Friday, December 14, 2012

The fBFF Saga

So you all (probably) know my acronym fBFF - former BFF.

We were "Besties" for a few years, MOH's in each other's weddings (in fact I was her only bridal party, how fun THAT was planning - AND PAYING for - an entire bridal shower by myself.  just awesome)

But then, she had a CP two weeks before I found out I was pregnant last time, and she was fine - came over excited to hear about my first appointment, brought a "care package" with lemons drops for nausea, Mama Bee belly butter, etc...

And then she got pregnant.

And then I had a miscarriage.

And then she was an utter twat- 

Failed to ever reach out again afer texting me the week of the D&C.

Raved on about how far she was, and her first appointment when I finally thought, if I dont pull up my BGPanties - and asked HER, 1 week post MY D&C, how SHE was doing in her just-fine-pregnancy

Said things like:

*I'm sure you're being barraged by texts and "I'm sorries" but I just want you to know that miiiine mean the most!
*I know you're sad and this was a traumatic experience, but you want a healthy baby and it was in god's hands.  and you will get pregnant again (I think sooner than you think!)
*(when I told her, no - I had SURGERY and we have to wait a few months) I know it sucks - at least you won't be fat and uncomfortable this summer... april/may is a nice time to have a baby.
*(on my birthday, when really, I think, the day should be about the birthday girl) Happy Birthday - BABY [fBFF] IS A BOY!!!!

So you can probably understand how the relationship soured... Yea, it takes two to tango - I haven't reached out to her, but neither did she - even in the weeks following, as she put it, "what WAS a Traumatic Experience."  (She used this term no more than 3 days after the D&C)

So I'm bitter.  I'm annoyed that, throughout any time she needed a friend (her father died, her brother's baby mama caused drama (shocker right?) or when she liked a guy THAT WAS ALREADY ENGAGED ** spoiler alert, the engagement was broken off - she is now married to said guy) I was there.  I would come over and just sit and cry with her when she needed to sort through her father's things and needed someone to say "c'mon, these you can keep, but really? used tissues?!I love you, but GARBAGE!"

It took me this whole experience to realize that it was the first time I needed someone to be there. 

And she wasn't...

And I realized, I felt no gaping hole in my life when she was gone from it... When I grabbed the phone to call someone for help, or a shoulder, or for a much-needed girls' night - not once did I go for her number... not once did I ever "miss" that I didn't have her...

So.  Here we are about 8 months later.  And she is scheduled for a c-section next Wednesday.

And I was grateful for that timing because, well - here's my schedule for the next 6 days (while working full time and preparing for being out of the office for almost two weeks!):
Friday - heading to NYC as soon as home from work to stay with My Muffin
Saturday - Christmas shopping, and a big Fire Department dinner with E and the new fire department
Sunday - finishing up shopping, and Christmas drinks/cakes at SIL's house to exchange gifts (round 1)
Monday - finishing up shopping for MY family
Tuesday - NEXT U/S! And the second of two company holiday parties, this is an obligatory one I have to attend as CFO...
Wednesday - Exchanging gifts (round 2) AT OUR HOUSE (hence need for house cleaning, and getting party-ready) with ILs and must pack for 9am departure for TX...

So when E said he's going to the hospital to see fBFF and family Wednesday, I was a little surprised (as his schedule is basically the same thing) and said as much - "Not to be mean, but REALLY - do we have TIME for that??"

And he called me bitter, blah blah blah.

I have to admit, I'm glad that I'm so busy I can say, "I'm really just juggling a million things and can't make it!"

But I know fBFF is going to sit there and think, while E is there seeing them with his abundance of extra time that day (?!??!?!!) "What a selfish twat couldn't even come to the hospital to see someone who wasn't a friend to her at all when one was needed the most - she's just so jealous I was pregnant!"

*sigh* I think the Saga's gone on long enough, and was not near as much enjoyment as the T.wilight Saga... so I'm ready to close the book on this one... except I have to see them at SOME point, and tell them about the pregnancy - and she'll pretend to be all excited, and I could care less...


  1. Ugh how sucky! She does not sound like a true friend at all! I say skip the hospital trip! who cares what she thinks! She's not a real friend!

  2. I say skip the hospital trip as well. And boy oh boy, once (ONCE!) my husband dared to call me bitter and I got SO angry I let him really have it. We're the ones that carried our babies and I know that it's their baby too but they just don't have the emotional attachment that we do. And that is not very nice of him to say that when he has no idea what you've been through (I mean, he does, but at the same time doesn't, if you KWIM).