my family calling it an "almost" mothers day for me.
ReplyDeleteI get the sentiment, I do. But it's bullsh*t that some people still see our motherhood status with an asterisk.
Amen! I completely avoided Facebook last year because I knew it would be awful. I wasn't expecting this year to suck, too, but it really did. However, this year, I made a point of not letting stuff slide.
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