New Dog - New Tricks (10 months!)

This 10-month-old puppy learned a new trick this weekend...

I sat on the couch in hysterics yesterday as she yanked down the neck of my shirt... took a gander around, grabbed the edge of my bra and peeked inside....

"NIPPLE!" you could see it register in her brain, and she lunged for it, open-mouthed...


Weight: 16-6.5oz (we got weighed on the 12th - can't remember if I posted, but daycare called that day around noon saying she'd woken up from her nap with a 102.6 fever (taken under arm, which supposedly still needs a degree added to be accurate, so 102.5-103.5) and so I grabbed her, and went to the doctor where we discovered girl's first ear infections.  YUP plural - one in each ear... we just finished our 10 days of antibiotics this weekend!))

Height:(last measured at 9m - 27.5")

Eating: Everything still - except the Stage 3 chicken noodle stuff... lol won't eat it past a few bites... but loves her yogurt and banana in the morning.  Has gotten the hang of the sippy cups (she bites mostly, but can take down 2oz of milk FAST!) and gets her whole milk from there during the day (still nurses twice daily: morning as we get ready and right before bed)
I basically only send Stage 3 baby foods as a backup to daycare - she loves the food they prepare and offer - chicken lo mein last week! The baby food is for days like today - lunch is quesadillas which aren't so baby friendly...
We're also (still!) finishing up the freezer stash - I send a bag maybe twice a week, they mix it still (I think lol) with cow's milk... I definitely think she gets majority WCM at daycare, but whatev's - that means the BM lasts longer I guess.... just three bags left in the freezer!!!
Her favorite food may be cut up grapes and strawberries! (and her puffs... it could be mid-meltdown, but you shake the puffs container and she is hypnotized!)
** (I sent 3.5oz to a jewelry-gal, excitedly awaiting a necklace and some other pieces she's doing for free, as a "tester" for some new styles and metals she got!!!) 

Sleep: She's pretty much on one nap now (ugh) which is usually 1.5-2 hours, except yesterday when she only napped for under an hour... blugh
But as I said with Button, I guess I can't complain about naps when she sleeps 12 hours every night (basically without fail...)

Wearing: Size 3 diapers... we tried a 6M sleeper (Momma's in denial when it comes to cleaning out the drawers of clothes that are too small... she's ten months now!!) and it was basically a boat-neck/off-the-shoulder lol
so, 9M clothes - and even those pants can be a bit too short... ack!
(I just got a lot of 30+ pieces of 12M girl stuff off of Mercari for $20! so it's not like she doesn't have clothes to fit her... lol)

LOVES: being tossed in the air (lol), her brother's toys, and baths (she will positively DANCE in anticipation while standing at the edge of the bathtub watching it fill...)

HATES : having her (her brother's) toys ripped away by big brother...

Milestone: We discovered "piggies" (pigtails - see above picture on left!) and now need to stock up on those teeny little elastics!

 ALSO! she started walking with her (Button's old) walker this past weekend!

 E casually set her up with it (why didn't we try before now?) and she just started cruising around!!


We also had a tooth break through earlier this month! That sucker is the hardest thing to try and snag a picture of! Here's my best peek:

The next tooth, the other bottom one, has mounded up under the gums... hers seem to take forever to actually cut through, but once they're through - man they take off!

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Daddy was away on a business trip from Thursday morning until Sunday, so we had crazy mornings in bed:

We did some lazy breakfast-for-dinner meals (where Mommy ate out of the frying pan, while standing up... this was Friday night and I was beat after a full work-week! and yes, that is spilled pepper... the plug fell out of the bottom of the shaker, and I didn't get around to cleaning it until the next morning!)

We also hosted a baby play/craft-date this weekend: Two friends and their boys came over to make "Bum-kins" (ok and drink and do some mommy-socializing... =P )

(What are "Bum-kins" you say?) 

With our finished little Bum-kins:

The kids all had fun, rotating between the bouncer, the travel highchair, and the floor...
While the dogs all tortured the babies (wouldn't stop licking their faces!), Button did great playing gently with them all!

