so now, I've decided to dedicate an entire blog entry to try and lighten the load a bit!
Things I think but would never say out loud:
1. This is the initial post that inspired this entry...
To be honest this needs some back story so bear with - my BFF had a chemical pregnancy about 2 weeks before I found out I was pregnant. I did my best to be there: brought hot pink nail polish and came over and gave her a rockin' mani, brought chicken noodle soup, etc. (obviously, I also let her talk about it, or whatever she wanted to, and listened and hugged her and said "I'm sorry" -before you think I'm a heartless b*tch that only cares about cuticles...
What I DIDN'T do? pull the crap lines like "it was god's intention."
*That line actually came flying at me out of her CRAPTASTIC mouth when she was trying to "do HER best" after my miscarraige.
*Another fantastic zinger from the understanding BFF, who's now pregnant and due 3 weeks later than I was?
"At least you won't be fat and hot this summer!"
GENIUS, really... I may have gotten a high school diploma and (nearly, as in 3 credits short) gotten a bachelor's degree, but WHY didn't I think of that?!? stupid stupid stupid me...
SO - what I thought but for some reason didn't say out loud (and kinda really wish I'd had the balls at the time):
4. "Hunny, there's nothing more I want to do than to make sure you have enough clean underwear and socks. And of COURSE I don't mind doing that on top of all the dishes from the mess you made, making dinner, and scrubbing the toilets!" ***HEAAAAAVY SIDE EYE***
5. Not all people have attractive children. In fact, some of them tend to look like Gollum...
As much as you love them, your kids have buggy eyes and the million pictures you post FREAK ME OUT! (kinda like the movie a Bug's Life freaks me out... no joke...)
6. to stupid, timid coworker - "I really appreciate that you just let me walk around all day with a giant whole in the crotch of my pants. Extra breeze ended up being awesome- I was hot anyways. Thanks."