Battle of the Bulge...
Battle of the Bumps...
Battle of the Bees...
First, my good friend Dee and I never made it to the bridal store for White Dress shopping.
(she gets a little anxious when we call it Bridal Gown shopping...)
We were all prepped and ready with a little celebratory champagne when we arrived and found out that the first store closed an hour before we got there - D'OH!
At the second store, Dee realized an attendant had to help us and she said, "I didn't realize this would be such a big deal, I can't do this yet!"
Soooo - we just went to dinner and proceeded to drink half their menu.
*Begin Battle of the Bulge*
And I have to admit, I've been slacking on hot yoga lately... why bother when its already 100degrees out?!
One night I figured I'd at least get out walking - only to look out the window and see torrential downpour.
And I was secretly relieved because then I could curl up with my latest Nook novel and a glass of wine and further put off procrastinating on working out.
*Enter Battle of the Bump*
I had started to think lately that I was far enough healed to be capable of hearing about BFF and her successful pregnancy.
EEERRRHH!!!!!
WRONG!
E started to tell me how she had been having some pain in her leg because the baby was pressing on her lower back, and all I could think - over and over - was how lucky she was to be at the stage where her baby's big enough to be pushing around stuff in there. She's starting to feel him/her move around. And oh god - she's a week or so from finding out the sex. And it's a downward spiral - I know I can't handle being around that yet. Just being told by someone else nearly brought me to tears.
I know I'm only handling the pregnant assistant by ignoring the whole situation. That system tends to fail when she comes in at noon every other week from a check up appointment (remember her diabeetus??)
Speaking of diaBEEtus (because I have no better segue), E got stung a few nights ago while mowing the lawn. We think it was a yellow jacket (vs a regular ole honey bee) because his ankle has swollen to grotesque proportions (he calls it his EleFoot) and there's now a rash that looks like bruising and poison ivy blisters. (Don't worry - no P365 pictures of this!)
When I saw last night that what looked like bruising had spread down his foot, I put MY foot down (ha - pun intended) and said "You're having a doctor look at that NOW."
Off to the ER we went. I have to say I married a complete clown, and he matches me perfectly. We passed the time making off-color jokes...
("Why don't you see what kind of candy they have in that candy box on the wall?")
And eavesdropping on the patient across the 4-bed unit we were in. Oh lawds.
From what I could gather, she was in for some abdominal pain? Like, period cramping.
The doctor was telling her she should go to a gynecologist for further testing - she was all, "where do I find a office thats got one of them?"
And she sat and hollered at nurses to take out her IV - "Hey mami - hey hunnie, come help me wit dis! I been havin' to piss since beFO I got 'dis in!"
You know when you get a picture in your head of who is speaking and then you see the person and you're like, "NO WAY!"
That's what this was like - she was maybe twenty-something, well dressed, looked clean and hygenic... we just kind of laughed as she strolled out of there.
A tetanus shot and Rx for antibiotics later, we finally got back home to the DELICIOUS pad thai that I made FROM SCRATCH that sat on the stove for 2 hours. (Ok, so it was a sauce packet that I mixed with coconut milk - but otherwise from scratch!)
Still looks good 2 hours later, right??
I'm just glad E recognized it -
"The first night in a MONTH that my wife cooks dinner and it's sitting at home while we are in an ER..."
*Continuing Battle of the Bulge...