The aftermath in the lower right picture... (this did not include the orange paint and newspaper we cleaned up before eating dinner!)

The kids were both exhausted by the time we were alone again (Button had skipped a nap, Ms. Mack basically only had about 45m worth....) so they were both down for the count by 8pm (YES!)

I was able to clean up and get the house back to decent shape...

Good thing, because Daddy arrived home Sunday morning around 7:45 (after a long night flying red-eye from the West Coast!)

We all had breakfast together, then he dragged himself to bed while I graciously took the kids with me food shopping...

When we returned, the dogs caused enough of a ruckus barking that they woke him up... so we finished off the beautiful day with a nice walk down our dead-end street...

You'd think it was 30 degrees outside from the way we bundled them up (Button took his hat off for the picture)
It was only in the 50's... lol

Working Mom Guilt?

actually, no... (Do I feel guilt over not BFing Button as well as I did Ms. Mack? yes... but another story, for another day...)

Recently a coworker asked me if I was still taking Wednesdays off (which I got to do for a few months after returning from maternity leave)... while I reminisced at how nice it was to have those days off with my girlie, I honestly responded, "no - and it's ok, I don't mind being back to work FULL full-time..."


::double-take:: right??

While I would just adore the extra day to get shit done around the house (laundry, putting away the clean clothes that have piled up 3 loads high at the foot of my bed?!) I honestly don't mind working 5 days a week... (Of course, realize that on average, I'm off once every two weeks or so - kids' illnesses or doctor appointments, for which I take the whole day, or my doctor/dentist/dermatologist/ophthalmologist appointments...)


But again, why am I ok being away from my kids for 40 hours a week?!

While motherhood definitely defines who I am, it only defines PART of who I am as a person.

I'm also an avid reader, a crafter (hello crochet!), a pianist, and hobby-photographer.

I enjoy listening to music and having drinks with my girlfriends!

I am still a person, and believe that I can be a better mother if I take care of myself first - mostly mentally.  (I was going to say physically too, but I guess I can mother just as well even when my eyebrows are woofing because I haven't had time for a wax salon visit... true story.)

I was thinking all of this as I read a favorite blog of mine, Enjoying The Small Things by Kelle Hampton... Her recent "10 Ways To Get Your Mom-Mojo Back" (yay for catchy click-able titles!) screamed for me to read, and the two most important take-aways I wanted to note:


Get away FROM the kids. Ironic, yes, but it works.  You need to breathe for yourself before you can breathe life into motherhood, so get out the door and go find a coffee shop.  A bookstore. A TJ Maxx, a Whole Foods, a pottery class, a sushi joint, a hotel.  Be by yourself. Journal. Harmlessly gossip.  I can leave my house on a Saturday morning for my “Hour of Power” thinking I might never come back, and every time I pull back in my driveway after some time alone, my heart soars at the site of my kids running to greet me.

My get-away is my work day (do I need it every day?  ..... sometimes! lol)
And when I walk into the daycare and Ms. Mack spots my face for the first time... oh those smiles...

(I'll be that horrible mother of two, where all of her photos are of her baby, and almost none of my first born...) but nearly every day, Button sees me and Ms. Mack through his room's window, and I can hear his "Mommy Mommy Mommy Mommy!" start before I've come around the corner and through the door....

But the get-aways, no matter how long, short, or frequent, are important... because then, when we do THIS, it is that much sweeter:
2. Get away WITH the kids.   We’re on a little staycation right now, and I can’t tell you how great it’s been to be away and not have laundry or cleaning or e-mails to keep me busy.  Our job is simply to HAVE FUN, and it makes me appreciate these little kid days so much. 

So, tomorrow E heads out of town (across country actually!) until Sunday morning, and I've penciled in and booked a few close mom-friends and their babies for an epic-Going-With-No-Plan playdate on Saturday. What time?

Whatever time they want to come. lol

We'll take a field-trip to the post office Saturday morning, because there's a postal worker who wants to buy a Cincher (my new business! OMG! if you buy/wear LuLaRoe, you need one of these! They're custom-made!
and if you sell LuLaRoe, you need to offer these to your VIP customers! (Bulk discounts available!)
Give code BuggyList15 for 15% off your order!  

And  then the day is our oyster... I think we're gonna paint some tushes and make these cute little Butt-kins with our friends!

Just F*cking Doing It

I know I know - boring lately, just posting other articles I've read. real original thoughts, right?

can I help it if what I'm thinking is so much more eloquently worded by someone else? ; )


especially when my language and self-expression, when inspired, gets filled with expletives every other word...

Like last night - which went like this:
    ~5:10    headed to daycare from work
  
    ~5:40    hit the grocery store with both kids - we needed fruits and veggies to blend for Ms. Mack's food

    ~6:15    get home, wrangle kids and groceries inside - leave the frozen stuff on the counter while I get the dogs out to go potty (all the while Button, who ripped his shoes and socks off first thing, is scrambling to get them back on because he "WANTS TO GO WITH [me] OUTSIDE!!!"   

    ~6:45    E rolls in from work as I'm defrosting shrimp and starting to cut up pears (for Ms. Mack's purees) and of course, he spends 20 minutes playing with the kids... isn't that nice? to walk in from work and play with your kids?

    ~7:15   we're sitting down to dinner, I'm feeding Ms. Mack (and in between her screams for more food, feeding myself) the pears are on pause...

    ~7:45   Ms. Mack is fussy (she last woke from a nap at daycare at 3pm...) I head upstairs with her to nurse and put her to bed... (hoping for a fuss-free bedtime, she should be tired enough!)

    ~8:10   Come downstairs, E is out on the front step with Button eating ice pops.  As I'm in the kitchen cutting up the third pear to boil, I hear him ask if I can take Button to bed tonight...      ....... I literally asked, "are you serious? or just saying that for his sake/to get him in line?" (Remember tantrums? because he wants daddy to take him to bed?)  No, he's serious...

    ~8:20  I put the pears on to boil, ask E to watch them, and take Button up to bed - teeth get brushed, we go potty one last time (been rocking undies to bed!) and read three ("just one more!") four books and sing songs (as I whisper-yell at Button to be quiet, for fear of waking up the baby in the same room...)

    ~8:40  back downstairs, continue working on the purees - while the pears boil, I peel and chop carrots.  While the carrots boil, I drain, blend and jar the pears... while I drained, blended and jarred the carrots, the green beans and spinach were boiling...

     ~10:20ish   finally closed the last jar of applesauce, got the kitchen cleaned up - oh wait, I need to make bottles for daycare tomorrow... (which entails defrosting a bag of milk since she drank all 3 bottles that day and I only pumped 2...)

     ~10:21ish    oh but wait - Ms. Mack ended up on her stomach and is fussing, so I need to go rock her back to sleep, after the "shushing" didn't work...

     ~10:50    Ms. Mack back to sleep, I finished bottles for daycare and got my pump bag packed. 


oh look it's time to go to bed...
and then E will occasionally have the nerve to complain that he never has time to do his stuff (like his side projects for which he makes money!!)


All that to segue to:
   I have friends that ask "how is it having two kids versus one?"
And I mostly answer, not that much different...

You've already gone through the wholly-life-changing "omfg-what-did-I-do" event of having your first baby... just mix in a few more sleepless nights, more caffeine, and more craziness and you've gone from one kid to two!

what about the people that are all, "man I don't know how you do it! Working full time and all the other magnificent things you do like laundry, and house work, and feeding the kids..."  (sorry - got carried away with what I'd like to be hearing... lol)

but really, how do I do it?

I just fucking do it - because as a mom, I have to!

queue link to another great article I recently read, nodding my head at almost every part, going "uh HUH! YUP - OMG SO TRUE!"

            The "Just Fucking Doing It" Club

because as moms, we just fucking do it...

"And you know what – it is fucking impressive but also – it is what it is.
We are the Just Fucking Doing It Club.
Nobody gets shit done like mothers do."


I'll be over here, getting shit done... 

answer anger with... LOVENESS

Being the mom of a threenager  a moody toddler an active and accident-prone but well-intentioned little boy (he throws his empty dishes into the sink blindly... love that he cleans up after himself, but I'm surprised he hasn't yet broken any glass that was in the sink! **He has broken a glass in the living room...) there have totally been times where I feel myself losing my cool at the 10th tantrum in three hours...

but I recently came across this article, which was really a share of this fabulous post by mommy Kathleen Fleming, author of the blog Majestic Unicorn (helluva blog name, right?!)

and this post - oh man, all the feels...

this here is how I want to be able to react... to tantrums because he wants Daddy, to accidentally shattered glasses, to thrown toys, to anything that really isn't that big of a deal in the grand scheme of life...

Broken Things

This was my hallway last Wednesday.  

Broken.  Sharp.  Treacherous.

This was my hallway.

It was my son who did this.

Sometimes, often really, things break - irreparably.  And it takes your breath away ... straight away.

It took my breath away when my son stormed into the bathroom, frustrated, angry, fed-up for his very own, very significant to him, reasons.  And when he chose to SLAM the bathroom door, causing the heavy mirror mounted to the front to slip out of the hardware holding it in place and crash onto the floor - a million, BROKEN pieces were left reflecting the afternoon light.

I was quiet.  I surveyed the damage and took a deep breath.  Put the dog outside so he wouldn't cut his feet, put the cat in the basement for the same reason.

I walked into the backyard and felt the hot tears streaming down my face.  It's amazing how alone you can feel as a single parent in moments like these.  I realized how scared and disappointed I felt.  Did this really just happen?  Yes.  This was real.

And as I stood and considered whether or not this was an indication of his developing character, I heard his tears through the window above me, coming from inside the bathroom.

His soul hurt.  This was not what he expected either.  Hello, Anger - I don't remember inviting you into my house.

Scary.

Terrified.

Ashamed.

Worried.

Scared.

Deep breath, #MamaWarrior.  Deep breath.  That small, fragile soul needs you right now.  He needs your very best.  Your biggest compassion.  Your most gentle and firm mama love and reassurance.  More deep breaths.  Go Mama.

Go.  Go now.  Go open the front door, tiptoe through the broken glass, hear him hearing you coming, watch the bathroom door crack open, see the face you love most in the world red with worry and wet with tears, his voice is suddenly so small: "Mama, I'll never do it again, I am SO sorry."  More tears.  More weeping.  Such uncertainty on his sweet face.

Go Mama.  Get him.  Go now.  Scoop him into your lap.  Yup, you're crying too.  Damn this was big.  Hold him tight.  Watch how he curls into a ball in your arms so quickly.  See how eager he is to be loved by you.  To be reassured by you.  See how small he still is.  See how fragile that spirit is.

I love you.

You are safe.

I am right here.

The worst part is over now.

I've got you.

I'm here.

 I love you.

Go Mama.  Tell him about Anger.  Tell him now.  Anger is a really powerful feeling.  You have a right to your Anger.  Anger burns hot.  It can purify.  It can also destroy.  He nods.  He feels it.  He's met Anger now.

There's a better way to show your big feelings.

We'll work on it together .... tomorrow.

I'm here to help you.

You are safe.

You are never alone in your anger.

 You are never alone in your fears.

I'm here.  We're here together.

Now we will clean together.

And we cleaned up the broken pieces.  We swept and we vacuumed.  It was quiet work.  It was careful work.  It was thoughtful work.

Sometimes things break.  Sometimes we break them.  It's not the breaking that matters, the how or why.  What matters is how we choose to respond to the broken-ness.  Does it kill us?  Does it throw us into a downward spiral of blame and punishment?

OR

Does it help us remember how to love deepest?  Does it push us towards compassion and over the hurdle of "rightness" and "wrongness" into LOVENESS?

Yes.  LOVENESS.

Go Mama.  Go now.  Get that baby of yours.  Teach that.  Show that.  Live that.  It's called LOVENESS.  Go.  Now.

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aaaand tears well up again as I copy, paste & skim....

LOVENESS